Tonight is bad, 17th wasn't that bad. Maybe because 17th's conversation was about me, and I took full responsibility of it, but this isn't my fault. I was so fucked up then, and I shouldn't even be judged on the basis of that, as if you need a chat conversation to know me.
So much has changed in these three years, we've fought so much over stupid stuff and have gotten so close (differently), that if something hurts you today, even before you feel sad, I'm in tears not for myself, but for your pain. Is it even possible ? Yes, it is, I have that in me, I could almost feel it over the phone, I always do.
Maybe 'he' shouldn't have trusted a stranger (me) then, but had I judged you then, you wouldn't have been my closest friend today, I cannot think the world without you, like I cannot without, Richu. You are that close, and you should know.
After the 17th of June'09, I'm a changed person, you and I both know that. And thank you, for that. I don't care about anyone else, except a few, I can even count, five trusted friends I have and I don't consider anyone else my friend, let alone trust them or even hang out with them. I don't care about the bitching that goes around outside 'my' world, I'm above all this. Really. It sickens me. A lit bit of fun here and there is fine, but what has to be there is, a lot of Compassion and Goodness, and you have that, that is why you are my friend.
Ok, now I need to sleep. We shall continue this tomorrow morning, hopefully. I love you, and I'm sorry once again.
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