Heartache...

Don't you hate it when you can literally feel it?? Like there's a weight at the bottom of your heart, dragging it down, and hooks attached to both the sides, pulling it apart, while sharp shards of glass are being thrown and twisted into it.
Yes, that pretty much describes it.
I'm so tired of feeling alone, used, overlooked, left out, left behind and rejected.
It's pretty much no one's fault but my own. I'm too fucked up. Too paranoid. Too broken from past relationships. Too untrusting. Too scared of being alone. But mostly just too fucked up.
This is what I was feeling 2 days ago. I wouldn't admit it at the time, but this is how I felt.
Like I was NOTHING. I felt like I meant nothing, I was worth nothing, I was nothing.
And that's how I feel now.
...I'm being brushed (or shoved) aside again.
When will I ever learn??
I just need to pull back from everything and everyone and learn how to manage on my own.
----
By the way, for those of you who having been hearing things about me and a certain situation in the month of March... I want to set the record straight, and I also don't want to end up saying something later on about it and people finding out and thinking that I was trying to hide it- because I'm not. I don't care what people think of me now. Go on, judge me, think whatever, I don't give a shit. Actually, I'd prefer to know what you really think. So that I can weed out right away who's really the type of person that I wouldn't want involved in my life. Because this isn't the end of this. I'm not all of a sudden perfect, now that I've hit society's picture of 'rock bottom'. So, first, to clear the number one misconception up-
I wasn't trying to kill myself.
I don't know. I'm so confused about everything right now, and I barely remember anything from that day. But no, I don't think it was.
That's all I wanted to clarify.

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...But too damn weird to do anything about it!

href="How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howweirdareyouquiz/">How Weird Are You?

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self.No doubt, you are all about making good music...But what really gets you going is having an over the top show.Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

href="What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofrockerareyouquiz/">What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Pardon me while I hit the Break! You are Brandon
Boyd From Incubus. You are mellow kat and tend
to go with the flow. You enjoy spending time
with our beloved Mother Earth and writing chill
music that relfects this lifestyle. Peace be
with you hippie!

Which Rock Icon Are You Most Like?
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The little servant
lividly pale, almost calm, biting his lips
a pipel, the young boy that is under oberkapo.
who feels hatred, scarred for life,and relieved that this nightmare is almost over.
who fears living with death, the ss, and of course
death.
who would like this nightmare to end.
resident of buna
the sad-eyed angel