I wish I could tell you. I wish I could hear you. I wish I could hold your hand. I miss you. :( That stays, that's always constant, like the way I love you and always will.

RIP Nex!

I have a lot to say, but I clearly don't have enough words to express the way I feel today.

The perfect host. The vicious kind. Picture perfect. English Vinglish. The perks of being a wallflower. Silver linings playbook. Sinister. Argo. Mietras duermes. Exotica. City of God. Silence. Alexandra's project. Celeste and Jesse forever. Albatross. Medianeras. Tyrannosaur. La cara oculta. Doubt. One day. Last night. A moment to remember. Moonrise kingdom. Candy. Storytelling. In search of a midnight kiss. People like us. Love and other drugs. Damage. Always. Identity thief. The five year engagement. Yeopgijeogin geunyeo. Never back down. Mozart and the whale. Deadgirl. Safe haven. Tonight you're mine. Suicide room. Yellow handkerchief. Abhoman. Underworld. Underworld evoulution. Rise of the lycans. Underworld awakening. Empire records. Stoker. Ranjhana. Ghanchaakar, Tiny furniture. No strings attached. The scenet of a woman. Meet joe black. Hunger games. In time. Disconnect. Side effects. Chasing liberty. Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I miss you. I love you. Will it ever die out ? Tell me, NO!

Losing my wings.

In utter disbelief, I sit and cry at the choice she made. Him Vs Me. Always him, nothing changes in these seven years. Nothing. I for once even had the gall to ask her to make a choice, knowingly perfectly well what the outcome would be. Truth be told, I’m not surprised, I think, I’m a little disappointed at everything that panned out last night. Why isn’t there somebody who can handle me or my intensity? I feel so numb, even to get to the laptop, turn it on, and punch in some words took me nine and a half hours. I don’t have a friend left , I miss her terribly, but choices must be made, as firm as I have to be with her, I have to be with myself too, it’s not for my benefit, it won’t get me anywhere, I hope she realizes in time, that all I do, is for her. I tread alone, carefully. How does one even breathe? How do they live? How do they hurt, and not call back? How do you sit and see someone crying for hours, and not console, only thinking about how I would react. I don’t have words left, I’m hurting and you’ve been hurt. Hopefully, you will have your head and your guy, as you would like them. I sign off. Thanks for the love. All of it. Don't tell me, that I am taking the easy way out.

As I'm dying, this is the last picture in my head. When we were just starting out as friends all over again.

It is getting worse as I type.

So, yes. I have been away for a while, because I was having a pretty moderate time if not good. But, Now I'm back, all alone, in this hole. Thought for the day: I thought money was the hardest thing to give away, apparently it's not, it's TIME. You don't want to give time to somebody because you don't have enough love or respect for them, there could be another conclusion to this, when you are available for somebody all the time, they don't appreciate your value. Yes, now I'm valueless. I have no value, maybe I did not, before as well, but now I realize it. I have loved like there was no tomorrow. I really don't deserve anything. I have nothing to give to anyone anymore. I'm so heartbroken, and for the love of God, I don't know what's wrong with me, since last evening. I'm in so much of pain. I miss those moments. Those walks, those conversation. How does one start from the scratch, when his life has been turned upside down ? I need a little prayer. The love of my life is gone along with my best friend, and something just died in me.