I have begun to grow dull,
Blurry and faded,
Like the shadow of a face
Lost in the distance
At the corner of an out of focus photo.
The tart juice of vexation
Failed to illicit the familiar pucker
Of plump, pink lips,
Yet the gravelly bray
Of inappropriately timed laughter
Was absent from the soundtrack of my day.
I wait for the haze,
Which slowly descends
Across the valley of my temperance,
To ultimately shroud my ability to dread
The deterioration of fervor.

Words women use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

LOUD SIGH
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men.

A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man.

"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Send this to the Men you know and want to help, or to the Women you know for a laugh.

I think i'm going insane. I just feel like i'm falling all the time and i can't seem to hold myself up. Then i'm just randomly pissed or sad for no apparent reason. And of course i keep thinking I'm hearing my dad call me from the bottom of the staircase but no one is ever there! i can't even describe it becuase whenever i want to the feeling goes away in an instant. I'm confused and there's all this shit that is going on that i can't even explain.

I feel fucking drained. I can't move. Ok fine I don't want to move. Still its taking everything I've got to fucking live. Everything is becoming a chore and I'm just so tired of living. I'm too sensitive to live. Too lazy to breathe. Too thick to feel. Too desperate to be loved. Too lost to think. Too stupid to be smart. Too much like myself to be someone else.

..and You know you never really grow up. At least I don't think you do. Because it doesn't matter how much you age, how much you change, mature, or learn the basics stay the same. Feelings will always be the same. I don't mean your going to feel the same way about something forever, just that love is always going to feel like love, hate will always be hate. And the conversations stay the same too, or at least the way you go about them. Topics change but that's all. This isn't really getting what I'm trying to say across, but just hear me out. I think that no matter how old you get inside you'll always be the same person you were when you were 6, 15, 24, 33....whenever. No matter how radical some of the changes in your life may be you are who you are and you'll always be that person. The childish side will always be there. You'll always be a litt kid. But this is just what I think, and what do I know? I've never even grown up. But still.......

Is it true?
That you never existed?
That I wasted so many of my tears
That I still cry into clenched fists?

The woman's voice
I heard on the other end
Was nothing more than a make-believe
Figment of someone's imagination?

That the one I loved
I adored
Never died
Because you never lived before?

Before the stack of lies
That forced someone to hack out a dream
That only existed because of our desperation
To be needed?

I don't want to believe your aren't real
All the dark pain we shared
You put on one hell of an act,that convinced me you could feel
I would have stopped at nothing to chase away your fears

I, believed you to be in fear for your life
With no one to protect you
All the while you craved our strife
God, how could you?

Even put on a grand show
Convincing the world of your sudden death
How many attendees to your supposed funeral
Shed false tears as they mocked laughter under their breath's?

I dedicated my heart
To making you feel better
Would have given anything
To make you feel that much safer

I wrote poems to make you smile
I buried you when I thought you had died
In your memory my book was so titled
How this breaks my spirit, that you were just a lie

I'll cut my wrists
Slice my throat
Not for you...
But because of my being this endless joke

I don't want to feel anymore
Nor love again
Neither in reality
Not even for pretend

I just want to remember you
As I once did
So I can be ok
Living in all of this blood soaked sin

Who ever did this
Probably thinks he or she is very smart
But I'll damn you all to hell
For shattering this trusting and giving heart.

Oh, I'll move on
I'll find the humanity still held within
I'll never be the same though
This time I'll be extra picky, when it comes to choosing my friends.

Imagined or not....
This will eternally stain me
...With unforgivable, , decaying rot
That has once again, created my stupidity.

Not knowing what is on the road ahead
Isn’t as scary
When I realize
It's because I am headed to a new place.
The old roads, filled with potholes
Have seen the last of my smiling face.
There are blue skies
And green pastures
Ahead for me.
The tank is full
And I am on my way.
I have so much to give
And I finally believe
Someone is waiting
To take it.
Look out, baby,
Here I come.

Not knowing what is on the road ahead
Isn’t as scary
When I realize
It's because I am headed to a new place.
The old roads, filled with potholes
Have seen the last of my smiling face.
There are blue skies
And green pastures
Ahead for me.
The tank is full
And I am on my way.
I have so much to give
And I finally believe
Someone is waiting
To take it.
Look out, baby,
Here I come.