The only good thing about the trip was to totally get wasted on Booze and weed and have a GOOD conversation with Deenabandhu. :)

I've come far, and though I'm far from the end, I don't mind where I am, 'cause I know where I've been. :)

Okay, I'm bored.

Foolish, it is, really, though it cannot be controlled, can it?
Hope is futile.
Hah!
I despise it, really, though, at the same time, I continue to feed it, to give it life.
Damn the innateness (sp?) of it all.
Void.
Void.
Void.
The result if change does not occur.
Maybe?
Histrionic, yes.

Everytime, it is ruined, only due to my permitance.

You may have been right.

I'm so mindfucked, I want to write so much here and I do have so many things to write about, but I cannot, not because it's public, but I just cannot.

I need to concentrate.

You see, they always remember

Ah, shit.
Yet another epiphany.
Lovely.
[oh yes, please note the sarcasm]


Feelings-wise, aren't we supposed to feel something, say something, when something happens to someone?
Or is everyone like me in this respect?
Someone could tell me that their friend died and I'd just sit there, look at them, blink a couple times, saying 'oh, I'm sorry' and go straight back to my work.
Aren't you supposed to feel more than that??

I feel completely, detached from my feelings.
Like my emotions and my body are two separate things.
People can show emotion towards me and my mind won't even pay attention.
It'll just go anywhere. And I don't feel bad for ruining a moment.

Pretty. Odd.

It's been the fourth day. Damn, I miss her. :( :(

But, I'm going home, tomorrow. :D

Elligible for support

iLog releases on May 15th.

Waiting...

I look, she looks.

Most of the time, I cannot even look into her eyes, heh.

Am I reading into this a bit too much?