I feel so fucked up. :( Everything is working out, but yet... there is something missing, I was so happy even before six months, now I don't even have a reason to smile. I hate everything, I need to recover from this. I need to. I want to say so much, yet I don't have the ear, I want to whisper it to. How soon it would be, before you understand. I know you know. But, then what ? What happens, next ?

Shit happens, next. As always. It will die, and I will be a Zombie all over again, numbed. NUMBED.

Never let me go.
Old school.
Before sunset.
Luck by chance.
Dorothy Mills.
The shipping news.
Secret window.
White oleander.
I am number four.

It's time to cut off from people again, a repeat of December'10 to February'11.
God, I hate this feeling. If I can't help myself, nobody can.

I need to get out of this emotional mess.

So last Saturday, we'd gone to see Hangover 2, reasons why I loved the movie was because, I was with two of my closest friends Debb and Kumar, and secondly when Hangover 1 had released, I didn't have anyone to go for the movie with, so much later, I downloaded and had watched it all alone, and didn't like it a bit.


Debb, KSC, SK and VKD, all are leaving for Bangalore, in July and August. Last day at Wipro, Kolkata is on 1st July. Since yesterday, all I did was cry and sleep, Im feeling sick in a weird way, that I can't explain, and to think next month this time, I won't see them, I want to run to the loo and throw up. I just want to sleep, so that I don't have to think about anything else anymore, just for the time being, till I get used to all this.
I know, I will move on again. This isn't the first time. Im scared, I will stop feeling the same for them, the way I feel now. Im scared of myself and my feelings for people, it stops, and this happens only when I've hurt too much.