I think i'm going insane. I just feel like i'm falling all the time and i can't seem to hold myself up. Then i'm just randomly pissed or sad for no apparent reason. And of course i keep thinking I'm hearing my dad call me from the bottom of the staircase but no one is ever there! i can't even describe it becuase whenever i want to the feeling goes away in an instant. I'm confused and there's all this shit that is going on that i can't even explain.

I feel fucking drained. I can't move. Ok fine I don't want to move. Still its taking everything I've got to fucking live. Everything is becoming a chore and I'm just so tired of living. I'm too sensitive to live. Too lazy to breathe. Too thick to feel. Too desperate to be loved. Too lost to think. Too stupid to be smart. Too much like myself to be someone else.

..and You know you never really grow up. At least I don't think you do. Because it doesn't matter how much you age, how much you change, mature, or learn the basics stay the same. Feelings will always be the same. I don't mean your going to feel the same way about something forever, just that love is always going to feel like love, hate will always be hate. And the conversations stay the same too, or at least the way you go about them. Topics change but that's all. This isn't really getting what I'm trying to say across, but just hear me out. I think that no matter how old you get inside you'll always be the same person you were when you were 6, 15, 24, 33....whenever. No matter how radical some of the changes in your life may be you are who you are and you'll always be that person. The childish side will always be there. You'll always be a litt kid. But this is just what I think, and what do I know? I've never even grown up. But still.......