Truth be told, that Chardonnay wine had me sleeping for two days. Jeez !! :| :\
Goodnight, again.

Nothing stays.

Okay, So S bought me this the other day, I let it sit for almost a week and then the first glass hit me, I got drunk bad and I was yelling pissing people off, second glass I was snoring. This is a good sedative. ;)
This shit was good. :D

So please don't let it
Please don't let it go
'Cause if you won't let it I won't let it go
So please don't let it
Please don't let it go
'Cause if you don't let it I won't let it go

I'm trippy early in the morning, it's such a nice song. :P

My favorite tee shirts vanished, so did my green pull over, so did my Apple flask. Anyway, it doesn't stop me from winning this super sexy thing. :)

The resolution of the picture is bad. But whattodo ?
Time for Nikon. ;)

Hey
You used me
But I had none to confide.

Anything, you don't like, come in here. :)

Please win. :D
Please.

Over a month and no smoke at all. :)

I have done this on my own, without anyone asking me to quit.
I'm SO proud of meself. :D

Requiem

Tired again. Weary. I'm so dry for ideas. When will I get one? That idea. The idea. Words written. Words to write. Much to do. Much needed to be done. When will it be done? I'm tired of myself. I cannot lie. I will not lie. The words flow more freely now. Natural. Unplanned. A vision. An idea. Where does it come from? Men in a control room? Forget what they said. Forget what they do. Life begins and ends with only you.

Ignore sound. Ignore fate. You are fate. Your words are fate. Your dreams are fate. Your stories are fate. You are fate. Forget the time, the day. This is fate. Her sweet hands will once again be yours. No. They won't. Don't let yourself lie to you. Move past. Move on. Move forward. There's no other way to move. Psychology. Chemistry. Biology. History. Our story. You'll get it soon. You'll get it sometime. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. I'm afraid to stop.

Inspire me. Inspire. let's inspire. Dreams. Fantasies. Stories. It's you. It's fate. You're fate. We're fate. We're life. Life is long, unplanned. This is unplanned. There is no control. There is no order. It is all chaos. Unknown chaos. Figure it out. You'll find yourself figuring it out soon. Try not to worry too much. It stops your idea. It stops your thought. It stops the train. Worry stops it all. Don't let yourself worry. Prophecy. Prophets. I wonder where it comes from. If it's natural like this. If it just flows out of them, no thought before, no thought after. Just a natural chain of occurances (sp?) to predict the future.

To know the future. Would you keep it? The future. Would you want it? Maybe there is no such thing as future. Tomorrow always becomes today, so in reality, today is tomorrow. The future is the present, the present is the future. The past is the future. The future is the past. It's a big chain, and circle, a never ending thought process. It's a dream. It's a fantasy. It's unknown. Maybe that's the way it should stay. Who wants to really know? Who needs to know? Live. Be fate. Take control in the chaos. Plan to not plan. Spontaneous. Combust (sp?).

Fear is fire to keep you away. Fire is drive to move forward. Which is it? What is this ambiguity of life?

There are NO hellos and goodbyes..

I apologize to anyone whose life I’ve interfered with.



Actually, I don’t.



Anyone can damn well know that if they didn’t want me there I would have left. If it pains a person so much to be around me they can simply seal themselves off to me. Those who are sick of me need not be discrete about it.



I do hope though, that I’m not simply being used for somebody’s amusement, as to see how far down I can be driven before I die.



Me, my pain is the effect of leaving my heart open and vulnerable. I acknowledge that much. But I don’t need to be anyone’s burden.



My heart is a wasteful item. I’ll shred it apart myself. I don’t need memories. I don’t need love.



Heh, I'm fucking pathetic. I understand much more than I let on. I simply don't flow with the mainstream of society. I've observed enough to know what the world has come to. I don't belong here. I believe in chivalry. I believe in innocence. I believe in love. I believe in faithfulness. I believe in goodwill. One can argue that I am simply naive. I’ve yet to ever observe any of these things myself, and yet I believe in them. I may never find a place where these ideals coexist, but to surrender them would be to surrender my heart. My heart bleeds because everything I ever hear, see, or experience shoots them down.

It is rather pointless to dedicate my life to pursuing something that is so false.

Nothing exists beyond the physicality of the world.

So, I won. :P
3:1.5 ?! :)

Good win. :)
Now, let's see the actual outcome.

Yes, so if you do not know how to love me the way, I want you to love me, then you do not love me at all, IMHO.

You are free to think whatever you want.

I turned you down so hastily
And it’s tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
And it’s cold
So cold

So I found you
Found a way all through
The quiet cold of inner darkness
And now that you're here
It becomes so clear
I have waited for you always

Today, I went back and read our oldest conversation. And now I can almost feel you here, sitting on the sofa at the back of me, listening to music and playing with your old old phone.

I forgot, which one was it ?

Still at it. :)

Very very consistent.

All my life, I've thought I didn't have an ego, till yesterday.
They've proved it.

I guess, I'm glad.

..times have changed and now I find I'm free for the first time
feel so close to everything now
strange how life makes sense in time

I spent 12 hours straight at work. :)
Haha, what fun. :P

Today was so like B'lore, it was SO cloudy and windy, still is.
And, I have not slept, and I'm off to work.

Good times.

And I would freeze if you ever asked me, that was my way.

Dhurrrrrrrrr, abar din gona shuru, I hate waiting. :| :'( :(