I've come far, and though I'm far from the end, I don't mind where I am, 'cause I know where I've been. :)

Okay, I'm bored.

Foolish, it is, really, though it cannot be controlled, can it?
Hope is futile.
Hah!
I despise it, really, though, at the same time, I continue to feed it, to give it life.
Damn the innateness (sp?) of it all.
Void.
Void.
Void.
The result if change does not occur.
Maybe?
Histrionic, yes.

Everytime, it is ruined, only due to my permitance.

You may have been right.

I'm so mindfucked, I want to write so much here and I do have so many things to write about, but I cannot, not because it's public, but I just cannot.

I need to concentrate.

You see, they always remember

Ah, shit.
Yet another epiphany.
Lovely.
[oh yes, please note the sarcasm]


Feelings-wise, aren't we supposed to feel something, say something, when something happens to someone?
Or is everyone like me in this respect?
Someone could tell me that their friend died and I'd just sit there, look at them, blink a couple times, saying 'oh, I'm sorry' and go straight back to my work.
Aren't you supposed to feel more than that??

I feel completely, detached from my feelings.
Like my emotions and my body are two separate things.
People can show emotion towards me and my mind won't even pay attention.
It'll just go anywhere. And I don't feel bad for ruining a moment.

Pretty. Odd.

It's been the fourth day. Damn, I miss her. :( :(

But, I'm going home, tomorrow. :D

Elligible for support

iLog releases on May 15th.

Waiting...

I look, she looks.

Most of the time, I cannot even look into her eyes, heh.

Am I reading into this a bit too much?

Eva Mendez, in short hair and specs!!!

Hot OR Not?!

I'm grinning, like a fool.

A very good friend of mine, walked out of his house today, and when he came to my room to bid me goodbye, he looked very nice, I've never seen Z look so nice, he had tears in his eyes, while he hugged me tight, and told me all the shit that he has been facing.

At that moment, I felt so helpless to see him cry, 'cause all I could do is just hug him tight and never want to let go of him, but life always tricks you, it has to. In this four years, that I've known him, I've seen the side of him, which noone even bothered to, not even his so called 'girlfriends.'

I've seen him grow up to (not so much, 'cause life always tricks you) a nice funny, talkative, depressed, heartbroken, loving, drunk guy. I shall miss him so much, the evenings, when he'd make me coffee, we'd indulge in talking and smoking too much of tobacc.

Going, going, GONE.

Tagged by Solo

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:

i 'There will be blood' on Satuday afternoon

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?

The Windup bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (I'm a very very slow reader)

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?

Business and Ludo.

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?

Tinkle (new favourite)

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Cold coffee, Domex, Vicks, the aftersmell of fags mixed with aftershave/cologne on my hand (I don't remember muxh at the moment)

6. FAVORITE SOUND?

-

7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

Being betrayed by the people I love (not that I haven't betrayed anyone)
Somene crying in front of me (which happened last night and I felt so terrible)
Wanting to help people, but cannot do a thing about it

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?

When can I go home?

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?

Casablanka, Casa Picola, One Step up, KFC(Park street) (none of them are fast food place, all eating joints, restuarants)

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?

Vana (fuck, where did I come up with that?)

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...?

A hotshot fashion photographer. (I haven't yet given up on that dream)

12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?“

I don't drive 'cause I don't have a vehicle, but I'm a rash driver

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

Oh please.

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?

Romantic, if I'm at home

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?

Yet to own one

16. FAVORITE DRINK?

Cold coffee, Red bull, White wine, Banana split and Mango milk shake

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD .....

Keep in touch with people, who complain for me not being in touch with them

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?

I think, I do.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?

Purple, and not if I could, my hair IS purple, but visible only in light.

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.

Kolkata and now Bangalore

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Cricket, Baseball and soccer.

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.

Pretty girl and VERY photogenic (I would know)

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?

Nothing.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?

MYSELF.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?

Night all the way

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?

Sunny side up.

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?

My terrace and in the room.

28. FAVORITE PIE?

Clay pie. (yum!)


29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

Cholcate and mint.

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?

Who knows?


I tag Rich, Mandy and Sambit.

It's spinning all over again, I'm liking it. I don't want to get addicted, neither do I want to get off the ride, but at some point I know I'm going to end up feeling all giddy (sp?)

Let's do this one more time, shall we? ;)

On my weekly offs it is just nice to stay at home, I hate to go out, just lay back and do nothing concrete. Sleep (not much) talk with the favourite one (Rich) hog, watch movies, take a walk on the terrace, or just look down on people from the verandah, and when I do that, I feel like God, always do.

I smirk. ;)

Everyday, I become a Zombie or lets say, I space out for an hour and a half.

Wo! What a weekend. :) :)

Dangerously faster goes the spinning of my head
I'm left here with disaster from the things I left unsaid
Smitten and I'm awestruck at new things that Ive felt
Prone to more disaster as I fall down at your feet
Hollowed and I'm upset at the things not meant to be
I'm a burdened yet still burgeoning soul
Someday I might just find unbridled hope
Though thoughts stay kneeling at your rope
I cannot seem to climb though Ive tried before
My heart will only let me stay and write it all away
It keeps me under lock and key to reminiscing (sp?) yesterday

Personally everything is good, but sometimes people at work gets to me. They just won't understand the fact that they are being ignored, bloody wannabes.

I took Joe out to have Bengali food, he is one person we (Dini, Peri and I) miss the most at work. Miss having Dosa for breakfast with him, I hate to step into the Cafeteria without him.

Life's looking good once again, and I am getting or gotten over most stuff in life. Y thinks I am the most nonchalant person, he's ever come across, and I tell him, he hasn't seen much in life.

On a different note, how hard is it to sync music into an Ipod?
Dumb Fuckbags. :|

Today was excellent.

We've gotten a flat, and if everything goes according to the plan, we're going to start packing from Saturday, and move in by 1st March.

Glad that, the four of us can stay together, as planned randomly in Calcutta.

Time to go shopping. Rich and me. I love ya. :D

I miss Debo. :(

I think I'm extremely possessive about the people I love.

I hate her, I hate him and I hate another him. Lol.

Too much of bitching at work, and I'm frankly tired of it, sometimes, it's fun but other times, it's plain boring.

I couldn't go to work today, friends called up from work, bitching. Heights, I tell you.

Last Saturday partied after a long long time, went to Pecos, among four people we had six pitchers and two plates of Chilli Beef and Garlic Pork, then we went walking to Java city, where we all had the shitty cold coffee.

Laughed at RD and PS' look-alikes. Jesus, this City I tell you, is full of look-alikes. :D

It's a lovely weather here today. Shriku and I met again after almost four months, he's here to visit me, and will be here again in May.

He gave me a treat at KFC today and told me, it's his birthday tomorrow. How stupid of me, I didn't even know about it. :(

While sitting on the steps of PVR

SB: Trina, people love you a lot
Me: Yes? How do you know?
SB: They come to visit you from all over the place
Me: That's not true, some from Calcutta..
SB: and me?
Me: Okay okay, if this is what you call love, then love it is. *grin*

.. and it's a miracle.

After two weeks of slogging my ass off at work, I get to be, where I am.