I continue to observe.
Cats are affectionate and playful. These are probably the only two things, that's rubbed off on me. :)

Anyway, you will think the way you want to, I will think the way I want to, but that doesn't change the fact, and we are nowhere without our facts, and in this case, we both are wrong.

Shit happens, and it continues.. :)

What I need to do is fuck up so bad, that I can't save myself.

If emotion can create a physical action, then duplicating the physical action can re-create the emotion.

It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

Her- Let's go to Marks
Me- Okay, come.
Her- :| I meant 'marks
Me- This is Marks & Spencer *points upwards*
Her- STARMARKS. I can't believe you are so dumb.
Me- *makes a face* What work do you have there ?
Her- Books ?
Me- Which ones, now ?
Her- Diary.
Me- Journal ? :)
Her- *hands over the list*
Me- By Chuck Pal.... *stammers*
Her- Hehehehehe, Palahniuk.
Me- I still can't say it. *Embarrased* But, I want fight Club. :) :)

Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things- they save you.

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

Ah, today was fun. :)

Fuck that shit, Maybe you're my schizophrenic hallucination.

1.What time did you get up this morning?

Once at eight am, then eleven thirty.



2. How do you like your steak?

Juicy.



3. What was the 1st film you saw?

Don't remember.



4. What's your favorite TV show?

I don't watch anything on TV these days.



5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Rome/London/Prague/New Zealand.



7. What is your favorite cuisine?

Chinese and no second thoughts on that



8. What foods do you dislike?

Squid and Pork.



9. Favorite place to eat?

Peter Cat, One step up, Zaara, Mainland China, The wall, Haka's, Yo China, etc.



10. Favorite Dressing?

Any mayonnaise-based dressing, I guess.



11. What kind of car do you drive?

I don't have one.



12. What are your favorite clothes?

Casuals. Jeans, hoodie, tee, sweatshirt.



13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

Rome.



14. Cup 1/2 full or 1/2 empty?

Empty empty, always so much that's needed.



15. Where would you want to retire?

Too young to think about retiring.



16. Favorite time of Day?

Evening.



17. Where were you born?

Here, Calcutta.



18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Soccer.



19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

Nobody.



20. Person you think will tag you back first?

Nobody, again.



21. Who are you most curious about their responses?

Nobody, I don't care about the crowd.



22. Are you a bird Watcher?

Yes. ;)



23. Are you a morning or a night person?

Night.



24. Do you have any pets?

Four, at the moment.



25. Any New or exciting news you'd like to share?

Yes, maybe on Thursday night.



26. What did you want to be when you were little?

A restaurant owner and an Athlete.


27. What is your best childhood memory?

Throwing everything from the balcony, learning to play Cricket, dad making me a Cricket bat, daddy slapping me for the first and the last time, ever.



28. Are you a cat or dog person?

Both. Unbelieveable.



29. What color are your eyes?

They say, it's never black. So, Brown I guess.



30. Always wear your seat belt?

Yepp, all the time. :P



31. Been in a car accident?

No.



32. Any pet peeves?

Not here.



33. Favorite pizza toppings?

Cheese Calzone.



34. Favorite Flower?

Lily, I guess. Or Yellow Rose.



35. Favorite Ice Cream?

chocolate chip and mint.



36. Favorite Famous Food Restaurant?

Famous in what sense ? Mainland China ? :|



37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?

Not even once.I only took it once.



38. From whom did you get your last email?

Debb.



39. From which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

GAP.



40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

Yes.



41. Like your job?

Yes.



42. Broccoli?

Sure.



43. What was your favorite vacation?

Shantiniketan, '98.



44. Last Person you went to dinner with?

Debb.



45. What are you watching right now?

A song on Youtube.



46. Favorite color?

Black, Navy Blue, Purple, Green and Orange.



47. How many tattoos do you have?

Three.



48. Have you jumped out of a perfectly good airplane?

I wish. :(



49. Are you a good kisser?

No.



50. How tall are you?

5ft 2inches.

Because of the SL pressure, and so much of pressure for call targets and production hours, my leaves are not approved, been asked to take it in January/February.

There's shortage of people in HP, IPG floor !!
Why can't they hire new people ? Why do they have to get people from 6J and KV is beyond me. All this because they have been promised a new site in some international location ? Wasn't Japan enough ? :| Now, what China ? :X

How does it benefit US ? It does not.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leaned my lesson to never ignore a Scorpion. :| :@

Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer, maybe self-destruction is.

1. what are three ways to win your heart?

You can not win my heart, I am gone case.



2. do you like lightning?

Do I like lightning ? No, I don't.



3. have you ever cut someone else’s hair?

My cousin's. :)



4. last person you said ‘i hate you’ to?

Been a long time back, so of course I do not remember.



5. rain or sunshine?

Sunshine, always.



6. last stupid thing you said to anyone?

Your place or that place ? ;)



7. biggest turn off?

Not giving me my space.



8. fave movie?

The reader, Wicker Park, Fight club and 21 grams. :D



9. would you date someone who smokes?

Why the hell not ? :|



10. would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?

Sure thing, as long as he loves me, more that those drugs.



11. what’s your biggest turn on, physically?

Hair and smile.



12. would you have sex w. someone you weren’t dating?

Not presently, my views have changed.



13. have you ever missed someone and regretted breaking up with them?

No.



14. have you ever dated someone more than once?

Lol.



15. if you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be?

Mr. Cooper.





16. do you like cuddling?

Yeah, come here.



17. do you hold grudges?

Not for long, but yes I do.



18. do you regret dating anyone?

Nah.



19. hugger or kisser?

Hugger.



20. missing someone?

Not really.



21. most important lesson you’ve learned from your exes?

I keep learning from the present one, too.



22. are you happier single or in a relationship?

Depends.



23. how important are looks?

Looks are important initially, till I know the person. So to approach the person or be approached, yes looks are very important.



24. would you rather date someone who was SUPER-HOT or someone who was nice?

Hot, of course. Till I know you are not nice, and when I stop finding you nice, physical beauty won't matter, either. I'm already done with you by then. :)



25. do you stay friends w/ the people you’ve dated?

Again, depends.


26. would you fight over someone you wanted to be with?

Depends.



27. do you kiss on the 1st date?

No.



28. if someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?

Time is very important.



29. some random girl comes up to you and says “who the hell are you”? What do you say back?

"Who do you think I am ?"



30. are you spoiled?

No.



31. name three things you would not tolerate in a relationship?

Manipulation, intrusion about anything and no trust factor.



32. which one of your friends do you think would make a good prostitute?

Haha.



33. did you miss anyone today?

Not yet.



34. last person to see you cry?

Kundu and Debb.



35. Who/what made you cry?

Shite at work.



36. are you a forgiving person?

Yes, I try.



37. would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?

What was that, again ?



38. The last person who gave me a hug…

Sand.





39. are most of your friends guys or girls?

Girls. :\



40. how long does it take you to get ready to go out ?

Half an hour.



41. how many people do you know of named Adam ?

None.



42. are any of your friends cheerleaders ?

No.



43. what was the last thing you burnt ?

Cigarette



44. what is your full name?

What's in a name ?



45. do you straighten your hair every day?

I don't like straight hair.



46. do you worry about the size of your boobs?

When did this matter ?



47. did you ever cry during a romantic movie?

Sometimes.



48. what’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own?

Hoodie.



49. what color do you absolutely despise?

White.



50. have you ever stolen?

Yes.



51. have you set your hair on fire?

No.



52. do you wear sweat pants?

Yes



53.. do you know anyone who has lost their virginity?

WHAT ?



54. have you ever ran into a door because you didn’t see it?

Yepp, not recently though.



55. doesn’t 50 Cent suck?

Hell yeah.



56. do you like hugs and kisses(xoxo:))?

Hugs. :\



57. do you act gangster?

Yo, noway.



58. ever made a prank phone call?

Oh yes, those days !! :(



59.what bill do you hate paying most?

Every other bill. :@



60. where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?

Night before yesterday, it was sweet, not romantic in any sense.



61. what did you want to be when you were growing up?

Playboy (Boy). Owning a chain of restaurants. :)



62. favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl?

In this weather, have coffee, talk and watch a movie with a girl. *sings* 'I kissed a girl, I liked it.' :|



63. when did you first start feeling older?

I wish I did. It's time I do. But, I don't.



64. favorite guilty pleasure?

Retail therapy. :P



65. what famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?

Thinking...



66. what famous person would you like to date?

C'mon, he doesn't have to be famous. I will make him famous, he will be famous in my eyes. For my eyes, only. (Oh God, the corniness is getting to me)



67. what do you hate about your school?

Nothing.



68. last person whose bed you laid in besides your own?

Mom's. She sleeps with me anyway, on the days I don't work.



69. have you lost a friend recently?

Lost, in which way ?



70. ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?

Yes, oh yes. Such fun.



71. do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?

Yes !! :P :X :| :\ :@ Got it ?



72. is it easier to forgive, or to forget?

Forget, I guess.



73. do you give out second chances too easily?

Even third for that matter. Any takers ?



74. is your best friend pretty?

Best friend in my head or the real best friend ?



75. is it awkward when you run into your exes?

I killed them in my head.



76. have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

Maybe, school days.



77. can you make yourself cry?

Hell yeah.



78. is your life simple or complicated?

Complicated, and I like it.



79. are you easily confused?

I'm born confused.



80. are you taller than 5′4″?

No.


81. have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?

Everyone treats me like crap, so what ?



82. is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?

No. Far from it.



83. does everything really happen for a reason?

That's what they say, if you ask me, then I don't have a freakin' clue. *Blows smoke in the air*

Why do people have to fight, when I am in such a good mood ?
All this comes from being public in public places. Anyway, it's not about me, so why should I bother ?

A note to you- I don't know whether you read my blog or not.
Be subtle, please. I know this has a lot to do with age, but at least try. For my sake ? Okay, yours. :)

And, the truth is, I'm very quiet too when there's a phone conference, this is the first time, so it was different. Muah. :)

Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn't know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I'd owned
I threw it out the window; came along
Extreme ways I know will part the colors of my sea
perfect colored me.

Awesome, this is. The feeling I feel and I can almost see it rubbing off, on everyone. Is this how happiness spreads ? :)
I love you, everyone. :P

And you ? Of course. It's been a while, no ? ;)

Thank God, Heart is not where the Head is. :)

Let it last, my happiness. :D

How do I convince someone, I'm not in love anymore ?

Her- Just don't be around ?
Me- No, that can't happen. I'm always there. Even for strangers, come on. I'm weird. :( I want everything at the same time, and not want to get hurt too, is that even possible ?
Her- No, it's not.
Me- See, I have to let this person know, and I don't even want to be rude.
Her- Hahahahahahahahahaha, all the best. :)

Seven years, and all gone.
I deleted my Zilchh blog today, never thought I had it in me. Ah well, some surprise we have there. I don't feel those feelings anymore, heck I'm not even the same anymore.
No regrets.
Just how well all this is turning out to be.

She's in love. I know. Good for her. I wish her all the best. But, I'm not in love. I'm happy with myself, very happy in fact. 72 hours and continuing. It is 23 degrees today. :)

I think, it's time to try out something different. Maybe, green Apple soda, only with you. :)
Next week off, you and I and Prat.
Oh wait, we are to go out drinking next week, no movies. :) Now, in this five days, I need two days off, at least. Rakha and Kundu is back this week. Life is rocking. :P

And this is to you, Iris
I reached out. It worked, thank you so much. You don't read my blog or maybe you do, you made me believe. :)

And..
Some things are just the same, for everything else, there are replacements, and they are bloody easy to find. It is sad but true.
Shit happens, why worry ? ;)

Emotions, drama, broken hearts, and lies
And they say these were the best days of our lives ? :|

Shit happens, and then what ? You die. Thassit. You just die. And no body does anything or bothers to.
It's the way it is. Accept it, and move on.

My head is a lot clearer now. And, only because it's winter here now. I love the roddur so much. No, I don't like komla lebu all that much, but I like the juice. I still continue to hate Apple, and I always will. I hate Tomato juice too. Yuck.

Last evening was fun, we went for the movie, that stupid movie. Prateek was the only one watching the movie, Debb doesn't like Imran Khan, I don't like Deepika, so we kept talking and eating. Had Chocolate tart from Biscotti, then cold coffee and Pizza from Refuel, took pictures. :) She spotted Mango (store) and went crazy, said Mango is in Delhi too, I said I thought it was only in Bombay and now Calcutta, she said, I didn't know anything, I just shrugged to that.

After the movie, we went for a spin. Three people on one bike, went to Park street, had beer , dropped her to the Metro station and then came home.

But, Winter is here. And, it's fun. :D

I would rather spend two whole year grieving over lost love than get over in four months. I didn't get over it in four months but I did get over it in seven. It does not make me feel invincible or indomitable, it just makes me feel fickle and heartless.

Coffee overdose

I can't sleep anymore :(
Brain is so active, and it's not a good thing.


I need sleep. :(

Cats sleep for 16/18 hours a day. :|
No rub-offs yet. Sigh.

After Sand left, and Kundu is on a trip too, I thought I would never get the right people to gel with, at work.
But, we seemed to have formed a trio again at work. Debb, Prat and me. :)

The things we do, the redness on Prat's face, whenever Debb says something to me..

Being subtle is good, all this is becoming very evident, and it's not even an ego boost.

I went to work yesterday, and as soon as I saw Debb, I just wanted to run home.
We both had a purple tee on. She had this purple tee, and I had this brinjal-ish purple Ajile tee. People, of course though we planned this. All, I wanted to do was flee.
Then Suhasini walked in with the same color, and everyone in the team burst out laughing.

Now, I have a three day off, Debb has eight day exam leave.
We three are planning to meet tomorrow after her exam, planning to go for some stupid movie. Unstoppable or some shit. :( I miss the camera, this would have been fun, but it's in safe hands. :)

Her- Are you really this scared around, Scorpions ?
Me- I'm not scared. I'm just too fickle minded, or maybe too insane. But, why Scorpions, suddenly ?
Her- I'M A SCORPION.
Me- Oh yeah. *shiver*
Me- Okay, tell me, what are you really passionate about ?
Her- Mhmm, reading books ?
Me- The Arthur Dent, types ? Hitch hikersssssssssssssss. :|
Her- Hehe, The answer is, No.
Me- *Offers her a Munch*
Her- *Takes it, gives it to Prateek*
Me- What the fuck !! Why did you do that ? *looks hurt*
Her- I abhor chocolates.
Me- *starts singing* *Tinka tinkaaaaaa, zaaara zaara*
Her- Get off me. :|

Why do people have to be this lonely ? What's the point of it all ? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why ? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness ?
— Haruki Murakami (Sputnik Sweetheart)

My first Murakami, ever. :)

Not random, after all..

The 'bechara-ness' is getting to me. Have I gone too soft in the heart ? No, I was always soft. What the fuck. Why do certain accidents happen ? Chow and mine was fine, we turned out to be such good friends, despite the distance, despite the fact that I'm so bad keeping in touch, and now Sand, he's gone too, but with some people you just know, and it's always with guys, I know. I love this, either they want to be your friend or they do not, there is no in-betweens. :) I love you Sandy and Chow.

I need to deal with this alone. I need MY space.
Thank God, I have a three day leave, but I have the leave, exactly when she has her MCA exams. WTF.

I feel so bechara AGAIN. Jesus Christ, help me. :X :x :x :x :x
I don't want to break anyone's heart. I can't be roooood.

Not to M not to D. Not to you too, Joojoo. I love you Joojoo, I love the fact that I can talk to you about anything, and you always know, what I'm trying to say, you always get it, except for times when it concerns us, that's when you are Ms. Cy. My Cy. :)

Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who's in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It's like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven't seen in a long time.- Murakami.

Day burns down to night, burns the edge of my soul. In the night I break into sparks of suns, and become fires in a dust of bones. Night knifes, my breath swallows whole my tongue. Turn back, reverse return In the night. I see the real concealed in the day's bright lie, eyes stitched shut, white teeth smile, sleep walks and talks and feet mark time of day.

Okayokay, yes I did watch the English version of the movie in B'lore, but last night watched the Original Swedish one, I don't know which one I liked better.

After effects of the movie, go offline immediately, run up to the chaad, stay up there from 1am-5am, can't sleep, can't do anything, just smoking. How could I forget the stupid English movie and the effect it had on me. God, and now Meek. Fark.

I'm re downloding the English one, again. :|
Lack.

Connection. Found a friend in a friend. :) :)

I was about to board the metro last evening, when I texted Debb..
Me- 6:35 boarding the train
Debb- Have you boarded already ? (We texted each other at the same time)
After half an hour..
Me- In Girish park, where are you ?
Debb- I'm about to board
Me- Okay baby
After 10 min
Me- I'm in your station, Shyambazar.
No reply
After around five minutes..
Me- Debb, I have a weird feeling we might be on the same train.
Debb- Even, I think so
In Dumdum, I get off from the train..
I hear a voice..
Arrey tumi ? :O :)
Me- Why, YES.

At least, Zom and I used to plan trips, his is just a station before mine, so he would always stand in front of the last door, I would see him from the platform and then enter. But this ? Considering Jatin Das Park is FAR from Shyambazar, and it wasn't even planned.

They say, if you are with someone for too long, their attitude rubs off on you after a point and vica versa. I've had cats at home from the age of fourteen/fifteen, even less. They are SO nonchalant about everything around them, unless of course it concerns them.

So, my question is, when is that attitude going to rub off on me ? At some point also, even I don't care what happens to anyone, and I know when or after what that, point comes, but that takes time.

Is it why Murakami keeps writing about cats in ALL his books ?
Characteristics of a cat, from what I've seen.

Indifferent yet sensitive.
Confident.
Intuitive.
Lazy.
Aware of their surroundings.
Solitary yet very social.
Definitely NOT loyal.


I love it when they purr, drives me crazy. :) :)

Her: Who's the broken one now ?
Him: You are. Still you.
Her: What did you say ?
Him: Still you.

On our way back..
Sand- You were right. *smile*
Me- Ki byaparey ?
Sand- About her. She is not arrogant at all, and such a nice girl.
Me- Oh yes, she is, and such a nice and gullible person, too. She is my bacchha, literally, great kid.
Sand- Hmm
Me- Don't be jealous, Sand.
Sand- *again smile*

I really have a MAJOR thing for smile and laughter, sort of a fetish, I guess.

Kundu's boubhat, one of my oldest (closest) friend here at work, along with Sandy and we both are going to have fun, our standard line to him, 'Jockey porey biye korbi toh ?'

Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight?
There is no message we're receiving
Let me know is your heart still beating

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold..

He just watched me, as my tears fell.
And then he got up and came to me.

I'm going to make sure, I'm never going to involve myself emotionally with anyone anymore, unless I'm very sure, he loves me, more than I love him. You will say, then it is not love, if I'm going to plan so much. I will say, let it not be.

Let it not be.

Why ?

I should just plain stop using this word with people.

Did I tell you I love eating Lip Gloss ? Only eating. :P

Phew! Zeesh buzzed after two weeks and I apologized. He said, it's okay. Whatever, it is okay, means! :( :@

We five had a phone conference. Gossiped about every other person at work, TL/GL Manager, some girls and most guys. :(
Some guy talk that was. :)

21 Grams.
Inception.
Shattered Glass.
Antaheen.
The talented Mr. Ripley.
Killing words.
The social network.
All about Steve.
Valentine's day.
Aisha.

:)

The truth makes everything else, seem like a lie.

I lost Debb's rubber band and the clutch. Some reputation I have of losing people's stuff. Especially the shades. :@ :|

I can't wait for Wednesday, it's Kundu's Boubhat, this is going to be super fun. :) :)

I'm having Chocochip Ice-cream.

And, where are you Winter ? Where ? Please, you need to be here ASAP.

Bin tere
Bin tere
Bin tere
Koi khalish hai
Hawaon mein bin tere

Trial room shot

Take one. Very funny.

There's always words.. words.. so many words to choose from.

Meaningful words, pointless words and there are words that hurt.

Only words.

How does it feel when you walk into a mall and pay for a Hoodie Rs 3000 and the cashier hands you just Re 1 in return ? :| :@

My heart breaks. :( This is why I like plastic money.

Wtf expression !!

An attention seeker and show off by default.

That was SO direct, and I just laughed. :P

I love my hair in Winter.

It's the thought that counts, they say that.

You are always in my thoughts. I know it must be hard for you, but you chose this, we did. :)
It's simple, I miss you, this should sum up everything, I refrain from typing here. :D

God bless..

Black coffee is in, everything else is out.

I love you, San. Very very very much.

I need mental peace, I hope Sunday is an off.

I wish I were carrying the coupons last evening, I saw this lovely Adidas black Jacket at Shoppers' stop, I hope the jacket is there till my next off.

Everything changes. :'( :'(

Impromptus

After being in touch on and off, me losing interest as usual. He kept texting with a Hi every time, he'd be here in Cal. The usual happened today morning at 2:30, and as usual he thought I wouldn't reply, but I did, because my manager was irritating me and I was shit bored, and we planned to meet on Wednesday.

He asked me what I was up to, I said I'd be getting off from work in about half an hour or so, and then he was silent. After which he came up with the craziest idea of meeting at 4/5am for breakfast, right then. He thought I'd ditch, I would have, but I went anyway, and on meeting him, I made it clear to him that I met him ONLY because he came up with the craziest idea, something I'd come up with, but of course I never have the company. :|

Anyway, so Kundu and Debb looked for cab at 4:30am told me to enjoy myself and I left. We planned to meet in Azad hind (I can't help it, this is Calcutta, nothing opens before eight, not even Barista) and for the first time at 5am, it was closed. We walked for quite a while, talking about comics, movies, people, Law, craziest ideas, etc, reached Maddox square took a right, reached Basement,(told me a couple of things about Basement which of course I did not know, I told him the place sucked) took another left, he showed me the place he used to go for his Math tuition, and took me to this Ajanta Dhaba for tea and smokes (Chai Sutta), and I have to say this, but the tea was out of this bloody world, and this is coming from someone who loves Coffee more than anything, he made me listen to some crazy shit which I took from his phone via Bluetooth, jabbered away to glory, told me a lot about Bombay.

He said if I were planning to stay in Bombay for only two days, it's better we are in "town." Places like Colaba, Marine drive, Nariman point, anything beyond Churchgate, asked me to visit Leopold cafe (I said I read up already) and Cafe M (I forget the name), and asked me to do a lot of street shopping, apparently you get the weirdest stuff there. Told me about this place in Calcutta, called Plush, I think, where on Wednesdays you pay 1k and you can booze all you want, asked him to find out a couple of things about that place. And right now, as I was looking him up, I just found out, who his brother was. :| Bloody Calcutta, and it was the first time I met him today, after 4/5 years of knowing him. But, it's been a great day and tomorrow my manager is taking the entire team out for dinner. :) :) :)

Okay, I still don't like RHS, he has changed. :| Can't be helped, shit happens.

LDR. Long distance relationship.

Sigh. :|

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again,
here I go again, here I go.

Shit, thaanda porchey, and abar paa'er tolaye oi betha'ta shuru hoye gechey. :(
I miss someone pressing my leg. :|

How you almost knew everything about me, and now I have to literally explain things to people. The comfort of nobody knowing me feels rather nice, there is always a but. :'(

Red Xpress, I didn't know is a chain of Red hot chilli peppers. :) And, it's just next door to my office, maybe some time this week we will plan a trip there, and Debb is joining work today. :)

And that is how he left, just a phone call and Goodbye.
I appreciate that, weird.
Don't know/can't tell, whether I am ever going to see him or not. But I know, silence from my side is not misunderstood, for once. :)
You will always be in my heart.

Why do I have this thing ?
How can I feel so much of pain for a bloody stranger ? Why or how can I cry at that person's pain ? How is it even remotely possible ? How, just how ? :| :| :X

Very good. :| :| :| :| :| :|

:( :'(
I read the blog. Can't be helped. I've been in that place too many times, there have been moments, when I have cried the whole night away, without letting the person next to me, know. :( :(

On the work front, everyone's been bitching about RHS. Today morning we were. Alvin, Rahul, Bharat, Supratim and I. After, I have shifted back things have taken a turn for the worse, I mean it doesn't bother me, but it's irritating to see our team perform so good, and there is not one bit of acknowledgement. :| None of these bother me, I sit right at the end, do my own stuff and get out. Three more months, 90 days. For Eighteen months, just apply for IPP or IJP, hopefully get through and just leave for the next level, whatever that is.

And, I should really stop eating chocolates. No really. :|

Raj called to congratulate me, and then it pissed me off that he couldn't hear a word, I was saying, my phone sucks, period. :( I miss him, three more weeks, before I see him I guess, his father is very ill.

And now, Munni just woke me up, I had crashed due to the terrible migraine, she was at the Delhi Airport, boarding the flight to come back home. :)

I just had khejoor and Aam shottor'er chaatnee. :P

Emotional escape. :'(


You tell yourself: I'll be gone
To some other land, some other sea,
to a city lovelier far than this
Could ever have been or hoped to be—
Where every step now tightens the noose:
A heart in a body buried and out of use;
How long, how long must I be here
Confined among these dreary purlieus
Of the common mind? Wherever now I look
Black ruins of my life rise into view.
So many years have I been here
Spending and squandering and nothing gained.

Mama, I love you. :)

:) :) :) :) :) :)

D.H. Lawrence
Jane Austen
Thomas Hardy
Louisa May Alcott
Murakami
Issac Asimov
Beckett
Emily Bronte
Tom Clancy
Mary Higgins Clark
Doyle
Yeats
H.G. Wells
Virginia Woolf
Plath

Munni called in the morning, I couldn't wake up. Stupid STD code, I thought it was Vodafone. :|

I'm so ill. :( I feel so cold, going to work in the evening's. Bypass'e ki thanda laagey, but it's not yet time for the woolens. ;)
I got a new HP retractor and five Bournevilles, I really earned it, it was fun at work last night.

Stocking up movies for next three days.

Now, we are experiencing the Bangalore climate here, lovely. :P

Okay, I have a runny nose, all thanks to Debb and Kundu, at 3am they got me down from tower four to "hang out" with them, and it was so windy then. Debb is probably going to reach Amritsar at around 2pm. :)

I woke up a while back, and felt so cold. Just took a bath with hot water, warm water. :| God, why am I so delicate ? :@

I think I should stay in bed, today. But, I can't, work is going so good, plus Bharat challenged me this week, so I can't bunk. But Rakha was happy to see the healthy competition at work, all's good. I want mummy, you and syrup. :( :'(

OH MY GOD !!
I HAVE FOUND THE MOST AMAZING GIFT. I CAN'T WAIT. *jumping up and down*

JESUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CHRISTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

I COULD BUY IT LIKE RIGHT NOW. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK !!

I'M JUST SO ........

*GRABS FOR THE PHONE TO CALL SOMEBODY* realization *there is nobody* :(

BUT, THIS IS THE SAME BRAND SHE WANTED FOUR MONTHS BACK. I CAN'T WAIT. I CAN'T WAIT. I CAN'T WAIT.

I WANTED SOMETHING EXACTLY LIKE THIS. I SPOT, AND IT'S MINE, AND I WANT IT. AND I HAVE IT, AND I GOT IT.

I WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. I GETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

Phew ?

Two

Two months.
I want to give her something, she really liked, but she doesn't remember, now.

Digg.

Forty seven comments on that one picture and we couldn't stop laughing, I agree I was just woken up with a phone call, which was extremely rude, but yes SIP is another story, another world all together.

I liked today's dinner, it was simple. SO, I got a 12.5k, Shoppers Stop gift voucher, wtf. :X :X What am I going to do with that ? :X :X No, I don't want gift voucher. :X I want a phone, and I'm pissed off.

Moreover, Debb is leaving for Delhi/Amritsar tomorrow, and she won't be back till 8th. We came to the conclusion that her boyfriend is a mama's boy, but the good thing is, she is going to stay with him and his family. :D

We went to Mochi yesterday, to buy shoes. :|

And, on a differnt note, this friend is diplomatic, it almost brings me to tears, I know why he is doing it, he knows why he is doing it, he's told me every god damn thing when we met, yet I can't spit out a thing, it's sad and funny, but extremely sad. But, it's not my thing to look out, as long as it brings a smile to someone else's face. He is the kind, who likes to see everyone smiling and likes to do anything to help, I just hope the person in question, not the friend, but someone else, doesn't get hurt, AGAIN. God bless.

One more hour to go jogging. What do I do now ? Wiki time ? :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Can I demand some nice food in Halloween ? Treat ? Heh.

Happy endings.
Frost Nixon.
Pour elle.
Forever, strong.
The virgin suicides.
I love you, Phillip Morris.
Frida.
Chungking express.
Duma.

I've found this somewhere..

Have you ever considered that one of your friends were to leave you, right now ? You never hear their voice or smell their scent or feel their touch ever again. They are gone forever. When you loose someone you change. Whether you know it or not, removing that person from your life removes their personal attributes that you have adapted into your own personality.

You forget. - I don't want to, ever. But, I do, too soon. I guess, I'm blessed ? Helps me to move on, but very slowly.

Burning Bridges..

Drift. I heard someone say long back, a stranger, 'Coincidences don't happen, connections do.' It used to be my status message, also. :D

A lot changed in two weeks, I don't do the things, I used to. I rarely talk, and laughter ? It's never been my emotion, I like laughing with people, I hit off instantly, like a house on fire. It's been so long, since I have met someone like that.

My TL blamed Debb the other day for 'corrupting me,' he said to her, when I first came to his team, I was really quiet, and now I don't listen to him or anyone anymore. Poor fella, I say, the stuff I get to blackmail him for. :(

And, I think she has a hand fetish, I won't know till I ask.


Nobody cares about me, this I know, but the fact that YOU don't, makes me lonely. Damn lonely. We didn't have to get this close, it wasn't necessary, it is all my fault. I don't know what I was looking for, but whatever it was, I definitely never seemed to achieve that. So what, if I liked a couple of girls, and loved you ? So what ? Nothing. All, I ever needed was, not commitment, not money, not gifts, just some emotional help, and I got burned over and over again.

Ashes..

Rush...

Oh Jesus, I am so kicked about this. I've already checked out trains, timings, days they run, what time to board and get off, how many stations in between, the fare for the sleeper class and the AC (travel in December) it's going to freeze ! Do, we really need AC, do I really need AC, I will die there and never get to see Katatonia Live in Bombay on the 21st December'10.

Yes, that is exactly the reason why I, we, are are going to travel to Bombay on the 19th of December (board the train, that is)
Date- 19th December'10
Time to board- 22:55pm (Day 1)
We get off on Day 3 (the day itself) early morning at 5:45 (if the train is not running late).
Concert day- 21st December.
Board to be back- I think, I will have to fly back (need to consult, another K lover)

..and Seal keeps saying 'Lol' every time I say 'Thank you,' because I've never thanked her, ever. Sounds so weird. :|

So much I want to ask you
you have no time to let me do so
there is no light in my pathway
you must tell me where to go.

Sigh.

I got the best agent of the Quarter. :) :) Yay !!
Kickeddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd !!


Today is going to be boring, very boring. But, I will survive and on Saturday, when I get the $1000, then I shall show off.
$500 coupon and $500 cash. :P Some achievement, I have there.

My manager caught me today morning, and asked me what my interests were, at first I did not get him, then he asked me, why on Earth would I want to spend 13 hours at work, when Sand and Souvik weren't there, I just told him, things have changed, and then came my above surprise.

I can't wait to get to office, and log in to SIP tonight, it sucks, but I would have to make do with it, today. Why am I not given too many options ? :|

I miss you, Debb.

I have a thing for double letters in the end, but just some, 'P' definitely, like 'Yepp.' Not 'H' not Zilchh. ;)

RIP. Mrs. Mukherjee.

My favorite English teacher is no more. :'( :'(

I can NEVER forget her reading Shakespeare aloud to us or even Pride n Prejudice for that matter.

Thank you for everything. :)


I wish for you not to weep, nor cry a tear for I am fast asleep, I have gone to a different plane- A little different, but yet the same.It seems of something I have dreamed before- I can finally see ,I'm walking through the door.It is the sweetest there ever could be, please dry your eyes and be happy for me!

I bought such a lovely gift for D's belated, on the other hand I'm glad that Sand is just beginning to talk/get along with D, and Kundu treats D exactly the way, he would treat Resh. :) Super happy.


Amar kaan bondho hoye gechey, now that makes me realize, onek onek din por, kaan bondho holo. :( :(
And, now I am officially broke.

This Thursday even though, it's going to be a bit boring, I will have to be very careful. Thursday and Saturday. :)

Off to D's belated party.
Why do two people I like most, stay in North Calcutta ? Jesus, why ?!!!! :|


I don't mean to boast (I already am), I love the way my hair is growing. :)

Ever thought of reaching out ?

Shit, this is so NOT done.
Bitching about me to MY friends ?? :O :O

My dear "friend." *nods head*

Chocolate overdose :)

So, we went out for an hour over to Oven Fresh for Brunch and then to Affaires Chocolate for something sweet, and were having a good time, bumped into some old people, Godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd, I hate being superficial and having to do small talk and I don't even have the ability to walk out also. :|

This started with a trip to South City yesterday, been bumping into people, I'm not really interested in. :| :|

Super Sunday :)

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case.

Insensitive people. :|

Dhur, every time I want to sleep, someone or the other is at the door, I'm sick stoned, and all I want to do is just sleep, but these people do not understand. Why can't my dear mother be at home, when I need her to open the door for "people."

Argh. Ghum paachey, and what a lovely weather here, I want to go up to the chaad, smoke up, come back and crash.
And, I'm craving Jägerbomb (Turbojäger) like NOW, maybe in the evening, maybe, if I am not too sleepy.

And Maggie isn't a bad singer after all, I'm impressed, again.




I know I have lost it and that my Chaablemo's become a bit of a problem, but just lookey.

I had Keema and luchhi for dinner. :P Yum.


Reading someone's status just reminded me, where the hell is the Royal Air Mail gaaaaari ? :X :X :X :X :X :X :X :X :X :X :X :X :X Getting too much, mahn.

Was so stoned in the morning, but Brunch at the French loaf was good. :)
Caught up on Bangalore times. :D

Winter's almost here, not really, but that, and I am beginning to have good hair days once again. :D Super happpppppppppppppppppppppy.

It's Lakhsmi pujo. And I just had Shinnni. But, I hate raisins, that way I can ever tolerate Apples, but Raisin ? No bloody way.

And after everything, now the "Approach" matters, and of course my mood, whenever that is going to happen.

Ghum peye gelo.

Apparently I was spotted on the road, the moment, I was about to doze off, the phone rang, now I hate phone calls because my phone is really screwed.

Him: Dude, I saw you.
Me: Okay okay yeah, where but ? (I still don't know who it is, and I hate to admit that)
Him: With your girl, photoshooting.
Me: What ? Oh oh oh, she is an old friend. :| But who are you ? (finally, the courage)
Him: You don't recognize me, because we have not spoken in two years ?
Me: Name. (And my classic line, follows) Why didn't you come up and talk ?
Him: You were crossing the road, and I can't hear you well.
Me: Okay, you are... Mr... ?
Him: .....
Me: :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O *speechless*
Him: Hehheheh, you have lost some weight.
Me: Some, sure.
Him: What're you doing tomorrow ?
Me: Nothing, I guess, you tell me
Him: Hehehehhehe, should we meet up ?
Me: You are on. :P

Yay !! It's my favorite day. :)

Ah well, so we did land up in Xrong place, I loved the setup and the fact that they actually have a smoking booth inside the place, I entered and they were playing shitty hindi tracks, ordered for Coffee Cabana, they did not have 'milk,' wtf dude. :| So settled for Carlsberg and she had Bacardi white rum and soda, the best part of it was the endless refills of chips/cheesling, we did not need to ask, and then the music happened, they played Travis, Coldplay, Train, Matchbox20, Potf (what else did I need ?)Autograph was not bad, but they stretched the end, and I was disappointed by the ending, too many panpanani songs, all good. :)

It's weird how the beginning of the month passesby by shopping online, midmonth or the end, goes pub/restaurant hopping. My life.

We have decided next month, one pair of Green Converse for her, red for me and Micromax X600, touch screen. :P

she doesn't look like the way she did four years back (who does?), even though her "good looks" never appealed to the type I liked.

And there's this picture, which I absolutely love, and she holds her smoke just like Rich did, and she even has a ring. :P

She's let go of her self completely, at least the way it seems in the photographs.

I want to dedicate a song to this stranger... but that I shall keep for later.


And, I feel like watching Wicker Park once again, after I watched Lisa.

Lisa. That name and that face.

I am so at peace now. Took me ages, I've had the best sleep, ever.

Last night's phone conversation and revealations.

Her: Trinuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Me: Hi, you changed your number ?
(after a lot of catching up)
Her: So, you did bitch after all ?
Me: Who, me ? Bitch, about you ? Haha, sure. What did you hear ? Boy, you know I am the king of tact, you knew it.
Her: Stuff.
Her again: I've checked your friend's list, how do you know her ? :O
Me: Well, I know her though someone, and it was just by accident. ;)


And a very useful lesson I learned last evening, never to mix your friends. Never. My friends from the past always maintainted that, and it used to irritate the hell out of me, but it was good that way. I messed it up every way possible, but not anymore, since this world is getting smaller everyday, I am not going to be the one mixing friends, enough, and getting the blame later. :P


Everything fades away, come turning of the tide.

Pech.. Pech.. Pechoooooooooooooo. :| :|

Pecho's gone officially overboard with her cousin's, after watching 'Happy endings' last night, all she can do is just trip on Billy Joel's voice and ask the cute chink DJ at the pub to keep playing his numbers.

Last night was wild, mixed drinks made me go SO wild, Mexican wine and then Tequilla, what a deadly combination !! Even though I hate Rumballs, all I seem to be having is that, and the best part is the English breakfast. Chom chom chom. :P

And, I'm still upset with Jim, he says we need to wait for another week.
I've checked out this sexy Micromax touch screen phone, within my budget, so I shall be buying that, I have stopped receiving calls the phone is no good at all anymore, it fell from my hands last night, again. :( :(

Everyone seem to be talking about Autograph, I want to watch it, but... :( :( Maybe, when I return.

Much love to everyone. :) :) :)

Off for a while now.

I hope to see the tee reach it's destination when I am back, that reminds me, I must mail Jim before I leave.

And world is such a small place once again, Jesus.
And marriage in Jan ? Great. :D :D
I'm happy, but I do not care, too bad. *shrugs*

Pandorum.
Amelie.
The haunting in Connecticut.
Jennifer's body.
Sunshine cleaning.
Harry Brown.
Le fille sur le pont.
Der untergang.
The ghost writer.

And, it's Shondeeeeeeep's birthday today. :P

With being so accident prone since Shashti, hope I fall from a hill and just die, instantly, in a very weird mood today, always like this when I leave this town, and when it's time to be back, I'd detest that, too.

Why are the comments hidden ? WTF. :X

Dublin was killing last night. :| Sloshed out of my mind. Mother is very angry, been hardly at home and with the bonus in the account, a trip to the chink land is going to be so much of fun, at 13:40 hours tomorrow.

Seven people I barely know, see them everyday but this is different. And whenever I am with him, I always feel one good turn deserves another. :)

Got back in touch with ORC at Dublin last night after 9 years ? And bumped into ASR after '97, fark. Whatjoy !! :P

And my mother is not aware of the trip, she thinks I am going to spend days at a friend's, thankgod, Chink land won't cost me extra money on phone calls, all local call. :D

Off to Cal Club.

Her: You are disoriented
Me: Deranged, you mean ?
Her: No, I said whatever I had to.
Me: Gah, there you go again.


And then, A near death experience and a very happy blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Yesterday, I realized, I am the sort who just cares about her own need. The fortunate ones can go to hell or stay here.

Fuck the free world.

Awwwwwwwww

I hope you are enjoying as much I did, in that city. :)
You will never ever know about this, RP.

Five bikes and a swift.

Whattanevening/night. Wow. Learned to ride, fell off on the road giggling, dhaba food. Stoned, blurry images, hangover. Burns. Spicy chicken pizza, ice cream, Kolaghat. Lassi. Truffle. Smelly lorry, the glares, stupid Punjabi songs. I'm never going to forget last night.


Spin, spin. Drunk. Hands. Douglas Adams. :| Hitchhikers. Dent. Speed. Pillow fights, Gel. The color Blue.

It's funny, how you connect and then you disconnect.
:| Is that what Mr. Adams say ?
You are incorrigible, goodbye.
Yeah, Goodnight.


And I say to myself, now I know why I am back in my old team. Mr. Kaushik Ghosh, had to do this to me, unknowingly. :| :|
I miss you RP, you were really my lucky charm, where everybody's performance went down, you made me see things, and made me a topper, for once in my life.

Ooooooh !! :)

For all the times you were there and not.




It's not the shadows by the red lights,
that makes my skin crawl at night,
it's your quiet heart and your silence..

Rushed out of San's place, :( almost stood up a friend from work.
Went to South City Coffee World, and D was there, munching something and reading a book, Life Begins at Five Hundred and Fifty by Mr. Adams, I made a face.

She looked up, almost looked through me, and was about to say something very rude, but all she said was, you are very late, I started to make excuses, when she asked me what I was about to order, I didn't know what was on the menu, after ten minutes, I decided on, Waffles and Brownie coffee Frappe (Argh, why can't I try something new for a change ?), and she settled for, I don't remember, I only remember the Cappuccino (sp ?) and some apple muffin or something. Yikes, another Apple lover. What's wrong with the world ?

We hung out, outside the mall for a bit, and now I am home, need to crash, busy evening, work and other things too.

And I am beginning to fall for Clefts again. Sigh.

Arriveth !!

It just saddens me to think, how alone I was last year in Pujo. Not even a soul not one, not even mom was there by my side, and I was in the hearts of too people who kept thinking about me. *rolls eye* But, the good thing is, time flies.
And, I won't let that get me down, no more nostalgia for me anymore, weird most things I can not feel anymore. I have to grow and keep moving. Super bowl and some Chink food (Chinese) will cheer me up in a bit, hopefully.

And, the Zippo arrived today.

Tada.

They say, if only looks could kill, but looks do take your breath away, isn't it all the same ?

Death.
Kill.