They say, if only looks could kill, but looks do take your breath away, isn't it all the same ?

Death.
Kill.

Macaroni with keema, my childhood (boarding days) favorite dish, washed it down with JC. :D Yum. Now off to bed, goodnight.

There is nothing that really lasts. And I am no exception in here, either.

Her: r u in touch wid him?
7:32 AM i was watchin parts of 3 idiots
me: touch maaney, i texted him on his Birthday
Her: saw AI
n thot of him
me: ah :)
Her: oh ok
me: yes, i do think of him, now and then
Her: i hvnt in real long
jus saw it
n yea
7:33 AM sei
koto lok chilo
me: hmm
Her: ekhon they r nt even in d fringes of life
me: seriously man
koto lok, just koto lok
Her: yeas
SC
me: so true
Her: RD
me: hahaha
Her: aar ke jano
MM
me: seriously
Her: hajar hajar lok
7:34 AM me: sotti, jader naam'o money neiu
Her: yea
i am havin trouble recollecting
me: and aaro thakbey naa, joto din jaabey
i guess, it happens this way only
Her: ya
jus few ppl stay
like u
me: seriously, now that you mention, even i cannot recollect
Her: BP
me: yepp
7:35 AM Her: sei
AP
SS like once a yr, same with RP
7:37 AM me: yes
Her: sei

And of course, my cousin gave me a logical explanation of everything on Saturday, after he came over, now I know what went wrong, how and even why.

Damn, I am tripping on Aas pass khuda.

Weekend for me this time around, was happening. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Oh, technically Green/Orange on Black is supposed to be MY color, even though I don't wear 'em.

..That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed..

- I love Chipsie

Dear God, why did I not know that GAP had an Indian online shopping store ? :|

And online shopping is SO fucking addictive. :P


Oh, and I really want those 'Down puffer jackets.'

It drizzled today morning but that did not stop me from going Jogging. :D

Here:

El pasado.
What's your rashee ?
Pretty persuasion.
State of play.
Power blue.
The island.
The Jane Austen book club.
Micheal Clayton.
Kontroll.

Craving...

Still craving Daiquiri. But now I know where they serve it, even if the place sucks.
Mezze. ;)

Today's the day when I can say, I'm perfectly capable of spending the rest of my life alone. :)

I'm the girl, who cannot be anybody's. :D

Yay !!
My first online clothes shopping. :D

Learning to drive. Not me.

Xs.

Do I ever get tired or what ? :|

Chinese, Chinese and more Chinese. Wow. It never ends, does it ? Lunch, dinner and whatnot, and I am never ever disappointed. Serve more, endless.

I'm very curious, about Chinese breakfast, now.
Must Google. :)

I must have been a chink in my last birth, nowonder I looked so chinky when I was a kid or those growing up days, yuck how much I hated the fact that, whenever I would smile/grin, I resembled a chink. :| :|

But the point is, Chinese food. And whenever I look at an old Chinese man, I can't help but wonder how kinky he must be, blah Idontknow. :|

There are times, I feel so much, and all, I can say is, 'I love you ?' Am I lost or something, am I tripping on something or what ?
What is it ? After that day, I can't say much, and it's been a fortnight or something ?

Does truth actually hurt so much, is it supposed to be this way ?
Whatever happened ?


But my dreams, they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free.

Yay !!

At 1pm, I was standing by the window, when I first felt the winter breeze, first chill in the air amidst, frosty moments would soon be here.

Mind you at 1 Pm, and it was so sunny. :)

And all we have to do is, strike a match.

Why are good times only shown in the photographs ?

What happens to the rest ?

So, the things I actually ended up doing.

Cleaned shoes
Cleaned the laces
Bought three bottles of water, dainty stomach
Charged laptop the whole day
Charged phone
Charged the camera, couldn't find extra batteries
Calls were made to me, so I didn't need to initiate anything
Took the online certification
Had medcines
Instead of the evening walk, walked my dogs
Didn't eat junk
Ironed my clothes
Watched the first episode and of How I met your mother and was utterly disappointed, what was funny again, or maybe it's just me ? :\

Now

Cut my nails
Bathe the dogs
Listen to 'Late goodbye.'
Go up to the terrace and smoke, been more than two weeks
Download Desperate housewives season 2
Wait for my engineer's kickback (feedback)
Log into SIP and wait and wait and wait
Go to bed and think about all the things I could have done to change my life, but did not, the choices I should have made, but did not and then sleep.

Heartbreak in my head

Things, I must do today

Clean shoes
Clean laces
Pack
Buy 3 bottles of mineral water
Charge the laptop properly, so the battery doesn't run out, while I am watching movies
Charge phone
Charge camera too, carry extra batteries
Make a phone call or text, given the condition of my phone
Thank friends, and give them return gifts
Take the online certification
Read
Have medicines
Go out for an evening walk
Don't eat junk
Shampoo hair
Cut hair
Buy something, think later, smile for now
Iron my clothes
Start watching the first season of How I met your mother

Ugleeeeeeeeeeeeeee aaaatraaaaaaaackteeeeeeev

Mirror still says, I have not put on weight even after munching so much, so this. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Oh, I'm having Cookies now. Coffee flavored, I love !!

Still at it

Time for some midnight snack. :P
Pringles, coke and Munch. God, kill me.

But, on a serious note. I think, I am missing the big picture here, really.

Everyone knows something, that I don't.
And she knew it, too.

That mail in '07, where have I hidden it ? Need to dig, dig deeper. Point is, I have forgotten a lot of things, or maybe let a lot of things slide ?

Sometimes, I feel so Ordinary. So much of Jealousy and all that. I need to let it all go, but for that, I have to stop caring, something she had said to me on 28th July'09.
I'm definitely getting there, because now I have control over things, not over anyone, but over things. :D

Still munching..

..Kala Jamun. Jeez !!

Anyway, after a week working from home, have I decided tonight, that I will be online. Downloading How I met your mother, Season 1. Wondering why people are suddenly calling me, worked for straight five hours finished tomorrow's work. :)
I'm up and ahead.

The movies, I've watched in the past week, when I did not have this sort of work.
New York, I love you.
The kite runner.
The great Buck Howard.
The hours.
The echo.
Elizabethtown.
Heathers.
Playing by heart.
Marley and me.

Well, it's one of those days.
Anyway, I should get back to my work.
:)


God, I'm still munching, been eating so much since yesterday. Cold Pizza, cake, beer, ice cream, still cold pizza, custard, paneer makhani and roti and Munch. I love you Munch, I know you will never never leave me. Just what exactly are you made of ? CHOCOLATE. YUM !! :P

It's a Friday !! ;)

Off to Cuz's in a bit. Party. :P


I need sleep. Two hours ain't doing me any good, neither is the jog anymore, neither is the long hair.

Two

When everything was bloody farce, why bother now ?

My stupid internet connection. It sucks. And when I actually have work, now. Not that being online would actually help, but engineers, blah.
Written my first technical article. I hope it is approved by those chomu and demanding engineers.

Review.


Me: Aacha, ektu help korbey ?
ASG: Parchi na, jaa paar tai kor, tui aakhon "porer dhon."
Me: :| Porer ki ? Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee, ami more jabo.
RS: Please don't help her, she won't be needing our help, anymore.

Me: Pleassssssssssssse, okay I am going home.

You know, You're always trying to break up with me, and we're not even together.



Happy birthday. SB. :)

So, something is seriously wrong with my body, I have been sleeping for the past 48 hours, couldn't make it to work last night. New TL called early morning to wake me up, she asked me to report to work, (now this is why I hate working under any girl, way too fussy for my liking, I absolutely deteste it), so off, I went to work, and for what ?
A stupid and silly good news.

Two technical escalations, I had to take, to speak to someone in Boise, Idaho, and then they asked me for some sample work. So, I shall be writing technical articles for HP for the next two weeks. :) :) And, if it is approved, then there is no looking back.

Then at 8am, we three were there on the floor fooling around, Kundu, Sand and I decided to go to 24hour CCD for breakfast, how I love sector V, for this. Everything is open 24/7/365. I had Smoked chicken sandwich, Devils' own and Chocolate fantasy with Ice cream, got a drop home.

And, I bought my cab driver an Ad gel pen, too. Good deed for the day.

So, Friday being my off, I will have "special privilege," of all sort.

What is your best friend's Mom's name?



Why ?







Where is the weirdest place you have a mole?



Silly question. And I am not answering that.







Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?



I don't remember, now.







Have you ever made out in a movie theater?



I don't think so.







What body part do you wash first?



Face, always the face.











Do you have any piercings ?



Ears and eyebrow.











What's the strangest talent you have?



Extremely fussy.







Do you have an innie or an outtie?



Innie.







What's your favorite flavored Pringles?



Sour cream and onion.







Have you ever been tied up?



Yes.











What was the last thing you ever got grounded for?



Strangest desires/demands.







Do you parallel park or drive around the block?



I don't have a car, but it'd be drive around the block.







Have you ever had two dates in one night?



No.







How many times have you been cussed out?



Too many times.







Which shoe do you put on first?



There's no pattern really. But, I think it's the left.







How old are you?



27.







Have you ever been to a gay bar?



No.







Is there one thing all of your ex's have had in common?



What ex ?







Did you french kiss before you were 16?



No.







Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?



:|







Who is the last person you think about before you fall asleep?



Depends, really.







Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you?



No one loves me enough. Maybe it was the former, now I don't even remember anymore.







Have you ever found anything gross in your parent's bedroom?



No.







What was your childhood nickname?



Ricky/Pecho.







When is the last time you played the air guitar?



Air guitar ? Heh, like all the time ?







Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room?



No.







What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?



It's not really weird, when I was learning to drive, I went to back the car without looking through the rear view mirror, and I banged the car that was parked at the back and ran away, that was then. :P







Have you ever bitten your toenails?



Yepp.







How do you normally eat your cookies?



Nibble a lil.







When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt?



I don't do gym.







Name something you do when you're alone?



Talk to myself, been doing it forever.







How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?



Depends, totally.







Have you ever sniffed an animal's butt?



My dogs are not that kinky, unfortunately.







How often do you clean out your ears?



From time to time.







Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper?



Fold. Always fold. Now of course, I don't use one.







About how many times a day do you pick a wedgie?



Let me Google this.







Do you have any strange phobias?



Homophobia ? Considering I am not, but I still remain homophobic. Eew.







Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?



My fingers, all the time, and it is foreign to my small nose.







What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar?



Gotten drunk. Stupid enough ?







Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted?



All the effing time. Tell me about it.







Have you ever called your bf/gf by another girl/guys name?



Yepp.







Have you ever gotten caught farting while on a date?



Not on a date.







Have you ever played naked twister?



Er..







Have you ever been drunk at work?



Nah.







Have you ever found your gf/bf's sibling more attractive?



Yes.







Do you want to bring sexy back?



I could try, but nah.

Slept the entire day. Sheesh.

Was awake for an hour to read a book, then dozed off. Feel so drugged, the only good thing is.. I'm kinda liking some songs again. New songs. :\



I got wiring loose inside my head
I got books that I never, ever read
I got secrets in my garden shed
I got a scar where all my urges bled
I got people underneath my bed
I got a place where all my dreams are dead
Swim with me into your blackest eyes.

Once their ways were parted. Now they seek each other again.

Stolen

1. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?

Naik.


2. Were you happy when you woke up today?

I have not yet slept.



3. What’s something that can always make you feel better? When did you need it last?

Words. :|



4. What are you excited for?

Getting a new phone.



5. What were you doing yesterday?

Went to work, was treated to Garlic bread, Pizza, Truffle and Coke.



6. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?

After Eight.



7. Have a best friend(s)?

Yes.


8. Are you scared to fall in love?

I guess so.



9. Do you think teenagers can be in love?

I guess, they do.



10. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?

*shrugs* who cares ?



11.What do you want right now?

To read a lovely book, curled up in bed with a mug of coffee.



12. Who was the last person you took a picture with?

San.



13. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?

Perpetually confused and heartbroken. :)



14. When was the last time you cried?

13th and 14th September.



15. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

No, blah.



16. Do you find it hard to trust others?

Depends, I would like to say I am learning, when in reality, I am not. King of Fools.



17. I bet you miss somebody right now..

No.



18. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?

Yes, other than the fact, that I am shivering and it's raining outside. :D



19. Tell me what's on your mind.

Blackest eyes.



20. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?

Growing.



21. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?

Hell yeah.



22. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?

I don't remember.



23. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?

Yes.



24. How's your heart?


It's taking over me.




25. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?

:| Tell me about it.



26. Do you think somebody's in love with you?

Never.



27. What are you planning on doing after this?

Listen to a song, go back on my After Eight.



28. When will your next kiss take place?

I really don't care.



29. Have you told anybody you loved them today?

No.



30. Who do you not get along with?

My heart. I absolutely hate it.



31. What are you wearing right now?

Hoodie and shorts.



32. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?

I don't like anybody.



33. How did you feel when you woke up?

Pensive.



34. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?

No.



35. Do you crack your knuckles?

Sometimes.



36. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?

Singing a song and eating Garlic bread.



37. Who's the first B in your contacts?

*checks* Bappa.



38. When was the last time you laughed really hard?

My birthday, a picture. :)



39. Last awkward moment?

Don't remember.



40. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.



41. Do you have good vision?

Noway.



42. Have you ever tripped someone?

I do that all the time, learned it in school.



43. Have you ever slapped someone?

Really long back.



44. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?

Sometimes.



45. Can you go out in public looking like you do?

Yes.



46. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?

Yes, it is.



47. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?

Yes. :P



48.Do you miss the way things used to be?

No, Shesmovedon, so have I.



49. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?

I wish I could. I wish I could shut my mouth for myself, at least.



50. Want someone back in your life?

No.



51. Will tomorrow be better than today?

Better than better.



52.Does it bother you when someone lies to you?

If I know the person is, then yes. Other times I don't care because I would not know anyway. :P



53. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?

I don't know. :|



54. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?

Naturally happy. Happy go lucky. :\



55. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?

Nyet.

Somebody help me !!

My killer, July.

Too much shit at work, and I hate it.

Blew a chance.

A birthday cake and some wine. :)

After the lamb, it's time for some Pomfret. And, it's was SO good, too.
Infact, I think I liked it more than Ilish. My Ilishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :( :(
And, that is saying something. :|


Love you loads.

Wild target.
Chromophobia.
Chloe.
Trick r treat.
After life.
Pieces of April.
Shutter.
Salt.
Veronika decides to die.
A perfect murder.

So much for a surprise. Blah. But this is the first time that it did not work out, should have known we think alike, it would clash. :| :| I'm extremely upset and disappointed with myself, even though I'm not expressing it. Shit happens. *shrugs*

On a musical note.
Tonight, something in the air, reminded me of winter of '06 and Benighted.

Call her up, tell her love is not a question..

..It is an answer and it deserves to be repeated when ever the question is asked.

What is the question? Everything. Everything from, "How do I look ?" to "Will you take me out ?" "What are you listening to ?" "Where are you going ?" "Do you love me ?" "What are you doing ?" "What plans ?"

Love. Love. Love. Love. Always the answer. Different forms and different faces to respond to but always the same.


It all comes back to me. To you. To him and to her. You tell people you love them and it makes them stop and think. It makes them fall in love with the world all over again.


But I know the hatred too, I feel it each time. Why can't I conquer the hatred with all the love, I have for her ? Why ?
Intense lack of love. Shit.

Why do you hate me so much ? :\ :\

Another second in the sunshine,
A decade in the dark taking part in a dream.
Have you forgotten what she looks like ?
Or do you only see what you want to believe ?

Does it feel better than love ?
Does it feel better than love ?

So, my shift got over at 6 am, I was sitting and listening to music and talking to Sand, on SIP, and suddenly we made this impromptu plan of going for a spin on his bike, so I waited till he finished his shift at 8:30 am, irritated the hell out of my team mates, till everybody left and then, we walked 2km to his house, took the Pulsar out and went for a spin to Patuli and back, had amazing Kachuri alu'r torkaari, langcha and washed it down with chilled Lassi. :)

Whattamorning, it was.

Now, chuttti. Heh. :P

The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes (and in no particular order). Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what albums my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note.)

I will be forbidden to do this on FB, but I still want to do, so I will. Here. I want you to try it too.

A rush of blood to the head
Parachutes
A natural disaster
A fine day to exit
Last fair deal gone down
Second Life Syndrome
Dance of the December souls
The great cold distance
The night is the new day
Signs of life
Carnival of rust
Revolution roulette
Tonight's decision
A different beat
By request


I just had to add the last two. Heh.
Aar money porchey naa, shit. God !!

I want langcha, now. :(

Well, that was the last thing she said to me, which hurt. From then on, there's no looking back, it's been a while, and no effect. No rub offs, none of those silly little games.

Like I once gave her the power to hurt me, the same way I took it back even without her realizing.
Such is life. :P

Keema and Paratha. Yum yum yum !! :P :P
I had french fries too.

2 am

So much studying to do. Why did I even bother to apply for this ?


Of late, I have been just craving two things, Potatoes (because mom don't cook them at home anymore) and chocolates.
I want !! :( :( :'( :'(

Resident Googler !!

Just give me a word, sentence, something to look up, something to research on, something to keep me occupied and I am on.

Give me words, give me words, and I can come up with anything. Literally. :)



Edge of love.
Lust, caution.
Chasing Amy.
I've loved you so long.
Hot chick.
Precious.

Packing.
Impromptu trip to Digha, for a day !! :P

Bus at 5am, tomorrow.
I hope, I go and don't chicken out. I just might, it all depends what happens at 4am, tomorrow morning. :)

Fade into you
Strange you never knew.

Does, jog help ?

If you don't walk on people, you don't get ahead.

"Because I own a" Nikon L22 ;)

You need to sober up, Trina Dasgupta. :P
Haven't been more sober.


Can I say again ?
Life is good. :D

Narcissism is back ?

I need this, like right now.

Battery charger MH-72 or Rechargeable Ni-MH battery EN-MH2-B2 set Or may be the AC adapter EH-65A ?

Well ..

Well, what ?

I see myself dancing around, in the alternate Universe.

The, good life.

Live all you can, live while you can

It's kind of weird, roaming around the city all alone, exploring new places, all alone, no friends, nobody to laugh with. That led me to this place, last evening, somewhere, I've been wanting to go for a while, and with the camera on it's way, I guess, I will finally have a companion. :)

I wanted to photograph the food, I ordered but we will have to wait for that,

Carbonara; Bacon and onion, penne ?

More for dinner and breakfast
Some pizza, that was..

'Fire of Bengal ?' Hahahaha.
Spicy mutton with Coriandr (der), Mozzarella (sp?) and THAT tomato sauce. *drooooooooool*

Off, to bed.

It's just that, I have a fair idea about, what is going on.

I think, I am finally living for myself.
I'll figure that out soon. :) :)

Till now.

Bittermoon
Foxfire
The life before her eyes
Crazy/beautiful
Beautiful Kate
10 things I hate about you
9 1/2 weeks

So, tomorrow it is.

Finally the day.
Flight at 9:30 am.

Calcutta to Pune. :( :'(

Woah !!

OMG !! So, I introduced UNO to her, and I think she liked it, frankly I didn't think she would, she is very restless. But last night was so good and crazy, she threw both of us down, we were so buzzed with the home made Vodka Martini, boy !!
V, be the mahn !!

I have not been happy drunk in a while, the more I drink the more I get sick and throw up and pass out, but last night was relaxing, nice and trippy very trippy, with music and you. :P

.. and that song Love the way you lie., where we were just glued to the screen, boy !!

Oh, I love you too. :)

One.

My name is Ninth on the stack.
Fark !! I'm like SO thrilled. :) Jeez !! Wow. How did, I just achieve that ?

And if we were in RHS' team, I'd be actually on the third. Ohmahn !! *goes absolutely crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*

I did it, I did it.
Now, they know. Fucking PCCP. Yes, you did fuck us all (TA), but I'm going to show you, you messed with the wrong one. IPP. :P

And how am I to just, mug up CSPR, it's a fucking Bible. Jeez. So much of work, but I enjoy this.

It's one year at work, today.

So, I want Shepards Pie, with some red wine, for once not the usual, White. :P

Partaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay !!

Listening to my maid talk shit at 9:30 in the morning, today.





'Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones, worth suffering for.'
Blah, as if I don't already know this. :|

Uhm, the date's been set. It's the 31st Aug. I will miss you, and this week's been really good, and today is going to be great. :)
Why can't friends be better with dates ?

Don't they know, I don't like that date.

I do not like 31st Aug, and now I have one more reason to not like it ever more.
Twenty three. Wow.

Just how did we survive ? ;) Only, we know. :D

Fades like a photographhhhhh

Photographs taken, like memories of you, they disappear.
Colors of your eyes, they fade with time; they just can't stay clear.


Family.
I mean, extended family. They do not stick to you for long.

Words, I tell you..
Blah.

So, lust did last, and then it suddenly turned into unconditional love. :P

Nine.
Mammoth.
El secreto de sus ojos.
Quills.
District 9.
Hangover.

Okay, why have I NOT yet told my mother about the Australian contract ?

I guess, I am waiting, for the good news.

So, Tech lead or Technical writer ?
Frankly, I don't know.

Two songs, I am tripping on from, last evening.

Wonderful life- Hurts
First day- Timo Mass.


But, you must really manipulate to get your stuff done. I could not, that's why, so much of it is undone.

Cavannagh

Now that you are there, nothing else matters.
I think, I will make it. :)

Meltdown.


You can ask/do/say absolutely anything, and it's only the last word you say, that someone is supposed to consider. Everything else is to be washed away. Life doesn't have a CRTL+Z. Get that clear ?

Who could call my name without regretting,
Who could promise to never destroy me.


Of course, it is going to end. Of course, it's three and a half.
It always stops at two and a half, three and a half, five and then seven.

I feel it. I know you won't leave, but I know this too, I will drive you away, unknowingly, I don't even like talking to you anymore, knowing fully well, how much you dislike me, already. You said I lied, assuming, I did, I'd just say, I did not lie at the expense of anyone, I never do that.

You say, I know that you know, that I feel you don't care for me enough.
Yes, I've ALWAYS felt that.
You say, that's for me to know, and you to show.

But when have you showed it, really ? I have never felt you love or care for me, not one bit. What's the point in me knowing it, when I've never felt it, at all. The only time I actually felt something, was the time, there wasn't love, there was something else.

Help me get over this. Don't just say that you are there for me, I know damn right you are there, I need you to drag me out of it, drag me out of my personal hell. Can you ?

You say, I'm being extremely mean, perhaps I am, but I am not aware of that, talk to me, point it out.
You say, I've changed, but I have not. I care for you all the same, and I am never mean to you, I'd die than be mean to you. If I have changed, show me two things, and in turn, I will show seven more and prove you wrong.

You say, I need to take time off. Maybe, I need to. Perhaps.
So, I'm off for a while. You'll know where to find me, you always do.

You are the only person, I've met in this life, who feels a lot like me. Yet, I wish, we had talked. I wish you had let me talk, and not hang up the phone. I wish, you were there when I had cried and not said, 'Oh please, don't start crying, now.'

I miss your mails. You should write to me, sometimes. Maybe ?

I really need to go.

And you don't know everything. How I wish.

..and then she left. Just like that.

She said, I don't care.
And she did not, and she made sure, I saw that. And I did.

It will never be the same..

Is it providence or just plain dumb luck when at the lowest point in which, you must simply accept the fact that one of the most perfect symbiotic relationships has ended and that a new face appears and suddenly I'm captivated ?

This is not the same.

This time, I feel nothing. Is it in reality nothing or is this, the opportunity that I tried too hard and missed ?

This is not the same.

It feels so familiar.

This is not the same.

I will not turn this into that. You are unique, individual. I will take this for who you are in this moment, not picking up where another left off. But it will be difficult.

This is not the same.

Okay, I accept. I cannot pick up on subtle hints anymore, I know they are there, but I just don't know which one to feed one. :(

Enough is enough. :|

Heavenly creatures.
La vie en rose.
The human centipede.
Shelter.
The Orphan.
The painted veil.

I'm still wishing for a miracle, it's just that, it's different from what I wanted last week.

A lot changed, changing..

I don't understand this frankly, and I need a sign. C'mon, I need it. ;)
Change my life, and I think you can do it. Four years, and I want something different. This time, YOU do it, while I sit around waiting.

*looks at the phone*
Here we go again.. :P

You think you know someone, right?
Maybe you never did, and how that scares you
I'll shut my mouth for you
Just like your friend would do..

I love you.

Let down !!

Okay, so ?

Now, I feel really let down. For the past so many months, I had listened to you, I did not do the things you did not want me to do, I did not speak to the person you did not want me to speak to, I did not meet people because you had asked me not to.

And now what ?
I just should NEVER have listened to you. WHAT THE FUCK !! Just, what the fuck.

I'm not pissed. I'm just upset and so many other things.
You, are super happy.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SW, I wish you were here. I FUCKING NEED YOU. I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED YOU.

The constant gardener.
The blind side.
Lantana.
An education.
Case 39.
Into the wild.
The unborn.

You will remember and, I will forget.

It's happening.

It was stupid of me to trust anyone. It was stupid. Conned I am, yet again.

I move.

A very happy birthday to you, Snow. :)

The more I grow fond of people, the more they hate me.
Wow.

WOW !!
What a performance in June, work wise. I'm SO surprised at myself. Fark !! Fark !! Fucketh !!
I hope this continues, the good continues.

On a serious and a different note,

Dear God,

I need a miracle, like really. Peace and Miracle. Is that possible, or is it too much to ask for ?

-Me. (Your favorite child)

So, let's see what we've downloaded for the past week and watched,


A single man
Eclipse
Shutter island
Unthinkable
Kairo (Japanese)
Everybody's fine
Shrink
Up in the air
Two lovers

Back to square one.


All alone.

Shiverrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I've been dead since yesterday, I took three pills at last to get rid of my fever, it is not entirely gone, but will.

Twice now, in three months.

The movies that I downloaded and watched in the past week one week-
In order-


Pyaar impossible
Karthik calling Karthik
I hate luv stories
Ice age 3
Wake up Sid
A single man
Final destination 4
The time traveller's wife
Remember me.

No food, mindfucked.

Can't smoke, because it's been three months, I have quit smoking, and since the mindfuck phase is temporary, I don't want to start smoking.
One week. I just hope it gets better from here.

I watched Wake up Sid late in the night yesterday, I personally relate to this movie a lot. It's depressing, if you know what I mean.

God !!
I suggest you watch it too, and you'll know what I am talking about, when you do.

I really really miss you. :(

For the sake of my own sanity, I think people should really have the last word, and that I should leave them alone. :)

Why am I doing all this for you, when I claim to not love you anymore, at least to myself. I don't feel the same anymore, of course the connection is there, in fact it's really good, but this cannot make us last, there are more important things, and I don't think you get me.

Sometime back, I was ready to give up the world for you, I still am, but now it feels like a task. You come off too easy, I hate easy. I don't like you much right now, I do not. We need to stop this, I need to stop. I. I. I. I. I.

Tonight, I am re watching ESOTSM, takes me back in time.
So many things changed.

On a different note
I still miss you. It stays. :(

Yes, so I did plan to go with the laptop posted in the earlier post, I ran around all over south Calcutta to get the blue colored laptop, unfortunately all over the place they just had pink.

So, I had to settle for the best. :P



And I love my internet speed, seven hours and two movies. :)





I miss you. :'(

Today, it's all mine.

1. What curse word do you use the most?
I don't cuss. Fark ?

2. Do you own an iPod?
No.

3. What person do you talk to on the phone the most?
Mother, it's always been her.

4. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Yes.

5. Do you remember where you were on 9/11/2001?
Talking on the phone, someone informing me about the incident.

6. What was the last movie you watched?
Flashback of a fool ?


7. What is your all time favorite comedy movie?
Nothing comes to mind.

8. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?
No.

9. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Yes.

10. What did you call your grandparents?
Didaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. :D :D

11. What are you looking forward to?
Nothing, really.

12. What music are you listening to right now?
The Noose- APC.

13. What will you be doing in one hour?
Going out to buy the Laptop. ;)

14. Is anyone in love with you?
Nope.

15. Last time you cried?
Last afternoon. Yes, I cry too easily. :|

16. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?
Desktop, at the moment.

17. What is on your bedside table?
Retractor, keys, my debit card, a bottle of water, my wallet and my dog. :\


20. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Last week, I guess

21. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
4.

22. Do you eat breakfast daily?
No.

23. If you could go to any place right now, where would you go?
Nowhere, I'm very happy here. Content, totally.

24. What's a subject you wish you knew more about?
Every other thing.

25. What was the last restaurant you went to?
Peter cat.

26. Do you believe in Karma?
Yes.

27. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two.

28. How many pairs of jeans do you own?
6 ?

29. Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep?
Yes, no, yes.

30. What perfume are you currently wearing?
Glacier.

31. What brand of shampoo and conditioner do you use?
Head and shoulders, always. I do not use any conditioner.

32. When was the last time you recieved mail other than junk mail and bills?
All the time. :|

33. How many different beverages have you had today?
I had Bull at work today, and I went mad. ;)

34. How many cities have you lived in?
2.

I'm totally in love with Joachim Loew.

Shit, I can not get him out my mind.

What an achievement !! :P

So glad to see you well, overcome them
Completely silent now
With heaven's help
You've cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
To the dead

The Germans couldn't make it, whatever happened to the predictions all over the world, I came to know about it last night, yes I'm heartbroken, and that's an understatement. I have fever and once again, I've lost my voice.

Goodnight.
More later. :( :(

I know you're rooting for Spain, I just know.

I want the Germans to join the Dutch.

Please make it happen. :( :'( Please.

- - Moon over mountain, Zippo.

- Puma watch. :P

- Night is the new day, CD. (Brand master piece)


Yes, Ebay indeed is the solution to every other thing.
My three purchases in one month. :D

Go Germaneh !! ;)