So now the two of us rely on each other
With our premonitions out in the gutter
Who would have thought that I’d make it this far

I’ll make it seem like I’m stronger but I’m quite the actor
And now I’m so caught up and I can’t escape this pattern
But when I started losing hope, there you were, there you bloomed.

Germany 4, yes yes yes !!

Will I like him as much as I liked Kahn ??
But I like him already.

Whatamatch that was. :P :P
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooper !!

The answer did not satisfy me. :\
But I do not care.

There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet

Yay !!
Three days off, at a stretch. And my favourite days.

Friday night and Sunday afternoon. ;)

Lookit. ;)

Another one. I love it.

Truth be told, that Chardonnay wine had me sleeping for two days. Jeez !! :| :\
Goodnight, again.

Nothing stays.

Okay, So S bought me this the other day, I let it sit for almost a week and then the first glass hit me, I got drunk bad and I was yelling pissing people off, second glass I was snoring. This is a good sedative. ;)
This shit was good. :D

So please don't let it
Please don't let it go
'Cause if you won't let it I won't let it go
So please don't let it
Please don't let it go
'Cause if you don't let it I won't let it go

I'm trippy early in the morning, it's such a nice song. :P

My favorite tee shirts vanished, so did my green pull over, so did my Apple flask. Anyway, it doesn't stop me from winning this super sexy thing. :)

The resolution of the picture is bad. But whattodo ?
Time for Nikon. ;)

Hey
You used me
But I had none to confide.

Anything, you don't like, come in here. :)

Please win. :D
Please.

Over a month and no smoke at all. :)

I have done this on my own, without anyone asking me to quit.
I'm SO proud of meself. :D

Requiem

Tired again. Weary. I'm so dry for ideas. When will I get one? That idea. The idea. Words written. Words to write. Much to do. Much needed to be done. When will it be done? I'm tired of myself. I cannot lie. I will not lie. The words flow more freely now. Natural. Unplanned. A vision. An idea. Where does it come from? Men in a control room? Forget what they said. Forget what they do. Life begins and ends with only you.

Ignore sound. Ignore fate. You are fate. Your words are fate. Your dreams are fate. Your stories are fate. You are fate. Forget the time, the day. This is fate. Her sweet hands will once again be yours. No. They won't. Don't let yourself lie to you. Move past. Move on. Move forward. There's no other way to move. Psychology. Chemistry. Biology. History. Our story. You'll get it soon. You'll get it sometime. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. I'm afraid to stop.

Inspire me. Inspire. let's inspire. Dreams. Fantasies. Stories. It's you. It's fate. You're fate. We're fate. We're life. Life is long, unplanned. This is unplanned. There is no control. There is no order. It is all chaos. Unknown chaos. Figure it out. You'll find yourself figuring it out soon. Try not to worry too much. It stops your idea. It stops your thought. It stops the train. Worry stops it all. Don't let yourself worry. Prophecy. Prophets. I wonder where it comes from. If it's natural like this. If it just flows out of them, no thought before, no thought after. Just a natural chain of occurances (sp?) to predict the future.

To know the future. Would you keep it? The future. Would you want it? Maybe there is no such thing as future. Tomorrow always becomes today, so in reality, today is tomorrow. The future is the present, the present is the future. The past is the future. The future is the past. It's a big chain, and circle, a never ending thought process. It's a dream. It's a fantasy. It's unknown. Maybe that's the way it should stay. Who wants to really know? Who needs to know? Live. Be fate. Take control in the chaos. Plan to not plan. Spontaneous. Combust (sp?).

Fear is fire to keep you away. Fire is drive to move forward. Which is it? What is this ambiguity of life?

There are NO hellos and goodbyes..

I apologize to anyone whose life I’ve interfered with.



Actually, I don’t.



Anyone can damn well know that if they didn’t want me there I would have left. If it pains a person so much to be around me they can simply seal themselves off to me. Those who are sick of me need not be discrete about it.



I do hope though, that I’m not simply being used for somebody’s amusement, as to see how far down I can be driven before I die.



Me, my pain is the effect of leaving my heart open and vulnerable. I acknowledge that much. But I don’t need to be anyone’s burden.



My heart is a wasteful item. I’ll shred it apart myself. I don’t need memories. I don’t need love.



Heh, I'm fucking pathetic. I understand much more than I let on. I simply don't flow with the mainstream of society. I've observed enough to know what the world has come to. I don't belong here. I believe in chivalry. I believe in innocence. I believe in love. I believe in faithfulness. I believe in goodwill. One can argue that I am simply naive. I’ve yet to ever observe any of these things myself, and yet I believe in them. I may never find a place where these ideals coexist, but to surrender them would be to surrender my heart. My heart bleeds because everything I ever hear, see, or experience shoots them down.

It is rather pointless to dedicate my life to pursuing something that is so false.

Nothing exists beyond the physicality of the world.

So, I won. :P
3:1.5 ?! :)

Good win. :)
Now, let's see the actual outcome.

Yes, so if you do not know how to love me the way, I want you to love me, then you do not love me at all, IMHO.

You are free to think whatever you want.

I turned you down so hastily
And it’s tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
And it’s cold
So cold

So I found you
Found a way all through
The quiet cold of inner darkness
And now that you're here
It becomes so clear
I have waited for you always

Today, I went back and read our oldest conversation. And now I can almost feel you here, sitting on the sofa at the back of me, listening to music and playing with your old old phone.

I forgot, which one was it ?

Still at it. :)

Very very consistent.

All my life, I've thought I didn't have an ego, till yesterday.
They've proved it.

I guess, I'm glad.

..times have changed and now I find I'm free for the first time
feel so close to everything now
strange how life makes sense in time

I spent 12 hours straight at work. :)
Haha, what fun. :P

Today was so like B'lore, it was SO cloudy and windy, still is.
And, I have not slept, and I'm off to work.

Good times.

And I would freeze if you ever asked me, that was my way.

Dhurrrrrrrrr, abar din gona shuru, I hate waiting. :| :'( :(

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.


Nostalgia for what we've lost is more bearable than nostalgia for what we never had.

Now should you expect to see something that you hadn't seen
In somebody you'd known since you were sixteen;
if love is a bolt from the blue, then what is that bolt but a glorified screw?
and that doesn't hold nothing together
Far from these nonsense bars and their nowhere music it's making me sick
And I know it's making you sick
There's nothing there, it's like eating air
It's like drinking gin with nothing else in
And that doesn't hold me together.

But for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom
I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June
But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin

And I know you like your boys to take their medicine
From the bowl with a silver spoon
Who run away with the dish and scale the fish by the silvery light of the moon
Who were taught from the womb to believe till the tomb
That as far as their bleeding eyes see
Is a pleasure pen, meant for them, builded and rent for them
Not for the likes of me
Not for the like of you and me

And for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom
I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June
But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin

Oh but the green-eyed harpy of the salt land
She takes into hers my hand
She says, "Boy I know you're lying
Oh but then, so am I,"
And to this I said "Oh well."

Well put me in a cage full of lions, I learned to speak lion
In fact I know the language well
I picked it up while I was versing myself in the languages they speak in hell
That night, the silence gave birth to a baby
They took it away to her silent dismay
And they raised it to be a lady
Now she can't keep her mouth shut

And for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom
I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June
But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin

For one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
Well I played a few songs for those bumps in the night
In fact I played this very tune
You said, "What is this six-stringed instrument but an adolescent loom?"
And one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin.

Assumptions !! *nods head*

Alright, may be I was wrong. But it's not too late. We'll wait and see. :)

When the silence beckons,
And the day draws to a close,
When the light of your life sighs,
And love dies in your eyes,
Only then will I realise,
What you mean to me.

I'm seriously depressed, now.

I don't know why SKIP happened.
I don't want to go there. No.

I want week days off, NOT weekends. I hate Weekends, officially.

So, is it Malaria this time around ?! :|

Monday, 7pm.

Once I was someone new I was chosen for a while then with time I am changing at least that is what they say..

So, the whole Calcutta seem to be online, today. Blinking red.
All hail, Bandh !! :P


This is a hate song just meant for you
I thought that I'd write it down while I still could
I hope when you hear this you'll want to sue

Oh it's a lonely life in my empty bed
And it's a quiet life that leaks from my head
These are the last rites
The line is dead

Yes, I'm hearing voices too
And I'm more cut up than you

Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the '70s most of them were out living lives. Some I've seen, some never again, but there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them.

My playlist:

1. Last kiss Pearl Jam
2. Are you there- Anathema
3. Exit ghost- Faderhead
4. Ain't no sunshine- Bill Withers
5. Ever- Team Sleep
6. 2wicky- Hooverphonic
7. Blindfold- Morcheeba
8. July- Katatonia
9. Leaders- Katatonia
10. The diary of Jane- Breaking Benjamin
11. Zombie- The Cranberries
12. Strange and beautiful- Aqualung
13. Humanity- ATB
14. The scientist- Coldplay
15. Extraordinary way- Conjure one

Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That's part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads - at least that's where I imagine it - there's a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you'll live forever in your own private library.

I've lost five kilos. So what ??? :|

My target is 60.

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

I cannot get over it. I just cannot.

Yes of course, why would you believe me ? You would only believe people who will con you later in life. It's all about you at the end of the day, all about you. I'm so pissed off from last night and all I need you to do is just aplogize and I think you should, but no, all you do is just sleep.

God, please kill MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Pointless thinking is worse than no thinking at all.
-Haruki Murakami.

I think the above applies to you right now.

On a different note, you have really raised the bar, I wonder who's next, it'll be really really hard to even qualify, that you and I both know.

Good thing SW. :D

Yawn

Refer to the other blog.

I’ve been conceiving you for too long

Or maybe I’m destined to be alone?
Or maybe there’s someone who will understand
That I’m not able to share my world?
I’m still running away
It’s crazy, I know

The more I feel, the less they feel. How is it even possible ?

So, I watched four movies:

No reservations
Saturday night fever
A walk to remember
Forgetting Sarah Marshall. :)

Okay, so finally something to smile about after two depressing weeks.

POTF are releasing their fourth album in March, I hope it is better than 'Revolution Roulette' and their new album is called, 'Twilight Theater.'

Okay, please give me a day and a date, I can work towards it, but without that I cannot go on, aimlessly, it's boring. Very boring.

The two movies that I watched here:

I am Sam and
3 Idiots.

So this flat seems very spacious in Koramangala, and it's nice since all of us get to do this sleepover thingie at the end of the day, we went to Forum/PVR early today to see what was running, Pyaar impossible was, and I wanted to watch, but none of them would. So off we went to Transit and ate and ate, and now I feel very sleepy. Off to Coorg again.

Places, I've been:
Unwind Island
LOR
Noons
Ruby Tuesday
Mojos (later today)
Transit (oh)


Coffee world and Creme and fudge has opened up near Ballygunge. And More did on Elliot road.


I NEED SLEEP.

So today makes it four months of being in HP. :P

And this is the first time ever, that I've finished reading two books at one go.

Blood memory by Greg Iles
and
Sam's letters to Jennifer by James Patterson. :)

We went to watch New Moon the other day, and Jacob Black is just as I had imagined. :D :D :D :D :D

Crap! I might need you more than any of us want to think about.

There's no failure here sweetheart, just when you quit. :)

Currently reading:
'Mosaic' by Soheir Khashoggi

Why do people make sides- of everything ?

A Fine Day To Exit.

You'd give it
We'd take it
You'd build it
We'd break it
You silently erase it
You'd feel it
We'd fake it.

Anything gray IS black.

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.

I'm too naive for the games you play.

Life spiralled. Damn Fibonacci.

I'll never be as good as you- at anything.
Even if that's true, you could be a little more generous about how you rub that in. :\

You claim to be my long absent friend
You are the cancer that just moved in
You come with the dark night of the soul
But I am turning my back on you
You know I do.

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue,
Keeping me from killing you

The little ball of wool said to me, who knows about people days

Every thing's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing?
Imagine where you are?
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

If we can't make memories, we can't heal.

Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts.

I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning, even if I can't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still there. Do I believe the world's still there? Is it still out there?... Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different.

So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me,
'Cause you say you see straight through me,
Don't you?

But on and on,
From the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you can

Oh, did you want me to change?
Well I'll change for good,
And I want you to know, that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say...

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
I'll sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?

But on and on,
From the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you can, if you can.

Oh, did you want me to change?
Well I'll change for good,
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way,
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver,
I'll sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you
For you, I will always be waiting...

And it's you I see,
But you don't see me.
And its you, I hear,
So loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you.

So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me.

Shiver, Coldplay.

I have a mind for simple things, but things are not of mind to simplify
There's always some loophole technicality you buy into and pay until you die
Money doesn't bring me joy, it's more like a darling dead weight
And I seem to have lost my appetite, it's underrated how we overrate.

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I… that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need… I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me – when – I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me…

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own - Sometimes you cannot make it on your own, U2.

..and now that she’s gone

There’s no one else to blame

And the space she left behind her

Bleeds like an open vein.. - Can you hear me ? U2.

Lie.

Ohgod !! I have tanned SO much, shit. My face and my arms. Damn !! :( :(

I still don't get sleep after running around so much. I'll miss the CG Block. :(

8am- Jump out of the bed
8:45am- Rush out of the house
9am- Take a bus to Sector V
10am- Enter work
6pm- Take a bus to Gariahat, visit mom
7:30pm- Walk the whole stretch from Dover rd to my house
8pm- Scream at my maid
9pm-1am- SPACING OUT.
2/3am- In bed.

All I'm saying is don't give up, when you're getting so close. All I'm
saying is don't give up, it's the right way you chose.

Today has been a totally 'No' day.

I don't know why and I'll never know.

This day will die tonight and there ain't no exception
We shouldn't wait for nothing to wait for
Love me in this fable, babe, my heart is in your hand
Our time is waiting right outside your door
And maybe tomorrow is a better day

This shit doesn't seem alright.

Every day I walk those streets and think, it's going to be different, it's going to change. But everyday I come out of that place, more fucked up, and it's still the same.

I had forgotten my priority for at least five years straight, and I realized this on Wednesday night, when I went there. Same old place.

What was I so busy with anyway, people ?

Most go away with time, some change, the ones that remain get fucked and fuck others up in the process.

It's hard to find
Hard to find
Hard to find the strength now but I try
And I don't want to
Don't want to
Don't want to go on and speak now
Of what's gone by
Cos no matter what I say
No matter what I do
I cant change what happened
No matter what I say
No matter what I do
I cant change what happened

You just slipped through my fingers
And I feel so ashamed
You just slipped through my fingers
And I have paid

My phone play list consists of the following:

'In the waiting line' by Zero 7, OST - Garden State.
'Strange and beautiful' by Aqualung, OST - Wicker Park.
'A natural disaster' by Anathema.
'Maybe tomorrow' by Stereophonics, OST - Wicker Park.
'Guardian angel' by Lovex.
'Diary of Jane' by Breaking Benjamin.
'Light switch' by Jaime Wyatt, OST - Wicker Park.
'Let go' by Frou Frou.

And not to forget Katatonia and POTF.

So trippy !! :P

Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane.

Wait in line
'Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop

Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me

Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see

Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can

Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Ah and I'll shout and I'll scream
But I'd rather not have seen
And I'll hide away for another day

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can

Yet again, it's my fault, all my fault.

Always have been, always will be. :) :P


I don't know my friends anymore, or may be I know them too well, if I can so well predict their steps. So much for love ? ;)


Sheer disappointment,
But like I say, I'm happy if it makes them happy, even though I know it's momentary happiness for them.

Sigh !!

Such self control, I have. :) :)

I am so proud of myself. :D :P

.. and suddenly everyone is in town.

Partaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy !!

What fun. :P

Look into my eyes
It's the only way you'll know I'm telling the truth

Last night was bad, just couldn't sleep at all, no matter how much I tried. Sorry to put you in a position where you have to handle the two of us, with our 'issues.' It's not fair on you especially when you are still coping with your 'situation.' I know it isn't, but I can not help it. I have tried so much not to talk about it, not to care, to be nonchalant, but it isn't working, this time around.

All of a sudden it feels like the end of the '06 and beginning of '07, though the situation were completely different. And the worst part is, I know all that is happening, but my mind refuses to understand or is it my heart, again ?

Sleepless and I have work today.

Two more days to go. :D

I miss SB and SG.

I want Muffin. :(

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. -Breakfast at Tiffany's.

It's nice when someone knows, what exactly makes me jealous, but I hate it when I have to show it, it's not me. And then there is always the eternal question, what if ?

I have discovered. Lovex !! :P :P :P :P

Yay !!


Through the darkness and broken glass
I'll come for you, if you only ask
And there I'll stand
Just for you

She says, I always forget my immediate past too soon. Well, I guess she is right, now my mother and she would gel on this statement. :)

Sigh !!

Love is there, but there are days when we are so weird. It doesn't take a minute to be hostile to each other, to throw words at each other without thinking twice (once that are said in confidence). I'm hurt and she is doubly hurt. But it doesn't stop here now or today, it will continue, and it's all my fault, I bring this upon myself every so often. I misunderstand people. :(

I took back all that I said, but I should know one cannot take back words. I think whoever I come in contact with, I eventually end up damaging them, and steal whatever good they have in them (I can even steal their soul). Now why I do that, I'm yet to figure out.

Anyway since everyone is so busy, I thought I'd put down something here, this is MY space. :)
I love you my space, heh.



My hope
dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

Will it or won't it ?

A friend says, I'm not giving you what you get from everyone else.

And I sigh. Pout. *heart break*


Then, give me something extraordinary ? I say to myself.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!

Just one week left, I can hardly wait now. Something fun, something good, after finally such a long time. :) And the bonus is FOOD. :D :D


Your breath hot upon my cheek, and we crossed, that line
you made me strong when I was feeling weak, and we crossed, that one time
screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes, keep on flashing, flashing by.

So why don't we join the masquerade
Before it all falls apart before our love becomes insatiate

What does tomorrow want with me
What does it matter what I see
If I can't choose my own design
Tell me where do we draw the line.

I like this feeling.

O the stale old dogs who pretend to guard
the morals of the masses,
how smelly they make the great back-yard
wetting after everyone that passes. - D H Lawrence

I don't like the fact that he was possibly gay !! :( :(

Tonights decision..

Tonight is bad, 17th wasn't that bad. Maybe because 17th's conversation was about me, and I took full responsibility of it, but this isn't my fault. I was so fucked up then, and I shouldn't even be judged on the basis of that, as if you need a chat conversation to know me.

So much has changed in these three years, we've fought so much over stupid stuff and have gotten so close (differently), that if something hurts you today, even before you feel sad, I'm in tears not for myself, but for your pain. Is it even possible ? Yes, it is, I have that in me, I could almost feel it over the phone, I always do.

Maybe 'he' shouldn't have trusted a stranger (me) then, but had I judged you then, you wouldn't have been my closest friend today, I cannot think the world without you, like I cannot without, Richu. You are that close, and you should know.

After the 17th of June'09, I'm a changed person, you and I both know that. And thank you, for that. I don't care about anyone else, except a few, I can even count, five trusted friends I have and I don't consider anyone else my friend, let alone trust them or even hang out with them. I don't care about the bitching that goes around outside 'my' world, I'm above all this. Really. It sickens me. A lit bit of fun here and there is fine, but what has to be there is, a lot of Compassion and Goodness, and you have that, that is why you are my friend.

Ok, now I need to sleep. We shall continue this tomorrow morning, hopefully. I love you, and I'm sorry once again.

Our crushed plans and my lies. :P

It's not about you, they said.

Ebaba !! Jaah !! :( :(

What is happening ? :X


Carry on.


Ghumiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. :P

It's good to see her getting the taste of her own medicine. This was due.

It does come around. So much more, still to come. :P


Times are A changin'

Last night we (Shion and me) were walking arm in arm on Church Street, we bumped into V and A. She looked at both of us, Shion looked at her, wanting to stop but didn't, and of course the oblivious me, didn't care to notice, I was busy chattering.

I hate old people, (though V wasn't ever MY friend) their mere presence is disturbing. I hate keeping in touch, I hate meeting and the worst part is to call and wish them for their birthday, I wish forgetting was easy, but it isn't. We must all live with our demons. But yesterday was good.

And Sani is coming here on the 19th, Shion and I keep planning and re planning. Something with a purpose, something exciting. :P

Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, I asked her the same question, which I ask myself quite often, though it is not applicable to me.

Why are people SO bitter about their past ? Is it because they still care, is it because there is a part which they can not let go ?

Why don't they remember the good side of things, sure they've had their fun, so why not ? Is hatred so strong that it engulfs every thing in sight, the good times, the fun, the laughter, the joy, the promises made to one another.