It's hard to find
Hard to find
Hard to find the strength now but I try
And I don't want to
Don't want to
Don't want to go on and speak now
Of what's gone by
Cos no matter what I say
No matter what I do
I cant change what happened
No matter what I say
No matter what I do
I cant change what happened

You just slipped through my fingers
And I feel so ashamed
You just slipped through my fingers
And I have paid

My phone play list consists of the following:

'In the waiting line' by Zero 7, OST - Garden State.
'Strange and beautiful' by Aqualung, OST - Wicker Park.
'A natural disaster' by Anathema.
'Maybe tomorrow' by Stereophonics, OST - Wicker Park.
'Guardian angel' by Lovex.
'Diary of Jane' by Breaking Benjamin.
'Light switch' by Jaime Wyatt, OST - Wicker Park.
'Let go' by Frou Frou.

And not to forget Katatonia and POTF.

So trippy !! :P

Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane.

Wait in line
'Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop

Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me

Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see

Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can

Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Ah and I'll shout and I'll scream
But I'd rather not have seen
And I'll hide away for another day

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can

Yet again, it's my fault, all my fault.

Always have been, always will be. :) :P


I don't know my friends anymore, or may be I know them too well, if I can so well predict their steps. So much for love ? ;)


Sheer disappointment,
But like I say, I'm happy if it makes them happy, even though I know it's momentary happiness for them.

Sigh !!

Such self control, I have. :) :)

I am so proud of myself. :D :P

.. and suddenly everyone is in town.

Partaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy !!

What fun. :P

Look into my eyes
It's the only way you'll know I'm telling the truth

Last night was bad, just couldn't sleep at all, no matter how much I tried. Sorry to put you in a position where you have to handle the two of us, with our 'issues.' It's not fair on you especially when you are still coping with your 'situation.' I know it isn't, but I can not help it. I have tried so much not to talk about it, not to care, to be nonchalant, but it isn't working, this time around.

All of a sudden it feels like the end of the '06 and beginning of '07, though the situation were completely different. And the worst part is, I know all that is happening, but my mind refuses to understand or is it my heart, again ?

Sleepless and I have work today.

Two more days to go. :D

I miss SB and SG.

I want Muffin. :(

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. -Breakfast at Tiffany's.

It's nice when someone knows, what exactly makes me jealous, but I hate it when I have to show it, it's not me. And then there is always the eternal question, what if ?

I have discovered. Lovex !! :P :P :P :P

Yay !!


Through the darkness and broken glass
I'll come for you, if you only ask
And there I'll stand
Just for you

She says, I always forget my immediate past too soon. Well, I guess she is right, now my mother and she would gel on this statement. :)

Sigh !!

Love is there, but there are days when we are so weird. It doesn't take a minute to be hostile to each other, to throw words at each other without thinking twice (once that are said in confidence). I'm hurt and she is doubly hurt. But it doesn't stop here now or today, it will continue, and it's all my fault, I bring this upon myself every so often. I misunderstand people. :(

I took back all that I said, but I should know one cannot take back words. I think whoever I come in contact with, I eventually end up damaging them, and steal whatever good they have in them (I can even steal their soul). Now why I do that, I'm yet to figure out.

Anyway since everyone is so busy, I thought I'd put down something here, this is MY space. :)
I love you my space, heh.



My hope
dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

Will it or won't it ?

A friend says, I'm not giving you what you get from everyone else.

And I sigh. Pout. *heart break*


Then, give me something extraordinary ? I say to myself.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!

Just one week left, I can hardly wait now. Something fun, something good, after finally such a long time. :) And the bonus is FOOD. :D :D


Your breath hot upon my cheek, and we crossed, that line
you made me strong when I was feeling weak, and we crossed, that one time
screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes, keep on flashing, flashing by.

So why don't we join the masquerade
Before it all falls apart before our love becomes insatiate

What does tomorrow want with me
What does it matter what I see
If I can't choose my own design
Tell me where do we draw the line.

I like this feeling.

O the stale old dogs who pretend to guard
the morals of the masses,
how smelly they make the great back-yard
wetting after everyone that passes. - D H Lawrence

I don't like the fact that he was possibly gay !! :( :(

Tonights decision..

Tonight is bad, 17th wasn't that bad. Maybe because 17th's conversation was about me, and I took full responsibility of it, but this isn't my fault. I was so fucked up then, and I shouldn't even be judged on the basis of that, as if you need a chat conversation to know me.

So much has changed in these three years, we've fought so much over stupid stuff and have gotten so close (differently), that if something hurts you today, even before you feel sad, I'm in tears not for myself, but for your pain. Is it even possible ? Yes, it is, I have that in me, I could almost feel it over the phone, I always do.

Maybe 'he' shouldn't have trusted a stranger (me) then, but had I judged you then, you wouldn't have been my closest friend today, I cannot think the world without you, like I cannot without, Richu. You are that close, and you should know.

After the 17th of June'09, I'm a changed person, you and I both know that. And thank you, for that. I don't care about anyone else, except a few, I can even count, five trusted friends I have and I don't consider anyone else my friend, let alone trust them or even hang out with them. I don't care about the bitching that goes around outside 'my' world, I'm above all this. Really. It sickens me. A lit bit of fun here and there is fine, but what has to be there is, a lot of Compassion and Goodness, and you have that, that is why you are my friend.

Ok, now I need to sleep. We shall continue this tomorrow morning, hopefully. I love you, and I'm sorry once again.

Our crushed plans and my lies. :P

It's not about you, they said.

Ebaba !! Jaah !! :( :(

What is happening ? :X


Carry on.


Ghumiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. :P

It's good to see her getting the taste of her own medicine. This was due.

It does come around. So much more, still to come. :P


Times are A changin'

Last night we (Shion and me) were walking arm in arm on Church Street, we bumped into V and A. She looked at both of us, Shion looked at her, wanting to stop but didn't, and of course the oblivious me, didn't care to notice, I was busy chattering.

I hate old people, (though V wasn't ever MY friend) their mere presence is disturbing. I hate keeping in touch, I hate meeting and the worst part is to call and wish them for their birthday, I wish forgetting was easy, but it isn't. We must all live with our demons. But yesterday was good.

And Sani is coming here on the 19th, Shion and I keep planning and re planning. Something with a purpose, something exciting. :P

Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, I asked her the same question, which I ask myself quite often, though it is not applicable to me.

Why are people SO bitter about their past ? Is it because they still care, is it because there is a part which they can not let go ?

Why don't they remember the good side of things, sure they've had their fun, so why not ? Is hatred so strong that it engulfs every thing in sight, the good times, the fun, the laughter, the joy, the promises made to one another.

Pop goes the king !!

Rest in peace, MJ. :(

Where is the Goodness in this world ? My mother and my uncle have done so much good to people, but where did they land up ? It doesn't come back ten fold, it doesn't even come back to you at all, it's all a farce, I've done so much, if the Goodness doesn't come back when I need it desperately then what is the whole point of everything anyway.

I'm driving myself up the wall. I could do with some sleep, I really could.

I plan on telling her, never to be good to be anyone, I hope she listens. :)

Seven shots of wine spiked with Toddi again and this time, I puked (in the loo) passed out on the table in some sandwich place while Shion and M waited for me for one and a half hours. Whataday!

Twice in two weeks, Scottish pub, I like. Heee.

WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING TO BANGALORE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM ?

This is SO disturbing.

Shion said we should run off to Calcutta, because everyone is here, now.

All I feel is a perfect beautiful nothing.

Last night Shion took us out again for dinner, beer and wine spiked with Toddi, and two of us got very very buzzed. We spoke such shit and it was good, I came home and collapsed, texted friends, woke up and checked all the sent messages today, hilarious, hungover went back to sleep again, now ready for work.

And today I feel, it's a perfect day to throw back your head and kiss it all Goodbye. :)

And Pizza from Papa Johns (Garlic bread and pepsi) and Gelato from Daily bread..

But, I'm still hungry. :( :(

So, Mainland China, it was.

Yum! ;)

Shion takes us out for dinner tonight, birthday treat. :P

Yey!!!

Coorg

Tired, shall update more later. :)

Resh says, I need a break and this will do me good.

So, Coorg it is, then. :)

Off for two days.

Sometimes, I think whether the accident was appropriate or not.

Sometimes, I think anything is appropriate at all or not.

Patrick Wilson. Yumetus!! :P :P

She is God sent, I know what I'm talking about, and now I need a MIRACLE.

Even now when I listen to 'Coming back to life,' it still takes me back to late '05 and early '06, at SPE, beer in hand, singing along with Hip Pocket and friends. Not that, I don't listen to the song here in Mojos or Pecos, I do, but nothing fails to remind me of that time.

Where is people's self esteem, again? You bitch about people their boy friends and then go back to them again! Ugh, sickening.
God bless her, them.

May she win, exploiting her friends.
God bless.



And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs
that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

It's strange how every damn thing fits together, except people.

Ten days from today.

Sigh! :( :(

He saw it coming, I believed and it happened.

Dreams..

Life!

Three missed calls, and a pretentious person. Haha!

How history repeats itself, just how. :D

Today almost felt like Calcutta coming back home alone at Midnight. :)

Today was good, so many places. :D

And he's home, too.


That makes everyone SO happy. :) :)

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

Been so so long, but now when I think to that moment in time, it was more of a parting gift than that of a Birthday. :)

The gift has arrived home. :P

You're my Wonderwall

*croons*

Watchmen Quotes

Edward Blake / Comedian

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.



Jon Osterman / Doctor Manhattan

We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings.

Reconstructing myself after the subtraction of my intrinsic field was the first trick I learned.

I've walked across the sun. I've seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be said to have occurred at all, but you... you are a man. And this world's smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite.

Even if I can't predict where I'm going to find you, I can turn these walls to glass.

She says I am like a god now. I tell her I don't think there is a god. And if there is I'm nothing like him.



Walter Kovacs / Rorschach

This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.

None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me.

Soon there will be war. Millions will burn. Millions will perish in sickness and misery. Why does one death matter against so many? Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution ... and there is so little time.

Give me smallest finger on man's hand. I'll produce information. Computer unnecessary.

Don't worry. Won't insult legendary underworld solidarity by suggesting you surrender name without torture.


Ohgod! I've become such an addict!!!

Adrian Veidt / Ozymandias



Daniel / Night owl



Laurie Jupiter / Silk Spectre II



THE BADGE

You are so good
Yes, I'm SO good. *head rush*

On a funner note, last Saturday Rich, Guha and I went for the Watchmen. I wanted to basically go and listen to the soundtracks, but the movie totally blew me up so much that K and I are going for it tomorrow. :P :P :P :P

The tracklist
1. Desolation Row, My Chemical Romance (Bob Dylan)
2. Unforgettable, Nat King Cole
3. The Times They Are A-Changin', Bob Dylan
4. The Sound of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel
5. Me & Bobby McGee, Janis Joplin
6. I'm Your Boogie Man, KC and The Sunshine Band
7. You're My Thrill, Billie Holiday
8. Pruit Igoe & Prophecies, The Philip Glass Ensemble
9. Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen
10. All Along the Watchtower, Jimi Hendrix
11. Ride of the Valkyries, Budapest Symphony Orchestra

Rorschach's Journal: A Comedian died last night, and nobody cares. Nobody Cares but Me.

Paid last respects quietly, without fuss. Edward Morgan Blake. Born 1924, forty-five years a Comedian, died 1985, buried in the rain. Is that what happens to us? A life of conflict with no time for friends¦ so that when it's done, only our enemies leave roses.

*rests*

Everything's been taken care of, now! :P :P

Achoooooooooooooooooo!

So being sick is a royal pain in the ass. Not to mention the horrible timing my immune system has. I mean, seriously? Every six months. :( :'(

.. and trust is such a bitch!!!

I'm not even in the picture, but I feel so guilty. I wish I could say something, but I cannot.

I cannot just bring myself to say anything. I wish I could lie, I wish I did not have a conscious, I wish I was present there, while it happened, I wish I did not have to be a Virgo to see three sides of the coin.

I'm sorry RML, I wish I could have saved the day, like the rest. :'(

*lights up a smoke*
Why do I have to end up feeling bad, get conned. :D

I listened, I stayed, I related and became friends. :)

Barbeque Nation :P

Hoyto tomaari jonyo hoyechhi preme je bonyo
Jaani tumi ononyo ashaar haath badaai
Jodi kokhono ekaante cheyechhi tomaay jaante
Shuru theke shesh praante chhute chhute gechhi taai

Ohgod, I'm absolutely tripping on this song since yesterday, it reminds me of chotobela so much and to think of it, Richu reminded me of this song. :(

You have to be a bong to actually feel the song, or you have to know the language. I'm loving this.

Youtube IS God!

One cannot ever make up for the lost time.

I wish I had listened. :'(

What ?
When ?
Where ?

But NEVER why..


..because I know.

Just when you learn to take the reality in your stride and accept it for what it is, everything around you, everything others' say about you, seems like a pinch of salt.

Accept and move on, it is the wisest thing, I have realised.

It's weird how people can speak about their problems, so easily.

How ?

Hell breaking loose.

Whatamitodonow ?

I want THAT scar, it's almost gone.

After puking and passing out on H (red) he wakes up after eight hours.

My sib, for all those times, I wish I didn't care, we didn't fight and stop talking. I love the chengramo we get into all the time, and then laugh our heart out.

We'll go drinking, when we you here the next month.

And then you'll buy me white. :P

Sib sib. :D

You create you break.
It's all in one's doing.

You are responsible for YOU.

We've all forgotten, what we had set out to do. All of us. Need to get back and face myself, again.

I'm extremely pissed off right now. I know all this, in the bigger picture, doesn't matter. Everything is irrelevant, I don't know what's wrong with me. Haven't slept a wink, while Shion snores. He's been sleeping for four hours straight.

I don't know what to do. Why do I even bother? I'm always let down. This is such a bad thing. :(


..and I wish you were there. I need to, want to CRY.

One of these days, I'll come home with nothing to lose.

One of these days.

Hurts. Ouch. :(

They always talk about the Bangalore accidents. I consider myself lucky, had it not been for the strong glass at the back of my head, I'd be in the hospital today, and the doctor taking the shards out of my skull.

Cabbies told me, I was out for ten minutes, I just remember listening to Radio Indigo and then baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang, and my head hits the glass. 4627, my TL is going to lodge a complaint, today.

Head hurts so bad and I cannot lie down. '09 is bad for me at least healthwise, become so accident prone.

First it was the wine cap, and me tickling Shion then the food poisoning, throwing up as well as down chucking, which still continues, and today this.

Told my mum how hurt I was (didn't tell her about the blanking out part) and she was howling over the phone. :(

But, I'm okay. :D

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts ..

Dear Nutella,

I love you, you make me happy. :)

When you are 'hungry' love will keep us alive! :P

For all the people who've passed away..

Flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free..

You delete, I delete.

Well, if my words have hurt you or your friends, it was NOT meant to, I've said that before. I don't write about you people ever, in my blog.

And if you 'thought' it was about you guys, you should have clarified it with me first, before writing baseless things about me, not that it mattered, but you've had your share of laughter, and that's all that matters. Whatever rocks your boat. My friends, 'dragged' you into it, because you wrote about me.

I don't have 'backup' friends, especially, when i hang out in a very small circle. It's called 'looking out' or 'having each others' back' :)

Stay good.

Okay. No more then.

Truce ?

Oh, and why did you even start on my topic? What got to you so baaaaaaaad?

Point is, I didn't start it. So obviously you are asking the wrong person whether she wants to continue with it not.

Sure, I won't drag anyone into this, if you promise not to drag my 'backup friends.'

baby boy thinks he is the answer to all the 'little sisters.' Sure, he thinks right. What has happened to the world sigh.

People are doing their sisters. Shit.


Ps: Seemed to have hit a raw nerve. Thankyou so much for the spelling, 'Muralitharan'

Oh and you know effing zilch, go read up on people. M is A Tam. And you don't need to be from Bangalore to be a Tam.

Ha!

Imbecile.

Unsightly mouth- WOW. Amazing. Where do people coin these terms from?

Translate from Bengali to English, rapidex? :O :O

Still together, still lost :)

Well, this sucks...

They're just a bunch of pansies. [pause] Let's go meet the pansies!

Shh! We're hiding. Everyone be quiet. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again.


Can't you see you have insulted the freaks?

J said, and I'm quoting
The measure of a person is not how well he prepares for everything to go right, but on how gracefully he stands up and moves on, after everything goes wrong. :)

Maa said, Haatu'r boyeshi'e chele, naak tipley doodh beraye.

Sheer joy of discovering old people from the past.

One hour FB conversation.
Two hours Voice chat on Gtalk.

I must sleep. I have work, burp.

Aug '04, I'd written this..

Aah been a long time..

Dear Me,

Saying goodbye to your most loved ones is going to be ANYTHING but easy. However, change is inevitable and life will never be perfect. You have your good days... and you CERTAINLY have your bad ones. You get to start over completely... don't fuck it up this time. The next four years will be the most memorable of your life... ENJOY THEM!!!

Sincerely,
You.


And it's been awhile
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I could say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you



And boy what a ride it was!!!

AVOID.

Happens all the time.

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

Can't be bad, don't want to be good. :)

Happy new year everyone :)

2008: In The Beginning
Where did you go on New Years? Park Street/home, if I remember.
Who were you with? Friends.
Did you kiss anyone at midnight? No.
Did you make any resolutions? No.

2008: Your Love Life
Did you break up with anyone? No.
Did you get anything for Valentine's day? No.
Did you meet anyone special? I keep meeting 'special' and also lose them.
Did you fall in love? Yes, all over again.

2008: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year? No!
Did any of your friendships end? No.
Did you dislike anyone? Obviously.
Did you make any new enemies? They are always old.
Did you resolve any fights? No.
Who was your closest friend this year? Noone, I don't generally hang out with 'new' people.
Who did you grow apart from? Noone new.
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships? No.

2008: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year? I'd like to think so.
Did you dye your hair? Yes. In Feb, Z did for me.
Did you get your hair cut? Yes.
Did you change your style? No.
Were you in school? No.
Did you get good grades? N/A.
Did you have a job? Yes.
Did you drive? No.
Did you own a car? No.
Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
Did you move at all? No.
Did you go on any vacations? If going home, matters.
Did you leave the country at all? No.
Would you change anything about yourself now? Self control.

2008: Wrap Up.
Is 2008 a good year? Most definitely.
Do you think 2009 will top 2008? Yes.

I confess that in 2008 I... ('x' the brackets u have done)
(x) stayed single for the whole year
() made out in/on a car
() celebrated Halloween/Samhain
() kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
() broke someone else's heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) mooned someone
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship/ friendship with someone
(x ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) got pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) had/have a relationship/ friendship with someone you'll never forget
() done something you've regretted
() lost faith in love
( ) kissed under mistletoe

OTHER
() painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
() ran a mile
() shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
( ) posted a blog on MySpace
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) went to a sleepover
() went camping
() threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
(x ) laughed till you peed in your pants
() visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't
() partied to celebrate the new year
() cooked a disastrous meal
() lost something/someone important to you
() lied about how old you were
() prank called someone

In 2008 I...
[x] broke a promise
[x ] fell out of love
[x] lied
[] went behind your parents back
[x] cried over a broken heart
[] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[] kissed in the rain
[] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[ ] forgot your new years resolution
[] met someone who changed your life
[] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[] left the country
[] almost died
[] given up something important to you
[] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[] met great people
[x] stayed up until sunrise
[x] Cried over the silliest thing
[x] was never home on weekends
[] got into a car accident
[] had friends who were drifting away from you
[] had someone close to you die
[x] had a high cell phone bill
[x] spent most of your money on food
[] had a fist fight
[] went to the beach with your best friend
[] saw a celebrity
[x] got sick
[] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[x] became closer to a lot of people

With 2008 at an End, Do This and BE HONEST !

1. Have you had any relationships this year? No.
2. Have you had your birthday yet? Yes.
3. Kissed two people in the same night? No.
4. Pulled an all nighter? Yes.
5. Puked at all? Yes.
7. Went Camping? No.
8. Bought something(s)? YES!
9. Met someone special? No.
10. Been out of the country? No.
12. What are you thinking about? Where is MY self control? :X

Ten Things About Your Love Life
01. Have you ever been in love this year? Yes.
02. Do you believe in love? Obviously.
03. Why did your LAST relationship fail? N/A.
04. This year have you ever been heartbroken? Yes.
05. This year have you broken someone's heart? No.
06. This year have you ever fallen for your best friend? NO.
07. Have you loved someone but never told them? Yes.
08. Are you afraid of commitment? Yes.

NAUGHTY
01. Have you drank alcohol this year? Yes.
02. Have you smoked this year? Yes.
03. Have you done drugs this year? No.
04. Have you been kicked out of a store this year? No.
05. Have you shop lifted this year? No.
06. This year have you gotten a detention? No.
07. Have you cheated on a test this year? Yes.
08. Have you raced this year? No.

Time pass. Absolutely brilliant. Delightful to hear the words.

Two years, too long a time.

*yawn*

She's got black hair
And she has got a black dress
She is pretending
That her life is a mess

But I cannot rest
With so many worries
I can't lie down
And say I am done

I live 'cause I need more light
I hope I can change today
She would never think of changing
Too much fucking emo, it's false I know

She's got black hair
And she has got a black dress
She's pretending
That her life is a mess
She stops me in the street
And asks me to follow
I would if I could
If I wouldn't mind breaking her.
Passing bird, Katatonia.

Hmm, so I was lazing around the house roaming clueless on Thursday when I got a text saying, I'm reaching Bangalore tomorrow, when can I meet you?. The answer to that was, anytime anyday. :)

Best post Christmas surprise gift EVER!!!

2 Years and history repeats itself. :P But this time around I'm THE one in Bangalore. Heh. ;)

How a simple turn of an event on 24th of December' 06, almost changed our lives. :)

I give up, enough is enough.

Merry Christmas to everyone. :)

I'm always supposed to have good days.

And when others are not, then I am the one who should be understanding. This is bloody hilarious, that I have to pretend to be what I am not in front of my friends.


I'm not supposed to be acting cribby
I'm not supposed to be insecure
I'm always supposed to have good days
I'm always supposed to be understanding.

They hit below the belt and then they say it's not personal. Of course it's not personal, it's never personal, then why talk, can you just not excuse yourself when you are in a bad mood?

I can. I'm always careful about what I say to people, and especially friends.

Blah, this isn't about you, Satan.
Not even about Rich and the giant.

I feel the tension.. all the time, and then you say, you ain't pissed off. You are beginning to sound more and more like the one I hate.

Ha fucking ha

The sweetest guy wakes up at six thirty in the morning and makes Rich breakfast to take it to office and makes us coffee. :)

Oh and this isn't about you SATAN.

The retards at two o'clock in the morning, when the last thing on your mind is sleep. :)


But but on a very very annoying note, I've removed people off Orkut, the keywords are 'I removed,' I've changed my blog url so that, they don't follow me around.. but in the world of too many mutual friends, you have a hard life to lead, and people always track you down and blame you for writing a post or two about them. Big fucking deal, eh? Obsession isn't the right word. I'm just disgusted, I guess it doesn't come across as disgusting, people get hold of MY friends, and then bitch about me to them, and then think I don't know whats going on, and blame me for my obsession. I say look at yourself, look hard and you'll know, where you stand. Easy to understand, DON'T FUCKING TALK ABOUT ME, DON'T FUCKING READ MY BLOG AS IF IT'S YOUR BIBLE, AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST, GET OVER ME, IT'S HIGH TIME.

Oh and I'm perfectly happy here, I work and I EVEN have a lot of time to waste, so what, if you are interested go ride on a li'l finger and then think twice and talk, especially when it concerns me.

And for billionth time, Satan this post is NOT about you.

Leave ME alone, argh!

PS: I have nothing to do with you (not Satan) and anyone in your circle, isn't it obvious????

Barely slept for three hours last night and to consider it was my off. Got a phone call around late eveningish, which made me go down on my knees and cry. Called a friend also and cried. :(

I cannot handle deaths, and I do not know how this is going to be. I don't want '87, '97 and '98 to be repeated, I'm still young. I fight and I talk shite, and I say I've seen the world and have grown up a lot, but when I think about 'that,' I'm very much an inexperienced kid. :(

Whenever I fight, I shudder to think, it'll be the last. I shudder to think, every call I make, will be the last. I shudder to think the world without you. I'm just plain scared. Really scared. If I haven't lost this battle, that is because you are with me, I love you. :( :(

I cannot continue, if you ain't with me. It's too early. Who am I going to experience my first timers with? I'm yet to have so many first timers. You've taught me so many things. 10th June' 91, still makes me cry. I miss you Gubli, Gubli stuck on right? So many names, so many things. So many fights, so many stories, so many laughter, so many lessons, we've learnt together.

When they were taking my away dad, I was standing up on the choto jaanla, cried and asked everyone where they were taking him. :( Daddy. From thereon, whenever we'd have Open house/PTM, I'd see everyone's dad and think where is mine, but then you'd come along and I'd forget him in an instant and come running up to you, and smother ye with kisses, I'd never have a dad complex. I don't want to feel that feeling ever again. I see no light, no path, I feel directionless without you. Despite all the arguments, I've always admired you, because you are one person who has lived up to everyone's expectations. :)

Hmmmmm.. *scratches chin*

We read each others' blog. So fucking, what?! I read a lot of people's blog.

Impossible to get over myself, as someone recently mentioned, Apparently I'm too full of myself, and this guy, isn't even a friend. Gak.

Conclusions, hmm.

Who says, you ain't allowed to think of the person you hate? Where is it written? Infact, keep your enemies the closest. Always :)

Now I have to think of the blog morons, before I type a word, here.

Sigh!
Whatever happened to freedom of expression?

Guha is back in town and I shall meet him most probably on Thursday. :) I thought I'd miss him and PM at work, but luckily, I didnot. I have stopped missing people, actually I've just realized, it's not the people I miss, it's the things that I've done with them, that I miss.

December is the month I feel very nostalgic about, at least I've started to. I was suddenly thinking about a funny incident with KK and the others in '04. :) I dont even know why I thought about KK.

Well lessons learnt, good or for that matter bad things should never be forgotten about.

But, now I'm wondering, what is Rich's clothes, that too a bag full of clothes, doing in Shion Guha's room. Khek khek khek.

More suspense, later.
I have work.. and I need to shleeeeeeeeeeep. :P

What is all this, ekdom jata!! :( :(

Every one is going to Delhi, I already know six people, who are going there just for fun this winter. Nobody takes me anywhere. ::(


This is NOT DONE. :'(