I think, I am finally living for myself.
I'll figure that out soon. :) :)

Till now.

Bittermoon
Foxfire
The life before her eyes
Crazy/beautiful
Beautiful Kate
10 things I hate about you
9 1/2 weeks

So, tomorrow it is.

Finally the day.
Flight at 9:30 am.

Calcutta to Pune. :( :'(

Woah !!

OMG !! So, I introduced UNO to her, and I think she liked it, frankly I didn't think she would, she is very restless. But last night was so good and crazy, she threw both of us down, we were so buzzed with the home made Vodka Martini, boy !!
V, be the mahn !!

I have not been happy drunk in a while, the more I drink the more I get sick and throw up and pass out, but last night was relaxing, nice and trippy very trippy, with music and you. :P

.. and that song Love the way you lie., where we were just glued to the screen, boy !!

Oh, I love you too. :)

One.

My name is Ninth on the stack.
Fark !! I'm like SO thrilled. :) Jeez !! Wow. How did, I just achieve that ?

And if we were in RHS' team, I'd be actually on the third. Ohmahn !! *goes absolutely crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*

I did it, I did it.
Now, they know. Fucking PCCP. Yes, you did fuck us all (TA), but I'm going to show you, you messed with the wrong one. IPP. :P

And how am I to just, mug up CSPR, it's a fucking Bible. Jeez. So much of work, but I enjoy this.

It's one year at work, today.

So, I want Shepards Pie, with some red wine, for once not the usual, White. :P

Partaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay !!

Listening to my maid talk shit at 9:30 in the morning, today.





'Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones, worth suffering for.'
Blah, as if I don't already know this. :|

Uhm, the date's been set. It's the 31st Aug. I will miss you, and this week's been really good, and today is going to be great. :)
Why can't friends be better with dates ?

Don't they know, I don't like that date.

I do not like 31st Aug, and now I have one more reason to not like it ever more.
Twenty three. Wow.

Just how did we survive ? ;) Only, we know. :D

Fades like a photographhhhhh

Photographs taken, like memories of you, they disappear.
Colors of your eyes, they fade with time; they just can't stay clear.


Family.
I mean, extended family. They do not stick to you for long.

Words, I tell you..
Blah.

So, lust did last, and then it suddenly turned into unconditional love. :P

Nine.
Mammoth.
El secreto de sus ojos.
Quills.
District 9.
Hangover.

Okay, why have I NOT yet told my mother about the Australian contract ?

I guess, I am waiting, for the good news.

So, Tech lead or Technical writer ?
Frankly, I don't know.

Two songs, I am tripping on from, last evening.

Wonderful life- Hurts
First day- Timo Mass.


But, you must really manipulate to get your stuff done. I could not, that's why, so much of it is undone.

Cavannagh

Now that you are there, nothing else matters.
I think, I will make it. :)

Meltdown.


You can ask/do/say absolutely anything, and it's only the last word you say, that someone is supposed to consider. Everything else is to be washed away. Life doesn't have a CRTL+Z. Get that clear ?

Who could call my name without regretting,
Who could promise to never destroy me.


Of course, it is going to end. Of course, it's three and a half.
It always stops at two and a half, three and a half, five and then seven.

I feel it. I know you won't leave, but I know this too, I will drive you away, unknowingly, I don't even like talking to you anymore, knowing fully well, how much you dislike me, already. You said I lied, assuming, I did, I'd just say, I did not lie at the expense of anyone, I never do that.

You say, I know that you know, that I feel you don't care for me enough.
Yes, I've ALWAYS felt that.
You say, that's for me to know, and you to show.

But when have you showed it, really ? I have never felt you love or care for me, not one bit. What's the point in me knowing it, when I've never felt it, at all. The only time I actually felt something, was the time, there wasn't love, there was something else.

Help me get over this. Don't just say that you are there for me, I know damn right you are there, I need you to drag me out of it, drag me out of my personal hell. Can you ?

You say, I'm being extremely mean, perhaps I am, but I am not aware of that, talk to me, point it out.
You say, I've changed, but I have not. I care for you all the same, and I am never mean to you, I'd die than be mean to you. If I have changed, show me two things, and in turn, I will show seven more and prove you wrong.

You say, I need to take time off. Maybe, I need to. Perhaps.
So, I'm off for a while. You'll know where to find me, you always do.

You are the only person, I've met in this life, who feels a lot like me. Yet, I wish, we had talked. I wish you had let me talk, and not hang up the phone. I wish, you were there when I had cried and not said, 'Oh please, don't start crying, now.'

I miss your mails. You should write to me, sometimes. Maybe ?

I really need to go.

And you don't know everything. How I wish.

..and then she left. Just like that.

She said, I don't care.
And she did not, and she made sure, I saw that. And I did.

It will never be the same..

Is it providence or just plain dumb luck when at the lowest point in which, you must simply accept the fact that one of the most perfect symbiotic relationships has ended and that a new face appears and suddenly I'm captivated ?

This is not the same.

This time, I feel nothing. Is it in reality nothing or is this, the opportunity that I tried too hard and missed ?

This is not the same.

It feels so familiar.

This is not the same.

I will not turn this into that. You are unique, individual. I will take this for who you are in this moment, not picking up where another left off. But it will be difficult.

This is not the same.

Okay, I accept. I cannot pick up on subtle hints anymore, I know they are there, but I just don't know which one to feed one. :(

Enough is enough. :|

Heavenly creatures.
La vie en rose.
The human centipede.
Shelter.
The Orphan.
The painted veil.

I'm still wishing for a miracle, it's just that, it's different from what I wanted last week.

A lot changed, changing..

I don't understand this frankly, and I need a sign. C'mon, I need it. ;)
Change my life, and I think you can do it. Four years, and I want something different. This time, YOU do it, while I sit around waiting.

*looks at the phone*
Here we go again.. :P

You think you know someone, right?
Maybe you never did, and how that scares you
I'll shut my mouth for you
Just like your friend would do..

I love you.

Let down !!

Okay, so ?

Now, I feel really let down. For the past so many months, I had listened to you, I did not do the things you did not want me to do, I did not speak to the person you did not want me to speak to, I did not meet people because you had asked me not to.

And now what ?
I just should NEVER have listened to you. WHAT THE FUCK !! Just, what the fuck.

I'm not pissed. I'm just upset and so many other things.
You, are super happy.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SW, I wish you were here. I FUCKING NEED YOU. I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED YOU.

The constant gardener.
The blind side.
Lantana.
An education.
Case 39.
Into the wild.
The unborn.

You will remember and, I will forget.

It's happening.

It was stupid of me to trust anyone. It was stupid. Conned I am, yet again.

I move.

A very happy birthday to you, Snow. :)