Hands sliding
On the steering wheel
Can't seem to get a grip
Those sweaty palms
Nothing in that book could advise me
Not even in the book of Psalms

21 years from the date of my birth
My personal Easter, a resurrection
Given life again
After a close-call
A brush with death
I could feel it breathing down my neck
But I chose to steer away
From an unknown course that scared me
I couldn't look Death in the eyes

I thought I had seen the light
But it was only the four lanes of
Car headlights beaming my way at night
What should have been a disaster
Ended in a silent stand still
It could have been much worse

Driving away from the scene
The scene that became a show
For onlookers watching the maneuverings
Of a man who had lost control
Driving away in silence with
No scratches, just tire-rubber
On the interstate's pavement
Surfaced
Getting away somehow
And wondering minutes later
If the soon-to-be passing of lives
Really transpired
Did that all, just really happen?

Intuition made the choice here
Questioning if his guidance
Either helped me
Or hindered me
Maybe neither
But it forced me to make the choice
The decision was to use my intuition
Steering clear from death's door

Trina, you're a Romantic Kisser

When, is it warm in here or is that just you? When it comes to kissing, you get your drive from the lure of romance. For you, it's more than a meeting of the lips. You appreciate kissing for the rush and for what it symbolizes. Long-stemmed roses, candlelight dinners, and weekend retreats to bed and breakfasts. Sound about your speed?

You're a kissing partner who can go beyond the sweet surrender of locking lips to discuss the meaning of relationships. To really express yourself, you're probably one who's concerned with setting the proper mood. You might light a fire or take your baby to a beautiful lookout before cuddling and kissing. You probably like to make a lot of eye contact, gently hug and touch your baby, and talk tenderly about your feelings.

While your intensions are pure, your intensity might sometimes be a little overwhelming. Don't forget that being playful can also be a sign of affection, and remember, sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.

You know?

I hear every word,

even after I cover my ears

my heart breaks,

with every syllable

my soul cries,

when my eyes have shed their due.



I think back on times,

when I would get smacked

for no reason

and wish you would slap me now,

it would hurt

…a whole lot less.



I often wonder,

just how much one can imagine…

It doesn’t take creativeness,

or imagination,

to know the darkness of such

…unspoken pain.



I lay here,

feeling compelled,

to taking your lashing,

wishing every moment

your voice box would break.



It stings me, deeply

and I have no escape,

but to only love you,

because without you

…who would ever love me?



And so, these bindings

wrap themselves around me,

tighter and tighter,

until I can not breathe

and yet in my fury

…I can not hate you.



I only hate death,

for not binding me,

not embracing me,

as I would embrace death,

but, it remains elusive

…just like everything else.



Except the pain,

of a broken spirit lost,

spiraling out of control,

in this homemade…



…..Misery!

Damage control.Damage repair

So much on my mind, it's in overload and I pretty much exploded. The smoke is clearing and I have a fuck of a lot of work to do.

If I bite off more than I can chew, I'm doomed to failure.

How much should I bite off at once though?

Don't answer that, retards.

IJUSTWANTYOUTOKNOWWHOIAM
I	is for	Important
J	is for	Joyous
U	is for	Upbeat
S	is for	Slippery
T	is for	Twisted
W	is for	Wide-eyed
A	is for	Alert
N	is for	Naughty
T	is for	Tender
Y	is for	Young
O	is for	Optimistic
U	is for	Unreal
T	is for	Trendy
O	is for	Old
K	is for	Kind
N	is for	Nervy
O	is for	Outrageous
W	is for	Wicked
W	is for	Warm
H	is for	Humorous
O	is for	Overwhelming
I	is for	Ideal
A	is for	Artistic
M	is for	Mystical

What Does Your Name Mean?

They hide in the crevices of

…One’s mind

Lurking in the shadows of

…Despair



Inside the dark corridors of one’s heart

Lies the nameless;

Faceless in all its morbid glory

Just awaiting the moment when one will

…Act



Its like a game

There are no virtues…

Here.

The virtuous are weak

And I the meek grab at hands that

…Aren’t even there



I hold onto nothing

Because with nothing

I can not go wrong

To have something;

Anything, means to

…Lose it all



I haven’t much left of myself

To give away

Let alone, allow these dominions

To take it from me

…Whatever that may be



You can see them sometimes

The embodiment of hatred,

Anger,

And futile efforts of those deemed

…Lost on humanity



They survive on discord

Their rapture is to take the very

…Heart of a man

And I…

Stand in front of this mirror

With no image



No persona

No identity

Nothing to call me, or my

…Own

As if I am nothing



Caged and soulless

Perhaps forgotten

But, not…

…Undone

Never that.



So, I remain dominated in

Life’s tedious game

Alone… Yes.

Ashamed… Definitely.

Whole… Never!

Just me, for whatever that’s worth.

Over

You gave me a precious gift
then you took it back from me
my faith in love has been destroyed
blinded by love I could not see

You abandoned me like I never mattered
to me you were so cruel
you took my heart and tore it apart
forgetting all love's rules

You took my love for granted
you gave me a chance to win
the falseness of all this security
made loving you a sin

How many tears do I have to cry
till I can hold me head up high
I never thought you would leave me alone
and watch me slowly die

The truth is now on my side
and all you have is deceit
Take a bow...... the act is over
Let's pretend we did not meet

Back for good..

To have heard of love would be to have seen Heaven. I knew not sight, smell, touch, nor feel of such a thing. I did doth dream; a woman to whom I could love. Scenes of love from movies like Pretty Woman, Barefoot in the Park, and Serendipity. I always could be found wishing for such; that which I have now. And I have seen Heaven; love fills your life of it, though it may only be a small glimpse, Love does give you wings.



She found I

For I never opened my eyes

She stole my heart

And saw through my lies



A first kiss

She did give to me

Now she is

All I can see



She saw me

And changed my life

Pulled me from hell

Replaced with love, my strife



How can an Angel

Love such a Cure

All I know

Is that I love her...


How to say I Love You in 100 Languages


English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te duaArabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)- "Amin mela lle" (thanks Becca!)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe (Thanks Craig)
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer (Thanks Nadine! x2)
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

To have heard of love would be to have seen Heaven. I knew not sight, smell, touch, nor feel of such a thing. I did doth dream; a woman to whom I could love. Scenes of love from movies like Pretty Woman, Barefoot in the Park, and Serendipity. I always could be found wishing for such; that which I have now. And I have seen Heaven; love fills your life of it, though it may only be a small glimpse, Love does give you wings.



She found I

For I never opened my eyes

She stole my heart

And saw through my lies



A first kiss

She did give to me

Now she is

All I can see



She saw me

And changed my life

Pulled me from hell

Replaced with love, my strife



How can an Angel

Love such a Cure

All I know

Is that I love her...


how to say "I love you" in 100 languages.English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)- "Amin mela lle" (thanks Becca!)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe (Thanks Craig)
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer (Thanks Nadine! x2)
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

Damn, i just had the most awesome valentine's idea ever.

Why am i so brilliant and thoughtful, i'd love to know.Lolz.

Outside of this journal, i never ever ever open up,only probably to my best friend. I hide everything from everyone i know, because i don't want to seem weak. Yes, everyone goes through some shit in their lives, but i'd just rather keep my shit to myself.

Lat night i actually let that wall down. Last night, i let someone know about my past, something i never done because i live for the present. I always feel like i'm saying too much, or that the other person doesn't want to hear what i'm saying, but last night, someone actually asked me, and wanted to know about me. It's a strange feeling to always be that girl that everyone comes to for advice, but never having anyone genuinely want to know about you.

Here's how i will rationalize it. we shared something. He told me about his girlfriend who passed away, he read me stuff from the journal he kept when she was alive. Very emotional stuff, i'd say. Then i talked about my father,grandmum and my uncle, very emotional stuff, no doubt. So i'll say that something like that links people. I'll say that, and i'll stick by it.

It's probably normal, though, that i have a sneaking suspicion that i should not have let my guard down in the way i did.

"Love is a beautiful dream." ~William Sharpe

Gonna write on that sometime soon.

Ya know what i'm tired of? Girls thinking valentine's day is their special day.
News Flash: It isn't called "women's day." You can expect special treatment, but damn, don't leave the guys to do all the work.

This is where the unicorn runs across the screen, and "the more you know" is trailing behind him, with a rainbow under it.

Any guy that would be bold enough to buy ME something for valentine's day would definitely get my attention.
HA!

There are many days

When I feel pathetic

Worthless

Seems as though

I will never get pass this



I fear that I have fallen

Into the redundancy

Of life

But

Deep down

I know even that is not right



I repeat the same words

Inhale another breath

Voice the same opinions

But I know this to be the right road

Despite this chaotic spin I am in



To follow this

To follow that

Turn back

Move forward

Will I ever know if I am on track?



To becoming more

To regret less

To rise above

All the pain and loss

To finding in myself

My one true love



To becoming

ME......!

In the worst way

I need to remain focused

Give up this will to die

Accept a will to live

Do I really need to know why?



My sense of belonging

Of fitting in, Long ago

Was taken away

'Special' was a bad word

But

That is exactly how I wish to feel today



Not dirty

From being used

Unworthy

From my ability to comply

Nor OBSCENE!



Just to feel like…

SOMEBODY!



Do you know what I mean?

I don't know what happened, or how it happened, but it was good.Who knows where it leads from here, but who cares tonight was a beautiful night.

here i am
patiently waiting for you to name me,
your prince charming
i've fought the dragons of passion
slayed the giants of blind compliance
i've made my stand against whole armies of naysayers
bards across the land lovingly sing my praises
but here i am
after the odyssey, i'm back to you
my penelope, i only fought to preserve your memory
but i've faced no enemy quite like your judging stare
but your eyes, star spangled majesty that they are
they divulge the truth, and i know the love is there

playing around with subjects.

i've seen plans built up, only to crumble in disaster
but i've never met with a sinlge happily ever after
i've kissed some sleeping beauties, saved damsels from distress
defeated a couple beasts, evil wizards are lain to rest
according to fairy tales and stories of fantasy
i should be livin handsomely under love's canopy
but i can't stand to see what is really reality
everything's truly a gamble, there's never a guarantee
and i'ts not just me, everyone's panicking frantically
trying to find their soul mate, some for love, some lustfully
if only it were as easy as climbing a ponytail
or kissing a reptilian prince, then we wouldn't fail
if only fate stepped in a little more actively
to lead us towards our destinations, ever afters, happily

New frame of mind looped and playing . . .

And it has come to this, a cold night with nothing more than your smiles to cover my nakedness. We wished that you had left before it all started to go south but our mouths were just flowering cactus gardens and our proposed dreams nothing more than crushed gravel meanderings. You said to pick up the slack and man did we. We worked all those extra hours and sat down to small grey walls with our lunch pails on our knees and eyes primed to the hour hand. And when you said create art we did, not knowing what art actually was so we scribbled and we screamed and we splattered each other over canvases that stretched entire city blocks. Our dreams never seemed to come out like the back of our paint by numbers box and you said darling that it'd be all right, well I've been waiting here love for more than a few hours and it seems like I can't even remember the COLOR OF YOUR EYES, just the shape of your breath! Our laughs echoed down subway tunnels and returned to us with hints of sunken cities and lies that grew wings and strategems in dark buried places. Secrets roam the streets these days and we believe them to be gods! Yes I am now an acolyte to more than three deities and juggling altar, incense and sacrifice makes up for none of those overtime hours. I wish you were here my love but that post card you sent was quite magnificent. You always think of the little touches and I've forgotten how they felt.

"A paitent plea"

Be still and wait,

Concentrate. Do not run

Into something

That has not yet begun.

Enjoy you age

And do not wage war

To form a life

So quick to strife.

Be still.

You’ll find your wife

And more.



Before you speak,

Wake up and speak

Truth and honesty

And to not be weak

To mindless passion

The cultural fashion

Of love.

Be still.

Cancel soft inhibitions,

Drown your premonitions

Of the bitter thing

You’ve called a “fling”

And sing for her

To come

While you are still