Power Rangers Movie!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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You are one cool cat. You let the good times roll
but also like to have fun but of course
slipping in that occasional cat nap.

What type of cat are you?
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How am I suppose to feel
about the emotion appeal
of something I have no feeling for.

All it takes is one step
the closer you are
the harder you fall.
Isn't reaching for you goal
a better feeling than not trying at all?

Constantly being mislabeled.
Criticized by the hypocrites.
Take a look in the mirror.
You are exactly like me
whether you want us to be.
I'm just like you
doesn't really matter
what you try to do.
Just like me
you are constantly mislabeled
and criticize by the hypocrites.
The only difference is
I stand tall to what I believe
that's the only difference between you and I.
Conforming is the only thing you see
as a worthy possibility.

You scored as Outgoing. You outgoing and you have a very friendly personality. Outgoing 56% Nice 50% Dramatic 44% Shy 44% Immature 25% Fun 25% mean 25% what kind of person are you? (shy,outgoing,fun,mean,immature,dramatic or nice?) created with QuizFarm.com

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Do I really want to know?
What this world has to offer.
Living in this cartoon show.
Laughing at others who suffer.
I close my eyes so I cannot see.
Happiness is far from free.
People living on selfish pride.
Their sins, they better hide.
Teacher's teaching. Sleeping with students?
The story is not congruent.
Father's love. Selling their own flesh?
How they’ll pay in their death.
Fed up with such suffering.
Ideas build, mind cluttering.
I’ve become too outspoken.
My road I have chosen.
A book on conspiracies.
Hidden by government beauracacy.(sp)?
It’s endless hope.
Being me is hard to cope.
They try to pay me off.
Hoping I’d cooperate.
Spread my disease as I cough.
This they cannot moderate.
They’ll see I was right.
Their day turning night.
Watch society as it falls.
Lead us into the hall.
Too materialistic? Too realistic?
Smile to my unknown.
My motives never shown.
But what do I know.
Isn’t this all just a put on show.

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do

We just had to ask
Maybe some one out of heaven
Would hear us down here

We couldn't bear to stand
How the people leave us waiting
For something up there

Oh, why did you leave?
and Why won't you come?
And save us again?

Come back to us spiders
Come uncrushed my hands
Let me sent beauty rain
And bring us love again, like you can

We just didn't know
Some one there outside of heaven
Heard us down here

We couldn't stand it here
Other people leave us longing
For something up there

Oh, why did you leave?
and Why won't you come?
And save us again?

Come back to us spiders
Come uncross my hands
Let me sent beauty rain
And bring us love again, like you can


So much time, we need to ask everything
How did it go, you need it I got it

Come back to us spiders
Come uncross my hands
Let me sent beauty rain
And bring us love again, like you can


I absoulutely love this song.
Moby-"Spiders"

Breathing :)

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the straps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

You Should Learn Spanish

For you, learning a language is about career advancement and communication. Knowing Spanish will bring you tons of possiblities for jobs and travel. Bárbaro!

What Language Should You Learn?

No title yet this is just a huge venting poem, because i've been so upset the past week and one month i've finally crossed from mopey to pissed, but just for a moment. Now this is not about anyone...it's about everything. So dont email me or leave comments like "youre a fucking bitch blah blah blah" because i am just venting this means nothing really...its just so i dont scream at all, right?



You promised you be there forever, but never even bothered to show up at all
thanks for the everything and nothing you always gave to me
one more shot rolled back, to burn it all away, maybe it'll make me forget
then lets do it over again, my life's a child's ride
merry go round, up and down
I wish you could be here but you dont even want me around
hear my voice, see my eyes, i would cry for you, but i dont think you want me to
If you dont want me just tell me dont tiptoe like high school gossip
oh i love you so much ill stab you in the back
We're all hypocrits, we all talk shit, and smile once they come back
I maybe lower than you, but you are not that much higher than me
to push me down and make me feel like i have to stay there
this all is not on me
And dont tell me you dont need me because fine then
watch me leave
I dont stand up for myself but so much is going on i have no choice but defend
something to get this hurt and pain all out, without carving into myself
when i feel this bad you're the one i want here
but by your silence, i wonder if i ever meant anything at all

"Sometimes you feel like it would be really great, and warm, and comfortable to sit curled up with someone, but it's not going to lead to a snog-fest or anything like that."
That's how I feel.
"Sometimes you want to be friends with someone forever, but only friends. And only forever."


... and that's how you feel.

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Tootsie Roll Pop

It only takes three licks to get to your center!

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Your personality is pure good. You're like an
angel, always ready to help those who...well,
need your help. You spend a lot of time
watching over the people of whom you care,
because you love them. Cheery, bright, and open
are just a few of the words that could be used
to describe you. You are the bearer of many
friends and secrets, because people trust you.
Keep up the great work!

What Kind of Person are You? [beautiful anime pics, and lengthy details, as usual!]
brought to you by

The breath of spring melted the snow. And the cycle will continue.----figuratively speaking that is

I had a dream about someone I love...and then...there was nothing I could do...
That dream brought chills into my veins. The longing, the passion, both sweet and sad. I want to make it last forever or I want to fully let go of the fear that is behind it.

Why is it that you keep your feelings to yourself? I do not want to pry, but is it so wrong to want to know you? I mean really know you. I want to know the good and the bad.
What lies behind those brown eyes?...I desire to know them...

Thank you! You have said what I had wanted to hear for such a long time. You broke down some of the bricks that I created. I'm so greatful for your kindness and sencerity.

It was the same lines over and over in this endless act.

It was easy to say around other people. It was easy to pretend. When you’re an actor, your lines are always the same. But what they never do is change the lines while still in the play. Even if doing so, it comes out into a much happier ending or a sorrowful conclusion. In the end the lines will remain intact and will be said over and over again. Why can’t they change it?
Because it ruins the show.

Strange pickup lines

He: You are very prettty. Do you have any Italian in you? She: no. He: Do you want some?
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
Be unique and different, say yes.
Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?
You know, it's not premarital sex unless you plan on getting married.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!
Save a horse -- ride a cowboy.
You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.
Excuse me I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight.
You: Can I borrow a quarter? She: why? You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
He: Excuse me, want to dance? She: No. He: Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!
He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? She : No. He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...
Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya.
I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
Hi, my name's John. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!
My name is John, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.
Wow! Are those real?
Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!
If I let you suck on my tongue would you be greatfull?
Are you a surgeon? Cause you've just took my heart away!
Have I seen you before? OH yeah it was in the dictionary under the word KABLAM!!!
You're like milk, I want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.
My pickup line was published on the Internet... Would you like to hear it.
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No?!? Damn!
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
Bond. James Bond
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself. I'm not wearing any pants.
True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't slept with you yet.
You stole my heart. But that's okay; I have another one at home in the fridge.
Do you just wanna get naked?
Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! Well in that case, D'ya wanna do lunch?
Come on baby, sex is like pizza: Even if it's bad, it's still pretty good.
Do you wanna have kids with me??? No? Then do you just wanna practice?
I wish you were a carousel at Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for just a quarter!!

Wishing you would look at me
the way you look at him,
is my only dream,
one that will never come true.
Hoping you will remember me
is my only prayer every night.
Wishing we would soon
be the only two people left
hoping you could find it in
you to want me the way
I have ALWAYS wanted you.
Wishing you were sitting here next to me
and could give me a shoulder to cry on,
as I wipe away my tears,
like you usually would.
Wishing is one thing but KNOWING
Knowing I will never have you HURTS,
more than I can bear!


Something’s never change,
Even when things get old,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.
Broken hearts and truth never told,
yearning for a kiss and someone to hold,
something’s never change.
my love for you
Wanting to be your one and only,
At the times you left me cold and lonely,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.
But today is a new day,
Nobody to blame,
Something’s never change.
my love for you.
But starting from tomorrow,
I'll spread a clean sheet over my heart,
There still exist the little things,
the lies and deceit.
I will cry no more,
Beginning my new life and opening another door,
Something’s never change,
my love for you

You are 60% Virgo

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

Heartache...

Don't you hate it when you can literally feel it?? Like there's a weight at the bottom of your heart, dragging it down, and hooks attached to both the sides, pulling it apart, while sharp shards of glass are being thrown and twisted into it.
Yes, that pretty much describes it.
I'm so tired of feeling alone, used, overlooked, left out, left behind and rejected.
It's pretty much no one's fault but my own. I'm too fucked up. Too paranoid. Too broken from past relationships. Too untrusting. Too scared of being alone. But mostly just too fucked up.
This is what I was feeling 2 days ago. I wouldn't admit it at the time, but this is how I felt.
Like I was NOTHING. I felt like I meant nothing, I was worth nothing, I was nothing.
And that's how I feel now.
...I'm being brushed (or shoved) aside again.
When will I ever learn??
I just need to pull back from everything and everyone and learn how to manage on my own.
----
By the way, for those of you who having been hearing things about me and a certain situation in the month of March... I want to set the record straight, and I also don't want to end up saying something later on about it and people finding out and thinking that I was trying to hide it- because I'm not. I don't care what people think of me now. Go on, judge me, think whatever, I don't give a shit. Actually, I'd prefer to know what you really think. So that I can weed out right away who's really the type of person that I wouldn't want involved in my life. Because this isn't the end of this. I'm not all of a sudden perfect, now that I've hit society's picture of 'rock bottom'. So, first, to clear the number one misconception up-
I wasn't trying to kill myself.
I don't know. I'm so confused about everything right now, and I barely remember anything from that day. But no, I don't think it was.
That's all I wanted to clarify.

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...But too damn weird to do anything about it!

href="How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howweirdareyouquiz/">How Weird Are You?

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self.No doubt, you are all about making good music...But what really gets you going is having an over the top show.Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

href="What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofrockerareyouquiz/">What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Pardon me while I hit the Break! You are Brandon
Boyd From Incubus. You are mellow kat and tend
to go with the flow. You enjoy spending time
with our beloved Mother Earth and writing chill
music that relfects this lifestyle. Peace be
with you hippie!

Which Rock Icon Are You Most Like?
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The little servant
lividly pale, almost calm, biting his lips
a pipel, the young boy that is under oberkapo.
who feels hatred, scarred for life,and relieved that this nightmare is almost over.
who fears living with death, the ss, and of course
death.
who would like this nightmare to end.
resident of buna
the sad-eyed angel

No more using the word "try."

Enough everyone, stop using that word... instead use the word "do." I will do it, not I will try it. I mean lets think of a few things first, we use try when we say something for ourselves to do, meaning we think we will fail. So instead, let's say we will do it, and forget about failing.
I will drive... not I will try to drive.I will kiss, not I will try to kiss...
Or how about when it comes to giving a command... try to understand? I'd rather say.. Understand me damn it!... or try to kiss me...
Okay.. the point is if you tell yourself to do something and don't care about the outcome, then do it. don't say I will try to do it... trying doesn't work, you either do or you don't. And either way, it's alright.

Think

Ever wondered what would happen if things turned out differently? Or perhaps we wouldn't be the way we are now...

To everyone and influences

Every little event that happens in any part of our lives makes us different, whether we think a little different or handle other situations differently which gives us a different idea of how to handle those situations. So every little influence has something that makes us do something different.

So think, if somehow you did something differently you would not be the same person you are today. In fact, we owe influence to society. Every little thing that society can say or do to us can influence us into thinking certain things, most of the ideas we hold are nothing but a fabrication of what society things, unless we choose to deviate away from it.

Now don't get me wrong...

There are many people who do what society tells them to, and are still good people. But they are good people who don't realize that society is controlling the way they think. Yet at the same time it's hard to tell if what we are thinking has anything to do with what society wants us to think... it's a difficult situation isn't it?

So what's on your mind at this moment? Are you going to think this over and see how much control society has over you, or are you just going to shrug this off and continue to live uncaring?

Think again.

You're dark, twisted and gorgeous, Angelina Jolie.


What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla

Philosophy of the world...

The idea that the world goes by day by day, and is brought to influences by matters unseen... here's how it works... every influence from society affects each person. Every influence, big or small, they affect us... yet... we feel we can justify ourselves based on this. I know the world is diverse, but where do we draw the line between openess and insanity? Where?

How do we as humans propose to control and make justified things that were once cruel... or how do we consider something cruel without an ultimate authority... why am I inferior in thinking simply because I think different?

And why isn't my own authority on the subject valued enough to be seen.. how can something be considered good if not everyone agrees... and how is it we cannot agree on anything as humans?

I want to die...

Every day I see these humans, mortals, people who are "equal" doing things that are utterly stupid. And then they justify it by saying it's okay, they are mature... like hell you are!

Maturity is based on growth to age not attitude. Some people are always going to be idiots, it does not mean they are mature... it means they are just idiots who think to rationalize their own demise. Denial in society is a huge problem, yet people constantly go into it..

If I am in denial, I deny it no further, I am angry at the world and want to leave it. I suffer trying to co-exist, and yet at the same time, I know what I am.... Mortal... and as a mortal I still suffer...

Rationalization...

A man is talking with his wife, he gets angry and beats his child, and the child is scarred, and the man says it's not his fault because his wife made him angry... or that he isn't at as much fault because he was angry...

That's rationalization. That's what we do everday... that's normal... that's a defense mechanism we use to defend ourselves... and, that's pathetic.

Why do people rationalize?

Now I'm sure we've all heard the concept of "it's okay" to do such and such, because of such and such... or... "There's nothing wrong with..." blah blah blah... there is something wrong, and it's by rationalization that people say there is nothing wrong.

The reason people rationalize and say things are okay... so they feel better about themselves. So they can think "as long as Mr. S over here is worse, I'm okay."

Well... Mr. S doesn't exist because Mr. S is just a little thing called self-denial. Don't deny something just because it makes yourself look bad... instead learn to change.

The lies about change...

I hear this all the freaking time, and quite frankly I'm angry. People say changing is impossible, or that they cannot change because it is not who they are. They say many things from "everyone else does it, so it has to be okay" to "I can't help it if I am this way."

I say... "you lie."

If you wish not to change... remain pitiful. I have changed over and over, many times, and I do not fear it. On many issues, I have changed when I was given a new perspective... some things however stay permanent in me.
But I myself have changed an incredibly large amount of times.

Change is hard, not impossible, remember that.

Don't short change yourself if you are afraid to try and change. Don't let your emotions harm you... don't let others tell you that you cannot change.

Change is hard.... because it is only you who can orchestrate it. The individual can't change unless the individual wants to change.

If you are weak, become strong.
If you are poor, become rich.
If you are dumb, become intelligent.

No change comes without hard work, every deed is 10% inspiration 90% perspiration.

Now this is why I hate Rationalization

And my whole point comes to this... anyone who says they cannot change only say it because they are afraid to change. Or because they feel they are good enough already through Rationalization. It is because they rationalize their own existence that they do not feel it necessary to become better...

I've had a constant struggle with rationalization, until I came to the realization there is no one to compare myself to. There are only two things to live by... morals and dreams. If I say I cannot be moral, I am rationalizing because I don't want to be moral, not because I can't be moral. If I do not chase my dreams, it's not because I don't want to chase them.... it is because I tell myself I am no good, and unable to do so.

Let no one stand in your way... let no rationalization prevent you from change. Do what must be done... not what the program says. I've said it once, and I'll say it always... don't let society make you feel inferior, and don't short change society on the great person you can be.

Money can't buy me happiness, but it sure hell can buy me some time.

The smallest of words is meant to make up for my actions

Those actions that caused such pain

I wish I could make that word more powerful

I wish it could reiterate my shame.



Through loving you I have faltered,

In many different ways

But I wish to make it up to you

As we stay together for many, many days.



This word holds a thousand promises

But the one I make is true

However, my promise of sorrow has no meaning,

Unless it is coupled by, “I love you”.



My promise I intend to keep

To you for a lifetime

My darling please believe me

And tell me that our light still shines…

Have you ever wondered what hurt more? Saying something and wishing you hadn't..or saying nothing and wishing you had?

sorry for not trying hard enough!
sorry for not being myself.
sorry for not able to self-control myself.
sorry for pushing you to the edge.
sorry for not giving your space to think.
sorry for ever telling you my feelings.
sorry for making you confused.
sorry for how things have changed the way they are now.
sorry for not being able to go back and fix everything up.
sorry for not letting you have your 'moment' to think about it.
sorry for stirring you up.
sorry for not stopping you assuming things.
sorry for all the days tht i was down and not being able to put on my fake smile and pretend everything are freaking fine!
sorry for not wanting to talk.
sorry for pretending i was fine when deep down i'm not.
sorry for lying to you right in your face.
sorry for sugar coating things.
sorry for hurting your feelings when i don't mean to.
sorry for being moody.
sorry for talking too much.
sorry for commenting too much.
sorry for building walls between you and me.
sorry for dragging you down when i am upset.
sorry for not being able to keep all my sadness behind my smile.
sorry for being sorry.

Do you know how much it KILLS me when something is troubling you and you are not willing to tell me? i know i should give you space to think about it.. but it kills me when i can't see your smile! Maybe it's best for me to just cover the facts and pretend that everything's okay. I'll respect your space and privacy and i won't be pushie anymore. i'll just silently hope tht you'll tell me wht is troubling your mind. good-bye to my sanity and hello to my insanity!

I wish things were back to the way they used to be..

I will hope and pray that when I awake someday

The pain and sorrow of the many and the few

Will be something I can say I never knew.

Forbidden feelings. It’s completely normal to feel this way actually. I am not suggesting that everyone should hope that something bad would happen to others, it’s just, it’s a way some people ( I think is everyone, even though most people deny it) to feel good about themselves. And trust me, you wouldn't even know, they are feeling that inside because they don’t act upon them. Example, how many times you have said “serves her right” or “I know this would happen” to celebrities whose marriage goes down to pit fall and sometimes last only for 24 hours? Just because they are not close to you don’t justify your act, but you don’t feel ashamed of yourself, do you? Life isn’t always fair to everyone, and sometimes in order to completely feel the success, you have to go through paths which are not so comforting.

I'm sitting on the floor trying to tell them the truth when i start crying. I remember crying a year ago in front of them and how i hid my face. I can't imagine i'm doing this. I want so badly to push mom away. I want to scream at her for being right. I want to say fuck you and it kills me even more because she understands me this time and she believes me. I've never sobbed. I'm sobbing. My throat closes and i can't breathe and i cry so hard until i surrender and tell them okay, okay..and my voice is shaking and i hardly know it's mine. I cant look up and i close the door and tell them i just want to be alone and for the first time in my life mom understands.. and i'm in the dark crying against the computer when my little brother wraps his arms around me.. and it's killiing me and it feels so good and i want to pull myself away but i let him hug me. I scroll through songs as he hugs me and hugs me and this hurts, this hurts so much and i feel like i'm loosing dignity for the first time, the first time i ever let him see me cry like this. I sob until i am shaking and he holds me like only a little brother can do and i let him, and i let him see these tears and i think, this is the first time i've ever let them take care of me and i feel so little and protected and it feels so good to let my gaurds down for the first time in my life..
and i wonder if this is what it feels like to let them love, finally let them love me for the first time in my life.

It feels like rain drops..this fluttering. I even have to press my hand to my heart, like i'm playing the cliche script to it's fullest. But i have to make sure..decipher this perfect escape that's holding me so gently, catching for my breath that's tripping against my rib cage. Free, uncage me, i think..
and, and what is this, i murmer..what is it...my whole mind feeling placed on a gentle hold; and inside i tremble so slightly, a tremble that flutters against the concave of my stomach..makes it's way down my body

I am your daughter, right? So i can't hate you. Maybe i can just hate being around you..
I settle on that as my answer.
To no one in particular.
I wonder how many Alone People think these thoughts..

She yells at me for drinking coffee at 8:30 pm.
The sun's setting, i'm wishing it was easier to tip toe backwards and shuffle the day into a neat little box, plastic folds, a return address to somewhere far away.

Wishing thought after thought, like a paint-by-number with my life in tact..a confused question on my face fading into a dull clasp of hands to excuse myself from sanity..
Place my palm on your mouth and
-please,
quiety i would say,
-please shut up.

Bored

x. What's your name?: Trina
x.Birthplace : Calcutta
x.Current location : In front of my computer
x.Age ::: ...21
x.Age you act : older or younger. sometimes 25, sometimes 12, sometimes 5
x.Eye color : black
x.Hair color : Brown.
x.Right, lefty or ambidextrous? : Right
x.Zodiac sign? : Virgo
x.Height? ::: 5'2 i think, im short

[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
x.Your heritage/nationality : Indian
x.Your hair : Short,straight
x.Your fears: spiders, having no one i can really trust or turn to, having the one person i love push me away
x.What you practically do in a day : wake up, eat, chill out, check email, watch movies, browse internet,hang out with my best friend.

[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
x.Words you overuse : Whatever,fuck it.
x.Your first thought when you wake up : I wonder if the person i like is awake.
x.accomplishment : finding friends that love me and having some one that loves me
x.Something you want to do with your life: Travel to New Zealand and Uk and have my dream job.

[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
x.Pepsi or Coke : None
x.Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera : Christina
x.Chocolate or vanilla : chocolate
x.Adidas or Nike : Nike
x.Black or white : Black
x.Burgers or hot dogs : Burgers
Egypt or France : France
x.Rock or rap : Depends.

[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
x.Smoke : Yeah
x.Cuss : Yea
x.Sing well : No
.Sing in the shower : yea, so does everybody
x.Talk to yourself : Everyone does a little
x.Believe in yourself : Yep
x.Like taking these longass surveys? : yea
x.Play an instrument : No
x.Want to go to college? : Too late
x.Want to get married? : yea
x.Want to have children? : yea
x.Think you're a health freak? : yea, sometimes
x.Get along with your parents : no
x.Get along with your siblings? : Have none
x.Think you're popular : with the people that care about me

[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
x.Gone out of the city: yea
x.Drank alchohol : hehe
x.Smoke : duh..uh
x.Get high : kinda
x.Done any drugs : Weed and hash
x.Been on stage : yeah,school
x.Been dumped :: Yep
x.Dyed your hair : yeah
x.Stolen anything : Not that i know of

[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
x.Craziest : Kulsum
x.Loudest : Mansi
x.Most shy : Me
x.Smartest : Kulsum and Sajani
x.Kindest : Ria
x.Best personality : Ponch
x.Most talented : Kulsum and Ponch certainly
x.Best singer : Ponch and Anasuya
x.Drama Queen : Ming
x.Pain in the ass : Ming
x.The one you want to strangle to death literally:Ming,as of now,i am way too pissed off with him.
x.Funniest : Ming,i thought,but it was all fake
x.Dependable : Noone,myself,am the best
x.Trustworthy : Ponch and anasuya
x.Person you've known the longest : From the present gang Kulsum 8 years.
x.Most Athletic.x: Aansuya,i think

[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
x.Last dream : i dont want to talk about it
x.Car ride : today
x.Last time you cried : i am way too pissed now..i want revenge
x.Last movie seen : Mr. and Mrs. Smith
x.Last movie rented : ummmm.... none
x.Last book read : Edgar Allan Poe's collection of poems and short stories.
x.last word said : You back in towm?
x.Last curse word said : Asslicker,pansy
x.Last time you laughed : a few hours back
x.Last phone call : two hours back
x.Last song you listened to : Kaal dhamaal
x.annoyance : noise(continuouse, loud, ringone)someone calling..ugh..
x.Last IM : hmmm... Nandini
x.Last person you hugged : Mandy
x.Last person you yelled at : Ming
x.Last time you've been evil : Now
x.Sarcastic? : Now
x.Last time you fought with your parents : Last week
x.Last time you wished upon a star: Last year
x.played Truth or Dare : Beginning of this year
x.Spent quality time alone : now

[x] Part 9 -- Randomness [x]
x.Are you talking to someone on Msn : Nandini
x.Do you feel lonely : kinda sorta..
x.How about egging someone's house : hmm,nihce
x.Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? : Yeah
x.Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you?: Yeah
x.Any secret fetishes? : Hair and lips..and thin guys with specs
x.How many languages do you speak? : 3

[x] Part 10 --LAST PERSON WHO [x]
x. Slept in your bed: Other than me,my best friend.
x. Saw you cry: Ponch again
x. You shared a bed with: Ponch
x. Made you cry: Ponch
x. You held hands with: Mandy and ponch
x. Spent the night with: Myself
x. You shared a drink with: Sujana,Aps,Ritesh,Vicky,Mandy and Joy
x. Kissed you: Rachel
x. Yelled at you: a person i love very much
x. Sent you an email: Sajani
x. You kissed: ..and i aint mentioning that here

k
[x] Part 11 -- HAVE YOU EVER... [x]
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it? ohhh yes
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: yeah
x. Been to New York: no
x. Florida: no
x. California: no
x. Hawaii: no
x. Mexico: no
x. China: no
x. Canada: no
x. Danced naked: hehe.. a LONG time ago,yeah alone.
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: happens all the time
x. Wished you were the opposite sex: HELL YEAH!!
x. Had an imaginary friend: used to,as a kid.
x. Things you like in a girl/guy: honest and open, sweet, funny, being true to one's self,can hold a conversation.
x. Do you have a crush on someone: im in love with someone
x. Worst feeling in the world: when someone you love pushes you away, being alone, regret
x. Future daughter's name: Never thought about it
x. Future son's name: Moksh
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.
x. What's under your bed: alot of junk
x. Favorite sport to watch: Wresting with someone ;)x. Siblings: none
x. Piercings/tattoos: ears... soon to be my belly button.. and a tattoo on my left arm.


EXTRA STUFF
x. Do you drink: Yeah gin.
x. Who is your best friend: Ponch and Kk
x. What clothes do you sleep in: shorts and a tee
x. Where do you want to get married: Nz
x. Who do you really hate: Ming
x. Been in Love: i am now
x. Do you have a job: not yet
x. Do you like being around people: yes
x. Are you for world peace: sure

STUFF
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: yes
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Thin guys,knows how to play guitar and has specs
x. Want someone you don't have right now: yes
x. Ever afraid you'll never get married: no, if i dont get married, i dont get married.
x. Do you want to get married: yes
x. Do you want kids: yes

FAVORITE
x. Type(s) of music: Alternative and some pop
x. Color: black
x. Perfume or cologne: Tommy Hilfiger
x. Month: May,March and September


IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
x. Cried: No,too pissed to cry
x. Bought something: yea,biscuits..have been hungry
x. Gotten sick: no
x. Sang: yes
x. Said "I Love You": Lemme think..err no..
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes,all the fucking time
x. Met someone new: yea
x. Talked to someone: yes
x. Missed someone: yes
x. Hugged someone: yea
x. Kissed someone: like i said,not answering that.

What kinda kisser are you?

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Freaky Kisser

When you kiss, you want to experience something new A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

The Past, Present, and Future Shadows

No real explanation, its just a thought on my past, present, and future. The first stanza, obviously, is about the past and an experience when I was sick with food poisoning to the point where I was very delirious and I saw these shadow moving across the walls, like some sort of ghosts to take me away. Everything else stems from that experience, which was one of the most frightening things I've ever been through

Every walk ended with a fall
As dark shadows danced along the wall
I layed in my bed, head in a twist
I clutched at the sheets with a fist
Sickness was in my blood
My vision clear as mud
I cried out at mere air
For I did not dare
Meet the shadows face to face
Again in my bed
The air surrounding is dead
The sheets twist around
No comfort I have found
Now I whimper, no cry
And still the shadows fly
Into my mind they scream
I wish it was all a dream
As the shadows plead their case
And in days far along
There will be an end to this song
When the shadows return
They will receive no spurn
My eyes will see with a glaze
And they will remove that haze
Finally everything will be clear
I will not fear
The shadows will tell me how I finished the race

Somewhere there's a box,full of replacement parts,to all the tenderness,we've broken or let rust away.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Have you ever had a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain it.
7. Describe me in 1 word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When was the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this in your journal and see what I say about you?
Please fill this out for me :)

She's falling down the stairs
she's tearing out her hair
she's screaming my name in the night
to keep her warm.

I do everything i can
to remove you,
but it hurts
and everything we started
its sorta beautiful

A broken heart will mend with time,So what is the cure for a broken mind?

Going, going, going

Don’t stop
Keep on doing
Doing anything
As long as it's something
Other than feeling
Feeling that again

Every thought
Turns into a task
And each gets done
But I'm never really done
Just onto the next thought
And task to be done

Don't dwell
Think about feelings
Feelings hurt to think about
Don't want to feel hurt
So just don't think
Think about anything

Going, going, going
Out of my mind.

Beech

Dont worry I will save us both.
I will sacrifice myself for you.
I know this will make you hate me.
But thats all i can do
I will make this mistake
Forget about forever
Cause its to much pain to get there
Just give up on me
I will make this mistake for you
Forget about me
Pretend it never existed
Please just hate me a little more
Make this easy for you
Don't hold your breath
I won't change
Don't hold on to it
It won't last
Forget this Love
Pretend it disappeared
Just say you never believed
Don't hope for the best
I will make this sacrifice for you
I will make this mistake
I will put this to rest
Your welcome.....


Hold my breathe and wish for something better then me to hold on to my soul. All I seem to be able to hold is my breath. I can't seem to keep you in my arms. Some say let your soul be free and you will be happy, so I shall sit here holding my breath. Hoping that my soul can find its way back to me before i die.


Come closer my Dear
Let us begin this simple symphony
Just us two
Lets make this new begining
Sing for me as our bodies play
Sweet sounds we'll make
No need for an audience
It's our private rehersal
Say your lines without missing a beat
Feel the sweat run down my back
Feel the lights heat
Look out into the emptiness
Only to see Black
But you'll know I am still here
When you feel my kiss
Its never the same feeling twice
I'll improvise this tear
As we open the door to our hearts
We'll step thru and pay the price
Here we are at the end of our stage
Can you still act like you love me



You said this was the last straw
So I set it a blaze
As I stood back and looked upon what I did in shame
I don't know what made me happier
Watching the ashes fall to the ground
Or seeing you scream and not make a sound
Go ahead and try
Try to pick up the pieces they have been scattered in the wind
Many be it will fit back together be better then before
Stronger reinforced with glue
You said no more chances
But I was feeling lucky
I put it all on the table
I thought I got a good hand
Too bad it was dealt to the wrong man
I don't know which is worse
Or knowing it was given up so easy
Go ahead and try
Try to win it all back
Maybe you'll win little more this time if you can
Take a chance you won't regret



Envelope of hope
Letters marked so delicatly
With such love and care
Little hints of "I love you" scattered on each page.
And with all this love
No one to trust......
Envelope of Mystery
Letters marked without a name
With such hope and faith
Little clues of "guess who" hidden in each sentence.
And with all these questions
No one to trust....
Envelope of Tragedy
Letters marked for the last time
With such sin and sorrow
Little clues of "I am sorry" explained in each word.
And with all this misery
No one to trust....
Envelope of Hope
Letters marked with tears
With such pain and regret
Little hints of "Please, forgive me" begging on every tear.
And with all these apologizes
No one to trust......

You Are A Realistic Romantic

You are more romantic than 60% of the population. It's easy for you to get swept away by romance... But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective. You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

I do not feel anger
For this betrayal
As one would expect,
I have past the point of wrath.
There are no answers,
There are no questions,
Just the facts and the reality
Of this mortal flaw.
My body is now the enemy
And my mind the prisoner of war.

My, how ugly I feel today.
Repulsive
I cannot bear to see my reflection
In the hallway mirror
So I scurry past with my head down
All around me I hear laughter
Mean spirited and loud
Cackling at me
But there is no one here
It is only an echo bouncing off the darkness
If I would have known
What today would be like
I would have stayed wrapped up
In my nightmares
Which at least I knew would end when the sun rose
The things that scare me
In the light of day are much worse
Because they are real…
They are me.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I have begun to grow dull,
Blurry and faded,
Like the shadow of a face
Lost in the distance
At the corner of an out of focus photo.
The tart juice of vexation
Failed to illicit the familiar pucker
Of plump, pink lips,
Yet the gravelly bray
Of inappropriately timed laughter
Was absent from the soundtrack of my day.
I wait for the haze,
Which slowly descends
Across the valley of my temperance,
To ultimately shroud my ability to dread
The deterioration of fervor.

Words women use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

LOUD SIGH
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men.

A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man.

"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Send this to the Men you know and want to help, or to the Women you know for a laugh.

I think i'm going insane. I just feel like i'm falling all the time and i can't seem to hold myself up. Then i'm just randomly pissed or sad for no apparent reason. And of course i keep thinking I'm hearing my dad call me from the bottom of the staircase but no one is ever there! i can't even describe it becuase whenever i want to the feeling goes away in an instant. I'm confused and there's all this shit that is going on that i can't even explain.

I feel fucking drained. I can't move. Ok fine I don't want to move. Still its taking everything I've got to fucking live. Everything is becoming a chore and I'm just so tired of living. I'm too sensitive to live. Too lazy to breathe. Too thick to feel. Too desperate to be loved. Too lost to think. Too stupid to be smart. Too much like myself to be someone else.

..and You know you never really grow up. At least I don't think you do. Because it doesn't matter how much you age, how much you change, mature, or learn the basics stay the same. Feelings will always be the same. I don't mean your going to feel the same way about something forever, just that love is always going to feel like love, hate will always be hate. And the conversations stay the same too, or at least the way you go about them. Topics change but that's all. This isn't really getting what I'm trying to say across, but just hear me out. I think that no matter how old you get inside you'll always be the same person you were when you were 6, 15, 24, 33....whenever. No matter how radical some of the changes in your life may be you are who you are and you'll always be that person. The childish side will always be there. You'll always be a litt kid. But this is just what I think, and what do I know? I've never even grown up. But still.......

Is it true?
That you never existed?
That I wasted so many of my tears
That I still cry into clenched fists?

The woman's voice
I heard on the other end
Was nothing more than a make-believe
Figment of someone's imagination?

That the one I loved
I adored
Never died
Because you never lived before?

Before the stack of lies
That forced someone to hack out a dream
That only existed because of our desperation
To be needed?

I don't want to believe your aren't real
All the dark pain we shared
You put on one hell of an act,that convinced me you could feel
I would have stopped at nothing to chase away your fears

I, believed you to be in fear for your life
With no one to protect you
All the while you craved our strife
God, how could you?

Even put on a grand show
Convincing the world of your sudden death
How many attendees to your supposed funeral
Shed false tears as they mocked laughter under their breath's?

I dedicated my heart
To making you feel better
Would have given anything
To make you feel that much safer

I wrote poems to make you smile
I buried you when I thought you had died
In your memory my book was so titled
How this breaks my spirit, that you were just a lie

I'll cut my wrists
Slice my throat
Not for you...
But because of my being this endless joke

I don't want to feel anymore
Nor love again
Neither in reality
Not even for pretend

I just want to remember you
As I once did
So I can be ok
Living in all of this blood soaked sin

Who ever did this
Probably thinks he or she is very smart
But I'll damn you all to hell
For shattering this trusting and giving heart.

Oh, I'll move on
I'll find the humanity still held within
I'll never be the same though
This time I'll be extra picky, when it comes to choosing my friends.

Imagined or not....
This will eternally stain me
...With unforgivable, , decaying rot
That has once again, created my stupidity.

Not knowing what is on the road ahead
Isn’t as scary
When I realize
It's because I am headed to a new place.
The old roads, filled with potholes
Have seen the last of my smiling face.
There are blue skies
And green pastures
Ahead for me.
The tank is full
And I am on my way.
I have so much to give
And I finally believe
Someone is waiting
To take it.
Look out, baby,
Here I come.

Not knowing what is on the road ahead
Isn’t as scary
When I realize
It's because I am headed to a new place.
The old roads, filled with potholes
Have seen the last of my smiling face.
There are blue skies
And green pastures
Ahead for me.
The tank is full
And I am on my way.
I have so much to give
And I finally believe
Someone is waiting
To take it.
Look out, baby,
Here I come.

How can I toe the line
without being afraid to lose my balance?
I have fallen before,
fast and long,
crashing headfirst.
Why can’t I remember,
all the times I stumbled,
then regained my footing?
I suppose if all of my near-misses
left behind scars,
as well,
I’d have a way to keep track.

Now you are gone

Now your gone
Theres no smiles on this face
Theres no more laughs
Just beautiful enchanted cuts
Coldness and numbness are all I feel
All hope has been slaughted
My faith has been broken
My happiness has been ripped away
The shackles of this flesh won't let Me go
I've been sealed in lies by all My "friends"
All My scars seem to live
The wounds still look new
The sweet breaths before death
Winter kiss licks My lips
All feeling is gone
The insanity and emptiness is devouring Me whole
I feel Myself fall in a Black Abyss
Of Isolation
I can see Myself in My coffin
My cell
My penitentiary
I can feel insects eating Me away
Infesting My coffin as I sleep

Biding time in the shadows
Creeping and sneaking
Poking around the relics
Of my past
Waiting for an opening
To appear in my veneer
Anxious and angry
Living and breathing
Surviving on snippets of me
What do you see in your mind
When you think of me?
How distorted is the view
When looking through the lens
Of obsession?
You don’t want me,
The one that sleeps and eats,
Dreams and grows.
You want the rag doll
You sewed together
With the tangled threads
Of fantasy and feelings.
I am a woman, not your hobby.

There is no problem so awful that you cant add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

I can't take this anymore
and i'm almost pretty sure
i've been here before
i can't take this any longer
i won't heal until i'm stronger
strong enough to not be afraid
of what anybody thinks
of what anybody says
about the way
about the way i am
so i'll wait until the day
when those feelings fade away
then i'll make my break

i can't take this anymore
and i'm almost pretty sure
i've been here before
i can't take this any longer
i won't heal until i'm stronger
strong enough to not be afraid
so i leave it up to you
yeah i leave it in your hands
respect your wishes and your demands
but if it was up to me
honey we'd already be back at home
and living out our dreams
living out

everbody and everything i've known
never taught me how to stand up on my own
had to learn it from the one who let me go
now i walk alone, yeah i walk alone, yeah
living blissfully

i guess you had to step away
to make me want to be
a bigger man, a bigger man than that
i need you by my side
as i take it all in stride
I put away, i put away my pride
oh i leave it up to you
yeah i leave it in your hands
respect your wishes and your demands
but if it was up to me
honey we'd already be back at home
and living out?­.

everbody and everything i've known
never taught me how to stand up on my own
had to learn it from the one who let me go
now i walk alone
yeah I walk alone, yeah
i walk alone
i walk alone
i walk alone
i walk alone
i walk, oh yeah

Smorg

I didn't sleep last night. I got up at 3 a.m. and fired up the computer and pissed around. Even once I returned to bed, I didn't sleep.

Today, I feel like a wet featherduster.

I don't normally pray, but I spent a lot of the night praying, words delivered into a dark eyes-squeezed-shut night, awake and desperate, feeling emotional freefall.

I realize I use the word "feeling" a lot. I feel like this and I feel like that. I guess it goes along with that psychological doohickey profile dealiebobber that showed me as the type that feels deeply, alla time. It sucks, really, to feel - to endlessly feel, like some reactive sea anemone being poked at the centre. Especially when a lot of what there is to feel is pain, guilt, shame and anxiety. Who wants to feel that? Fuck it, man. Can I declare a moratorium on feeling? Can I escape the machinations of my own rattled head for a day or three?

Sometimes it's just too hard to get up. She's going for the second try.

Until things move along on Monday I have little to say.
I mean, I have a crapton to say but ... yeah.
Later.

I have been feeling extra blah these last few weeks. Detached. Empty. Maybe its been the lack of sleep (which I tried to remedy with a nap today afternoon), my poor eating habits (only one meal yesterday), the pain in my arm (literally), or that I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. I'm sure I'm over giving blood by now so I doubt that's the issue.

Blah isn't so bad, it just zaps my motivation to do anything - continuing the sense of Blah. I am going over to friends tonight to watch the last part of Lord of the rings, i AM going to the gym tomorrow morning, and lots is on. Hopefully one of these things will help shake the sensation (or rather lack of).

The years teach what the days never know

Beauty

What makes a person beautiful? I often wonder this ... but it's not always so easy to define. Is it how they dress and cut their hair; or is it something ethereal and unseen, like an inner self-confidence that exudes from them? Sadly, some people don't know they are beautiful ... even when it is obvious to everyone else. If only they could truly find beauty within themselves, they might also find ways of projecting their love to others in the process.

Beauty has been defined a number of ways. Maybe beauty is having a character flaw - a flaw that others see as a precious addition to your personality. Perhaps beauty is something attainable apart from perfection; making it thus, the most marvelous of imperfections. Or is beauty simply a smile - and by smiling, we all become more beautiful. To seek beauty without understanding its true character is often an unsuccessful endeavor.

Ironically, some of the most outwardly beautiful people I have met, have had no inner beauty whatsoever. When someone is beautiful on the inside, it overshadows the physical flaws. Beauty is mysterious - an ideal, seemingly unattainable. Many people strive for it, unaware perhaps, that beauty is relative; it exists only as others perceive it. It is truly in the eye of the beholder. Emit beauty from within and all the more will drawn unto you ... ageless and limitless.

Giving you the benefit
Of an array of doubt
Doubting somewhere in your secretive intent
That there will be that weak moment
That will give birth to an evil creation of weakness
Once pried long enough
Will fall to Temptation's horny attempt
To come over you

Don't cause a bump in my graph
You need for me to be calm and sedate
To even out the hyperactivity
That's lodged in your brain

Your worries combined with mine only causes
Doubts to flourish freely, and with that comes
A cynical outlook on what we may or may not have
With each other

Don't allow your friend to
Plant the bad seed that I'm too far
Don't allow your past lover
To tell you I'm too young
There are no lines of separation
When it comes to us
In the language of--Our Love

Have faith in us
Have faith in me
That I will be your loyal-lover
That I will never let you down

I know it's above you
To let me know about your true concerns
But taking on the role as the bigger-person
I hope you will see, that I have no intent
To wrong you
I would never hurt you;
I asked you if you felt better about things
But being Mr. Cool you said you were never concerned
I saw right through that, but bit my tongue
Allowing you to know that I knew
You were every bit as worried as I was
And that's okay, I can be that bigger person:

I'm telling you now that I love you
And that's a deep feeling that penetrates
And migrates me ever so closer to you

Accept and don't question it
Don't fall into the grasp of the self-fulfilling prophecy
Don't allow the prophecy to be fulfilled; prove it wrong
Don't make it all come true that all guys are the same
I'm not like your everyday Joe
Proving your doubt wrong
I'm different, as you can already see

Live up to my expectations that you are loyal
Let me have those expectations
We have to make a pact to trust each other
To never let each other down
There's happiness to be had, ahead

The prophesy is not fulfilling
It should be called the self-unfulfilling prophecy
It will never bring about positive things to fill a void
You can't fall pray to the evil beast
Don't work doubts into the dark looming cloud of prophecy
Keep focus on the sunlight
There's happiness to be had--
He's starring right at you;
Your eyes are beautiful.

Gun metal obsession,

Fueled by depression,

Lingering thoughts of suicide,

Penned by a bullet, filled with death pride



He never let his real feelings show

How were we to ever know?

Did I fail him somehow, while he was still alive?

Because I couldn’t read, him...



Did I let him die?

This is all unfamiliar territory.

Attended a brilliant reading of othello at Rachel's.What a trip it was. somehow, my name is now Mr. knish.

I can't say i'm in love. I don't know what love is. I don't know how people act when they're in love, i don't know how people feel when they're in love, i don't know how people look when they're in love. I know what i have right now feels almost like love, but i know it's not love. I know this because if i call it love, i'll lose it, and that is a proven fact. I don't know what to call this, so i won't.

This territory, it is not what i am accustomed to, not at all.

You live your life with me

Based on many a white lie

Then wonder why I can’t trust you

Turning my anger at you, inside



Telling me that I am being silly

Then blow up at me when I insist

I stay amazed at your apathy

At all this hatred, you claim does not exist



These clues you leave behind, living in denial

There seems some darkness, you can not resist

but when caught, instead of owning up

Seems a clear motive to intimidate me, with your fists



I feel like your pet project

That once, you had adored

Has now become your scapegoat

Feeding off my disgrace, evermore



Your constant anger towards me

Your ever need to find some mistake

Has left me buried inside my grief

Forever feeling displaced



I can’t really put a finger on it

But I feel attached to you, somehow

If only suicide would work for me

I would be free of all this pain, by now



And, so I spend my waking moments

Believing I am, but, a cosmic joke

But the joke will be on you, my friend

When the tables turn, and you end up, being the one choked



Smoked, snuffed out

By the very pain you cause

Your little white lies and quickness of anger

May save you now, but all will soon be lost



Once in Eternity’s realm

No longer behind the comfort of being blind

you will feel every ounce of pain and discomfort

You gave to those, while still alive



You will stumble and be all alone

And this time, you will be the one

Who will end up crawling inside himself

And then, just as quickly, you will remain



Dismissed, forgotten, and... left behind!

Her name is Mystery
and she comes from somewhere else
although she won't tell you
even if you ask politely
that wagging finer and saucy
secretive look
are well-matched to counter
and casual query.

Her name is Mystery
she has an enigmatic smile
like the kind painters strive to capture
and when the lucky few do, sometimes
their patrons and critics and afficionados
struggle to fathom.

Her name is Mystery
and she can't be understood
she must be grasped intuitively
wholeheartedly
before comprehension fades
and eddies
like myst that weaves through fingers
and tickles along the back of your mind.

Her name is Mystery
and she walks forth confidentally
although she's never quite exactly sure
just where she's going
knowing only that it's somewhere different
maybe better, than before.

Her Name is Mystery
and she lives her life as lovely as her name.

Hands sliding
On the steering wheel
Can't seem to get a grip
Those sweaty palms
Nothing in that book could advise me
Not even in the book of Psalms

21 years from the date of my birth
My personal Easter, a resurrection
Given life again
After a close-call
A brush with death
I could feel it breathing down my neck
But I chose to steer away
From an unknown course that scared me
I couldn't look Death in the eyes

I thought I had seen the light
But it was only the four lanes of
Car headlights beaming my way at night
What should have been a disaster
Ended in a silent stand still
It could have been much worse

Driving away from the scene
The scene that became a show
For onlookers watching the maneuverings
Of a man who had lost control
Driving away in silence with
No scratches, just tire-rubber
On the interstate's pavement
Surfaced
Getting away somehow
And wondering minutes later
If the soon-to-be passing of lives
Really transpired
Did that all, just really happen?

Intuition made the choice here
Questioning if his guidance
Either helped me
Or hindered me
Maybe neither
But it forced me to make the choice
The decision was to use my intuition
Steering clear from death's door

Trina, you're a Romantic Kisser

When, is it warm in here or is that just you? When it comes to kissing, you get your drive from the lure of romance. For you, it's more than a meeting of the lips. You appreciate kissing for the rush and for what it symbolizes. Long-stemmed roses, candlelight dinners, and weekend retreats to bed and breakfasts. Sound about your speed?

You're a kissing partner who can go beyond the sweet surrender of locking lips to discuss the meaning of relationships. To really express yourself, you're probably one who's concerned with setting the proper mood. You might light a fire or take your baby to a beautiful lookout before cuddling and kissing. You probably like to make a lot of eye contact, gently hug and touch your baby, and talk tenderly about your feelings.

While your intensions are pure, your intensity might sometimes be a little overwhelming. Don't forget that being playful can also be a sign of affection, and remember, sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.

You know?

I hear every word,

even after I cover my ears

my heart breaks,

with every syllable

my soul cries,

when my eyes have shed their due.



I think back on times,

when I would get smacked

for no reason

and wish you would slap me now,

it would hurt

…a whole lot less.



I often wonder,

just how much one can imagine…

It doesn’t take creativeness,

or imagination,

to know the darkness of such

…unspoken pain.



I lay here,

feeling compelled,

to taking your lashing,

wishing every moment

your voice box would break.



It stings me, deeply

and I have no escape,

but to only love you,

because without you

…who would ever love me?



And so, these bindings

wrap themselves around me,

tighter and tighter,

until I can not breathe

and yet in my fury

…I can not hate you.



I only hate death,

for not binding me,

not embracing me,

as I would embrace death,

but, it remains elusive

…just like everything else.



Except the pain,

of a broken spirit lost,

spiraling out of control,

in this homemade…



…..Misery!

Damage control.Damage repair

So much on my mind, it's in overload and I pretty much exploded. The smoke is clearing and I have a fuck of a lot of work to do.

If I bite off more than I can chew, I'm doomed to failure.

How much should I bite off at once though?

Don't answer that, retards.

IJUSTWANTYOUTOKNOWWHOIAM
I	is for	Important
J	is for	Joyous
U	is for	Upbeat
S	is for	Slippery
T	is for	Twisted
W	is for	Wide-eyed
A	is for	Alert
N	is for	Naughty
T	is for	Tender
Y	is for	Young
O	is for	Optimistic
U	is for	Unreal
T	is for	Trendy
O	is for	Old
K	is for	Kind
N	is for	Nervy
O	is for	Outrageous
W	is for	Wicked
W	is for	Warm
H	is for	Humorous
O	is for	Overwhelming
I	is for	Ideal
A	is for	Artistic
M	is for	Mystical

What Does Your Name Mean?

They hide in the crevices of

…One’s mind

Lurking in the shadows of

…Despair



Inside the dark corridors of one’s heart

Lies the nameless;

Faceless in all its morbid glory

Just awaiting the moment when one will

…Act



Its like a game

There are no virtues…

Here.

The virtuous are weak

And I the meek grab at hands that

…Aren’t even there



I hold onto nothing

Because with nothing

I can not go wrong

To have something;

Anything, means to

…Lose it all



I haven’t much left of myself

To give away

Let alone, allow these dominions

To take it from me

…Whatever that may be



You can see them sometimes

The embodiment of hatred,

Anger,

And futile efforts of those deemed

…Lost on humanity



They survive on discord

Their rapture is to take the very

…Heart of a man

And I…

Stand in front of this mirror

With no image



No persona

No identity

Nothing to call me, or my

…Own

As if I am nothing



Caged and soulless

Perhaps forgotten

But, not…

…Undone

Never that.



So, I remain dominated in

Life’s tedious game

Alone… Yes.

Ashamed… Definitely.

Whole… Never!

Just me, for whatever that’s worth.

Over

You gave me a precious gift
then you took it back from me
my faith in love has been destroyed
blinded by love I could not see

You abandoned me like I never mattered
to me you were so cruel
you took my heart and tore it apart
forgetting all love's rules

You took my love for granted
you gave me a chance to win
the falseness of all this security
made loving you a sin

How many tears do I have to cry
till I can hold me head up high
I never thought you would leave me alone
and watch me slowly die

The truth is now on my side
and all you have is deceit
Take a bow...... the act is over
Let's pretend we did not meet

Back for good..

To have heard of love would be to have seen Heaven. I knew not sight, smell, touch, nor feel of such a thing. I did doth dream; a woman to whom I could love. Scenes of love from movies like Pretty Woman, Barefoot in the Park, and Serendipity. I always could be found wishing for such; that which I have now. And I have seen Heaven; love fills your life of it, though it may only be a small glimpse, Love does give you wings.



She found I

For I never opened my eyes

She stole my heart

And saw through my lies



A first kiss

She did give to me

Now she is

All I can see



She saw me

And changed my life

Pulled me from hell

Replaced with love, my strife



How can an Angel

Love such a Cure

All I know

Is that I love her...


How to say I Love You in 100 Languages


English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te duaArabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)- "Amin mela lle" (thanks Becca!)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe (Thanks Craig)
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer (Thanks Nadine! x2)
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

To have heard of love would be to have seen Heaven. I knew not sight, smell, touch, nor feel of such a thing. I did doth dream; a woman to whom I could love. Scenes of love from movies like Pretty Woman, Barefoot in the Park, and Serendipity. I always could be found wishing for such; that which I have now. And I have seen Heaven; love fills your life of it, though it may only be a small glimpse, Love does give you wings.



She found I

For I never opened my eyes

She stole my heart

And saw through my lies



A first kiss

She did give to me

Now she is

All I can see



She saw me

And changed my life

Pulled me from hell

Replaced with love, my strife



How can an Angel

Love such a Cure

All I know

Is that I love her...


how to say "I love you" in 100 languages.English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)- "Amin mela lle" (thanks Becca!)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe (Thanks Craig)
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer (Thanks Nadine! x2)
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe